by TweetieBird 21 Replies latest jw friends
Howdy y'all,
Several in our congregation would have big Family Get-Togethers on Thanksgiving - every year.
"We're all off work that day." (Guess they don't get off on Sundays.)
"Turkey is on sale."
"Nothing wrong with pumpkin pie, sweet potatoes, stuffing."
"We pray everyday - not just on one particular day that the government says we should."
Never thought about the cranberries, though.
Almost anything can be justified.
waiting
Hello, Tweetybird.
Your brother in law reminds me of my brother who, when he was df'd for having a couple of affairs (although married with children), regularly defended the organization and self-righteously preached to others about THEIR short-comings. I wondered about that for a long time.
In my psychology class, I learned that several things are probably taking place in people when they act this way. For one, they are under stress (or conflict), one of the most common facts of life. "Conflict" is when we encounter two or more demands (needs; goals) that can't be resolved. To be a 'good' witness, a desirable goal to him, he realizes that he has to stop screwing every woman he sees, which to him is also a desirable goal. He can't achieve both goals - thus the conflict.
Doctors have studied various combinations of these conflicts and the ways humans resolve (or don't resolve) them.
There's approach/approach conflict (being accepted at two equally desirable colleges); avoidance/avoidance (a base runner caught in a run-down between first and second base); and approach/avoidance, the most common and the most difficult to resolve, where the goal/desire/need has both negative and positive consequences. It's the one afflicting your b-i-l. He touts the organization as the preferred way to live (serving God, and all) but is conflicted in not being able to (or fully WANTING to) live up to the standards himself (man... that free pu**y sure is good!!).
Then, it's possible that a mental dysfunction may also be at work. Disassociative disorders are when parts of a person's personality is disconnected from other parts of their own personality. Not surprisingly, amnesia is sometimes a part of this disorder as the mind refuses to accept the dichotomy that exists within it. So, people 'forget' that there is a conflict at work within their own minds. In other words, in layman's terms your b-i-l may be a little crazy -- in preaching to you in defense of the organization, he 'forgets' what he's doing/has done.
And the world goes 'round and 'round.
Peace,
tj
