I've Been Talking To My Relatives... (page 2)

flipper

COGNAC- So it's safe to say you are getting " clarity " of vision from non-witness family members. I too had a cousin who's dad was my dad's " worldly" brother who we never saw that much- because of the witnesses against the " world " outlook. Don't blame yourself for this - as I was you were brought up by parents from birth in a " mind control cult ". Just verbalize to your relative that you disagreed with the treatment and if you, instead of your parents controlled the situation- it would have been different. Just show her normal authentic human empathy now and in the future. The past is past- all we can control is the here and now- and what we do in the future to make things better. Draw closer to your real non-witness family. Take care, Peace out, Mr. Flipper

cognac

I said i was sorry to her. I wish I had learned this earlier... She said the same thing u did JK. But I missed things, I missed her. My parents said they hated us cause we were JWs... no, that wasn't the truth. They are f*cking lyers. We hated them.

And because of my f*cking parents I missed out on an entire life. They f*cking ruined everything. Years I missed out on. YEARS...

New light for you

(((((((((((((((Cognac))))))))))))))))))

I'm so sorry you're having a hard time. The CULT made us do things. We didn't make those decisions on our own at all. In fact, they were unnatural. Get it all out, let them know how you feel (which you seem to have done) and then you can have a great rest of their lives with them. Dont waste anymore time.

IF you need to talk, I'm here.....

JK666

cog,

It is impossible to change the past, so try not to live in it!

If you have one foot in the past, and one in the future, you end up pissing all over today. Enjoy your time now with these relatives.

JK

Scarred for life

cognac:

I hear you. Remember, you were a child. Your parents were the ones that made these decisions. I also was born into JW. I don't have exactly the same experiences as you but there was and still is many , many sad situations that have resulted from being in a JW family. And much of my extended family are still JWs.

You know the real truth now. Take that and make each day forward a better one. You can build relationships now with all those relatives that you couldn't have in the past. Look forward. Learn from the past but look ahead. You can't change the past.

Awakened at Gilead

Cog,

What you are doing is extremely healthy! I too am reaching out to my non-JW relatives who I have ignored all these years.

It's not too late. Don't beat yourself up over it. Take advantage of what you can rebuild. I know they must be happy for you!

Lance'

Metamorphosis

it's emotions many of us have been through. i have recently been talking to my grandfather and have experienced the same feelings you are. he is very bitter that my dad's conversion to the jw's in his mind took his daughter and his grandchildren away from him. no christmas, no birthdays, no spending overnights on weekends since they wanted to take us to church with them etc... he felt he missed out on much, and i agree with him. i am trying to help heal the wounds now the best i can with what attention i can give. that's all we can do. we can't change the past - but we can learn from it and make sure we improve ourselves as individuals and grow so that we don't continue the hurtful attitudes we were taught.

best wishes cognac as you deal with this - you have much support here as you know.

Morph

changeling

My parents moved thousands of miles away from their "wordly" relatives. They raised me there and I never met my grandparents, ants, uncles or cousins.

My grandfather died in the early 60's. We did not go to the funeral.

For some strange reason, we did go to my Grandmother's funeral in the late 70's, when I was 17 years old. I was overwhelmed by meeting people I was related to as I'm an only child. I cried all the way home on the airplane.

Since leaving the WT I have called and emailed many of my relatives. One cousin in particular. She owns a winery and has a website. On it she speaks of her childhood and growing up riding horses with our grandfather and learning to cook from our grandmother.When I first saw it I could not stop crying. I felt like that could have been my childhood. Instead I was carted around in service as my mother played "missionary".

My cousin told me that my grandmother often cried for my Dad who dissappeared from her life after becoming a witness. While my Dad never spoke unfavorably of her to me, I don't remember him as much as calling her on the phone while I was growing up. It's as if my parents just wrote off their family when they became witnesses and did not consider for one moment the pain they were causing them. They also did not consider that I had missed out on the joy of family because of thir actions. I guess they figured all the crazy annointed missionaries they hung out with were my honorary family.

So, I get what your saying, cognac. It sucks!

changeling :(

tooktheredpill

((((((((Cognac)))))))

I have a lot of relatives, and many of them are kind of unknown to me. Is not that my parents kept me away from them; the problem was that I never draw close to them, because they were "wordly".

Now, I will like to really meet them. I've found many cousins in Facebook! :)

TTRP

searchingforfriends

Cognac, It's not too late to have those relationships with your non JW family. I have begun to have a relationship with my granny and am just starting to learn how my mom becoming a JW affected her life. She felt like she lost her daughter and granddaughter and from the sounds of it my mother wasn't very nice about it. I am now getting the other side of the story and a lot of things are starting to make sense. It is really sad that she had to endure that. I always thought that my grandparents didn't come to see us much because they didn't want to, now I know it's cause the few times they did come they were made to feel very uncomfortable. I'm sorry for the injustices that have been committed against the non JWs that lose their family to this cult, just try not to take the guilt for yourself. What matters most is what you do now that you know better. I hope you feel better. ~SFF

I've Been Talking To My Relatives...

Share this