Being shunned by JW's who you know have done worse than you

by milligal 14 Replies latest jw experiences

  • milligal
    milligal

    Okay-here's one I was thinking about the other day-after reading some of your posts. Have you ever been shunned by a JW who you know was doing (or had done) some really devious things? For instance when I was df'd the first person to give me the five minute long evil eye at the grocery store was a sister who had five children by two different fathers and a sixth child who was molotto (she was white) and she insisted that she had no idea why he came out so dark skinned.....she was never df'd. So why was she so visciously shunning me? Was it because I wasn't as clever and ruthless a liar as she was?

    Another example- my sister-in-law has never spoken to me-never. I've been with my hubby for 7 years and df'd the whole time so she has never spoken to me. Well she was df'd for a short six months, during which time she serial fornicated and somehow she still managed to get herself reinstated quickly despite the community service. Somehow she feels she is better than me. At least I fornicated with the same person and then married him!

    And here's the ultimate story: my hubby's aunt is baptised, doesn't go to many meetings, just assembly's and family functions. Well she also party's like a rock star and has lived with a man on the weekends (with her husband on weekdays) for as long as I've known her. When my husband and I got together she actually took his ex-wife's (a JW) side and treated us really badly. Of course his ex said we were together before their divorce and this wasn't true-but even if it was WHO WAS SHE TO JUDGE????

    Why is not being df'd a license to treat people like crap when you are acting the same (or worse ways) in private? Anyone else got some juicy stories to share?

  • llbh
    llbh

    I am being shunned by some am not even disfelowshipped - yet. This whole shunning business is about control and is highly corrosive of family relationships.

    The way that they are treating you is horrid and hypocrical

    Regards David

  • jamiebowers
    jamiebowers

    Since I was running for my life, my exhusband never had the opportunity to shun me, but there are many, my mother included who shuns me even though she knows that I was physically abused and my life was threatened by him. He is still a jw in good standing from what I hear. I often wonder if she shuns him when she sees him. They live in different states, but I'm certain she sees him when he comes home to visit his mother. As a matter of fact, he attended my mother's congregation not long after our divorce. Also I watched a brother who shunned the girl he raped. He was privately reproved, and she was df'd. The more I think about it, the more this cult sounds more and more evil.

  • runningonfaith
    runningonfaith

    I know it may be hard but don't let it get to you.it's just another proof of the hipocresy the wts teaches.

  • milligal
    milligal

    It's funny because I don't even think of it as being hurtful anymore. You get numb to it I think.

    Jamiebowers-I am so sorry! You know I have a similar situation where my ex attends the same cong. as my sister and brother-in-law, my ex was abusive also. They go to him to spend time with our son, they won't even ask me if they can see my son. So I know they are associating with him.

    Doesn't make you think that they are all robots? I mean they don't even use their own judgement to support their own moral stand they have to BE TOLD that they are to hold someone accountable-otherwise they will just stick their heads in the sand and pretend that the elders must know best....

  • Casper
    Casper

    Milligal...

    I have no stories, just wanted to say... your examples just blow me away...

    What in the world is going on in their minds these days... I don't remember it being so bad 10 years ago. Can they get anymore brainwashed ...!!!

    Cas

  • Babylon the Great Employee
    Babylon the Great Employee

    My story is not quite as awful but much more ordinary. I got shunned without even being DF'd (I was never baptized, I was an unbaptized publisher), and without even officially leaving The Lies. My best JW friend growing up had always dated "worldly" guys (and messed around with a few worldly guys), and had "worldly" friends. Her mom was much more permissive (my parents were hard-*sses), even encouraging the behavior, so my friend got to go to dances and football games and such, got to watch rated R movies, all sorts of normal teenage stuff. I never told on her, and she never got found out. However, at 18 she got engaged to a JW guy her mom found for her from another congregation (seriously, it was practically an arranged marriage), so she was set to marry him like a good little witness and finally go legit. I was supposed to be maid of honor, had tried on dresses and everything. Just as I'm about to order the dress, they decided that I shouldn't be in the wedding, because I'm too "worldly." (At the time, I had a non-JW boyfriend, although I hadn't officially left The Lies yet.) No one else knew how "worldly" I was, other than I wasn't going to meetings regularly, so it wasn't even about appearances. I didn't even get invited to the wedding, in fact. The last time I ran into her, she actually spoke to me, but honestly I didn't even know what to say to her. Like, I haven't seen you for over a decade, you certainly haven't bothered to talk to me during that time, what's there to say? I was polite, but just without words, really.

  • Finally-Free
    Finally-Free

    The most self righteous people are often the ones with the most skeletons in their own closets.

    W

  • Mary
    Mary

    I was at the corner store Saturday morning buying some gum when the PO walked in. He ignored me (even though I'm not DF'd) so I laughed as I went by him. Yes this is the same pig that had the hots for me when I was underage, the same creep who was seen on several occassions looking in the "adult" section of Blockbuster Videos, who had a locker full of dirty magazines at work and the same guy who called my parents on the day of my younger brothers' funeral to inform them that my other brother "shouldn't be talking" to anyone at the funeral, as he was disasssociated.

    This guy has been on a powertrip for decades, tried covering up his son-in-law's affair and is basically just a creep of a man. Yet from his point of view, he's a much better person than me, simply because he goes to the meetings and gets 10 hours of fake service in each month. Typical Witless thinking.

  • troubled mind
    troubled mind

    One instance that boogles my mind is this young couple I have known for yrs. (I was even her maid of honor at their wedding .) I am old enough to be their mother but was a support to them through the yrs. Any way her witness husband hired my teenage son for summer work . My son told me this "brother " smoked on breaks and gave him alcohol after work even though he is under age . Yet when I decide to stop attending meetings ,because of mainly the blood issue I just could no longer agree about, ...they now shun me !

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