Help me with my "empty nest" moment!

changeling

My daughter is married and lives in another state. I miss her but I'm happy for her and have long ago adjusted to this situation. We have a wonderful relashionship and talk almost daily on the phone and see each other about every 6 to 8 weeks.

My son is in college about 45 minutes from home. He lived in a dorm last year and came home some weekends and all holidays.

My son is now getting a house near campus with some friends. He moves out next week. Yeah, I know, he's only 45 minutes away. Yeah, I know, he technically moved out last year. But somehow, this feels more permanent. First of all, school does not start till the end of August, but he's leaving in July. And, where the dorms close during long holidays, so he had to come home, his house will not.

In the Spring he may study abroad for a semester, so we will not see him for months.

While I'm happy for him and proud to have raised an independent young man, I'm feeling a terrible sense of loss. He is my "baby". I have identified with the role of mother and find myself grieving for what was. I know I'll get over it, but right now it sucks to be me.

changeling :(

lnunya

Dear Changeling,

Been down that road too. It is, however, a time for you to develop another dimension of life. This time it's about you. Take the time to enjoy things that make you happy. Before you know it your babies will be blessing you with grandbabies. And THAT is a whole other dimension. I LOVE it!

babygirl75

((((Changeling)))))

My son is only 9; but I can somewhat feel for you. Now that it is summer, I'm having to share his time with his dad that lives an hour away! I haven't seen him since Friday. He comes home tonight, but the house is so quite and feels empty when he is not there. I just try not to think about it and try to enjoy some me time.

At least be glad your kids didn't leave and then come back bringing more with them!!! I know you are proud of the great kids that you have raised!

Casper

Changeling,

Been there, done that...

Yes, it hurts. It's the cycle of things tho...the letting go.

I still have moments when it overwhelms me, but I work thru it and
am proud of doing my job well, as you should be.

I'm sure he will check back in often, after all, it's a big step for
him too, and he will still need his "Mom".

Hang in there, time will help.

Cas

Hope4Others

I cried for days when my last one left...both my husband I felt down for sometime, I guess we just looked

at each other and said now what. Well it began another chapter in life for us. Kids gone and now we focused

on us. It's been fun...it does get easier. And talking on the phone now and then is always enjoyable they have their

lives now. That what I keep telling myself....

Cheers
hope4others

BFD

You still have your mom and dad to take care of. I know it's not the same thing but, your nest is far from empty.

BFD

parakeet

inunya has the right advice. Now's the time to concentrate on what makes YOU happy. And, speaking from experience, nothing will make your grownup kids happier than their knowing their parents are happy, too.

Quirky1

If you desire to hear the pitter patter of little feet running around tou need to buy a dog or wear a smaller shoe size.

compound complex

Dear Changeling,

Sorry about that.

I have friends with this circumstance: both children are gone, yet the daughter calls daily, the son does not (rarely at that). Any conclusions drawn are anecdotal, I suppose; however, I know many grown daughters who are in regular touch with their folks. And sons? ...... sigh ..........

Guys, in general, are different. More apt to be less aware of parental pain or less capable of responding more sympathetically to our protracted sense of desperate loss. I'm not bitter because I was once a clueless young father and husband.

I'm feeling like anguish, but what I consider an answer to a specific prayer on familial bereavement has been of great comfort.

We parents find the means to cope ...

Peace and love and comfort,

CoCo Cares

changeling

You still have your mom and dad to take care of. I know it's not the same thing but, your nest is far from empty.
BFD

You just had to go and remind me, didn't ya??? LOL

No, it's not the same. I chose to have my children, I did not chose to be my parent's caretaker.

I compartmentalize a lot of things in my life in order to stay sane. My parents and my children are not in the same compartment.

My thanks to all of you for your kind words.

changeling :)

Help me with my "empty nest" moment!

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