Letter of Disassociation

Maryjane

Hello All, I walked away from the JW religion nearly 9 years ago after "waking up" to the lies & mind games. Since then I've learned the full extent of the manipulation (thanks to websites such as this & the CoC book)and have successfully overcome the emotional & spiritual crisis that I experienced the first few years after my departure. I can say that I am at a place in my life now where I am happy, spiritually fulfilled and religion-free! I have an aunt who is still in the religion and she has been telling anyone who will listen that I left because (a) I couldn't hack it or (b) I was deceived by false information on the internet. I have been letting such BS roll off my back, but she is still doing this and I'm tired of it. I was thinking about writing a letter to my old congregation (where she attends) letting them know CLEARLY the reasons for my departure and my desire to formally sever ties with them. It would mostly be a symbolic act, to clear my aura of any association with that group...but at the same time I want everyone I was ever associated with there to know precisely why I left to put an end to the "hearsay". Do they still read letters of disassociation out loud to the congregation? Do they edit the content? Have any of you done this? Was if helpful to you in any way? Many thanks for your replies! -MJ

BabaYaga

Not only do they not read the disassociation letters from the platform, they don't even read them themselves.

But cheers to you, and do it for yourself if you feel the need for that sort of closure. You can pretty much be assured that NO ONE will read what you took the time to write.

Cheers,
Baba.

LovesDubs

Start with your Aunt.

When I left the gossip flew...people saying I was suffering post partem depression, that I needed B12 injections that I was allowing others to stumble me....but NOBODY would listen to the truth. LA LA LA LA LA !!!! I cant HEEEEARRRR YOU!!! is what they say :)

Cindi_67

I've thought about doing this myself. I like how you put it, to clear my aura of any ties with the Org. and start over fresh. I can't seem to do that because of my mom. I will inflict a really hard blow if I do. I don't want to hurt her. My sister died in 2006, and if I do that, she will take it the same way.

That they will read the letter, no they won't. They will of course make the announcement from the platform, but will not read your letter. I agree with the person that told you, they might not even read it. They will probably get to one point of the letter, but will skip most of it to the part where you say Dissasociate.

Sometimes I get so tired of all the non-sense, that I really have contemplated sending in a letter and just get it over with. We'll see what happens in the future.

Maryjane

Thanks Baba & LovesDubs Hmmmn...well I think I'll still write a letter, I'll just keep it short so as not to waste my time. Maybe even write it in a cryptic sort of manner so the elder(s) will HAVE to read it themselves (i.e. don't even include my name just leave clues to who wrote it dispersed within the content of the letter itself...lol)

Finally-Free

The main purpose of my letter was to warn the elders that they'd be prosecuted if they continued to harass me or trespass on my property. I knew they'd never read it to the congregation. Since I didn't like any of the JWs I knew, I didn't care if they ever escaped from the cult anyway.

W

milligal

I had one thought to share with you about this: have you thought about writing the letter and sending it directly to the people you care about knowing your thoughts (whether that's the elders or not) ? Maybe directly to your aunt and other ex-friends?

In my opinion writing a letter is a great way to get your feelings off your chest, you can't guess who will read it or who will think about it, BUT if you send it to the elders they will for sure not pass it on. I recently wrote a letter to my family and purposely left out doctrinal issues because I knew they would immediately shut down (an apostate!!!) I focused on the behaviors I saw that were not christian even by their own standards....I haven't sent it yet though so I can't let you know how it turned out : ) Good luck!

sir82

Not only do they not read the disassociation letters from the platform, they don't even read them themselves.

Exactly so. Once the elders figure out what the letter is, they will stop reading it.

They would never in a million years even dream of reading the letter to the congregation. It will get filed away in a plain brown envelope and stuffed in a filing cabinet, never to be seen again.

Heck, they don't even let the congregation know that you DA'ed (instead of being DF'ed). They just announce "So and so is no longer one of Jehovah's Witnesses."

burningbridges

DONT DO IT. i did this, and all it did was aid in allowing them power over my life. THey do NOT own you. They do NOT deserve, nor need, any letter or justification for your actions, nor do they care. My letter was not read, all they said was "so and so is no longer a jw." the elders who did read my letter spread lies about why I left, they told people i "lost it" and "went off the deep end" Now, I am shunned, and I wish I never gave them the right to do that to me. You by no means need to give them that power. I felt so deeply at the time that I needed to "stand up" for my belifs and that people needed to know I intentionally left, not that I was disfellowshipped. No one knows the difference, it was never told. Please think deeply about this, I can never take back the power I gave them over my life, and I wish I could..., PM if you want to talk.

burningbridges

Hortensia

I wouldn't. Why stir the pot? as far as gossip goes, you can't do anything about people and their gossip. A letter that leads the elders to say you are no longer a JW will just stir the pot and lead to more gossip, not less.

Letter of Disassociation

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