by JW_Researcher 34 Replies latest watchtower bible
DaCheech wrote
read this story that got me tearing 4 years ago. http://www.exjws.net/pioneers/perez.htm
these elders were being vengeful to him
Thank you for the link and the anecdote about the DFing being used to channel animus toward the DF'd JW.
Clearly, DFing (and shunning) is not always about "keeping the congregation clean."
Hi I have been df for over ten years and all of my immediate family are still strong in the religion. For me shunning has not worked. Although i have and still do face periods of depression i have found a new life for my self. I do agree with the other posts that it makes it harder to stay out if you most of your friends and family are in it. However, if you stick it out over time you can create a new life for yourself. I think some people dont give it enough time or put enough work into rebuilding their lives. Disfellowshiping is a scare tactic that the organization uses and alot of time it does work. This practice has destroyed so many lives it is such a shame that it is still being used. Although i have managed to rebuild my life on the outside there was a time when i did try to go back. I went through the process but was never able to get over my resentfulness. For me shunning backfired.
Hi I have been df for over ten years and all of my immediate family are still strong in the religion. For me shunning has not worked. Although i have and still do face periods of depression i have found a new life for my self. I do agree with the other posts that it makes it harder to stay out if you most of your friends and family are in it. However, if you stick it out over time you can create a new life for yourself. I think some people dont give it enough time or put enough work into rebuilding their lives. Disfellowshiping is a scare tactic that the organization uses and alot of time it does work. This practice has destroyed so many lives it is such a shame that it is still being used. Although i have managed to rebuild my life on the outside there was a time when i did try to go back. I went through the process but was never able to get over my resentfulness. For me shunning backfired.
I also observed a certain amount of glee or "vengeance" when someone was DF'd
I also saw some of that glee as well. After a disfellowshipping or disaasociation notice was read, folks would gather afte rthe meeting to surmise what was the reason. I rememeber one "sister" in particular whoes eyes litterally poked more out of her head than normal as she tried to ascertain the cause. I often wonder what folks guessed about me when my DA announcement was made.
I agree that if most of your family are jws then you are more likely to come back. Although or me this ha not been the case. I have no family members that are on the outside and i lost most of my friends that i grew up. However, i have been able to start a new life i have been dfed for over ten years. My family has little to no contact with me or my children. Shunning is a scare tactic that the WBTS uses very well. Their are those that go back after experiencing this treatment. I know of a person who went back only to be dfed two more times she eventually left and has stayed out for eight years. I tried going back around two years after i left. I went to the meetings sat in the back and left before the meetings finished. I did this for a month before i realised that i could not get over the resentment and could not swallow the bull they were feeding me. I tell people who are leaving that it is hard to leave it is not easy building a new life when your whole life is wrapped up with the jws. Just give it time,get help and get out there and meet new people. I think many people go back because they dont give them selves enough time to adjust, seek out help to deal with depression anger ect, and dont go out and make new friends and relationships.
Thank you, peace
However, if you stick it out over time you can create a new life for yourself. I think some people dont give it enough time or put enough work into rebuilding their lives
Good advice for any who are facing shunning.
donny wrote:
I also observed a certain amount of glee or "vengeance" when someone was DF'dI also saw some of that glee as well. After a disfellowshipping or disaasociation notice was read, folks would gather afte rthe meeting to surmise what was the reason. I rememeber one "sister" in particular whoes eyes litterally poked more out of her head than normal as she tried to ascertain the cause. I often wonder what folks guessed about me when my DA announcement was made.
I think I know that sister.
I think there are just too many variables to know if shunning changes the course of the one shunned.
I believe shunning and disfellowshipping are used as tools by the majority to peer pressure the minority into not questioning or leaving. Not necessarily sinning, because sometimes human weakness just lets that happen, but questioning, doubting, researching, asking questions and trying to convince others they're crazy are all outwardly minimized by the fear of disfellowshipping.
Instill fear and members won't stray (as much).
TheListener wrote:
I think there are just too many variables to know if shunning changes the course of the one shunned.
Agreed. It is clearly a "case by case" impact. That's why a qualitative approach is useful in analyzing shunning. It would be great to have some quantitative data (X number were shunned and Y number returned, etc.).
One impact seems to be the driving of individuals underground and into double lives. As you say, the fear is a driver in whatever the impact.
Thank you for your observations.
TheListener said:
I believe shunning and disfellowshipping are used as tools by the majority to peer pressure the minority into not questioning or leaving. Not necessarily sinning, because sometimes human weakness just lets that happen, but questioning, doubting, researching, asking questions and trying to convince others they're crazy are all outwardly minimized by the fear of disfellowshipping.
Instill fear and members won't stray (as much).
You have hit the nail on the head. THAT is the purpose of shunning, not help a sinner see the error of their ways.
And yes, it works.
