by justhuman 42 Replies latest jw friends
My heart aches for you.
It isn't easy to pick up the pieces and continue, but please try. Each day that you try, you are achieving a victory against an evil organization. Each day you try, you are proving the WTS wrong. Each day you try, you are getting stronger. There will be setbacks in your recovery but you will be successful. You will triumph.
Much love to you.
Robyn
Just human-don't despair! I am sad to hear of another one who left JWs having such a struggle, but you will note here that all of us have-some worse than others. We can keep working at our lives or we can give up. I think if anyone can leave the confines of the Borg it proves that they have courage and (excuse me) balls. They make it hard to leave for just this reason-it is hard to re-start life after they have screwed it up so bad. Easier maybe to stay in the little rut they make for you.
Instead, figure this: You have a breadth of experiences and knowledge that many do not. You have a future unhindered by responsibilities to obnoxious (and probably some wonderful) relatives who will no longer speak to you. You have your life in front of you. My obnoxious FIL got his law degree at 62. My sis in law got her nursing degree at 42. My husband will have his bachelors at about 50. Not EVER associated with JWs. Many former addicts, criminals and just 'bad' parents can learn new skills and change their lives into WONDERFUL things. Lives change all the time-and the only thing that can change it is if you have a strong enough character to do it for yourself. You already proved you have the balls-now you just need to figure out what you want to do with them.
I am sure there are some inspiring books about people who have turned around the bad in their lives and made it good in their middle(ish) years. While a book itself won't change your life, it may give you some inspiration to think about how you can make the changes you need to.
I wish good things for you. And I wish I could visit you if you are really in Greece:) My cousin visited all over Europe and she loved it the most.
Shelly
Justhuman,
Reading your post just made my heart ache. There was a post somewhere on here about the Five Stages of Grief. When we wake up, it's almost like being re-born. We have to start over, without our "mother" telling us what to do constantly. It is a painful process. I woke up when I was around 33, also. I've done all the crying about all those lost years that I can do. I'm tired of crying over it.
Look around and find at least one positive thing and focus on that. You've gotten some good advice on this thread. I have nothing much to offer except my support. I do at least understand how you feel.
I really wish they could be held accountable for all those of us who were born into that mess.
I would go to college if I could figure out what I wanna be when I grow up.
