You're sitting

by John Doe 25 Replies latest jw friends

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  John Doe

  Ok John Doe, who got the last peice of chicken? The dog?

  Well, no one answered.
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  FlyingHighNow

  Ok John Doe, who got the last peice of chicken? The dog?

  Well, no one answered.

  No, because you see, this is China and those aren't chicken legs. Anyone seen the dog tonight? NO? I wonder where that little fella could be, Dad says as he polishes off the last limb of Rover.
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  Hortensia

  is there an answer? As for Mexican meals, the congregation I grew up in had anglos, Mexicans, Filipinos, Cajuns and various sorts of southerners. They all vied with each other to make huge amounts of food at the "get togethers." You could eat and eat and there was still food. Kind of a fat, happy congregation.
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  cognizant dissident

  This is so easy. The dad gets the last piece of chicken because he is bigger and he bought the chicken and he is the man and if you don't like it, tough beans, move out, and stop that crying before I give you something to cry about! Swat! Now help your mother with the dishes while I eat this last piece of chicken!

  Actually, I don't remember ever running out of meat at our house, but if we did, I have no doubt that this is how it would go down!

  Cog
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  GoddessRachel

  I agree with Cog: Dad gets the last piece of chicken AND manages to swat a kid or two as well. Are we right?
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  John Doe

  The tension mounts, as the chewing stops. Thinking to be polite and hopefully win the piece by false flattery, you say "Mom, would you like another piece?" This is a good ploy, because you know she doesn't like chicken. When she says "no sugar," then you reach and say "Well don't mind if I-----OUCH!!!" as you get stabbed in your forearm by the fork of a snidely smirking older brother.

  "Boys!!! Sit down before I wallop you numskulls." and dad reaches out with the swatter. You can take this all right, because you're used to the alpha male commanding respect. What you can't stand, however, is the incessant, conniving, and snivveling whining that starts emmanating from your "baby" brother's corner. That's right, the same baby brother who was snarling and snipping earlier. "Ah huhhhhhhh, huhhh huuh snivel snivel I wanted more chickie food!"

  The whining is neither unpredictable nor particularly surprising. What is surprising is that dear old mum and dad fall for it. Mom says "Ahhh, did my little snookums not eat enough. Does he needs more chickie food so he can be a big boy?" And dad says "I'm right proud of that man sprout. You can tell he's my boy!"

  And so the final piece of chicken is sacrificed on the alter of whining obnoxiousness. But it doesn't end there folks. Oh no! Baby brother looks at you and your other brothers and smiles, with chicken flesh sticking from his teeth "I got me some chickie food and you good poo poo! he he he." And your mom wonders why there are so many bent forks in the silverware drawer.
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  beksbks

  I assume you are the baby of the family JD?
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  John Doe

  I'm a middle child.
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  FlyingHighNow

  I'm a middle child.

  Me, too. That's why you love me so much.

  I never understood this until now. And the babybrother in my family always got the long end of the stick. He never had to wash dishes for 8 people like the rest of us kids. He didn't have to wait until he was ten for a bike either. Grrrrrr.
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  GoddessRachel

  Oh, man! I'm a middle child too. I think the middle children get screwed. The oldest got stuff the others didn't get, and the baby got stuff the others didn't get. So unfair! What a conniving little brat. Did your lil' brother get his payback later? I'm guessing he did...