Ok ME AND MY WIFE had fights, and the elders said to get back together....Now tell me... would JESUS say to get back together? the only way to see is by using the bible which you people seem to forget is what the elders use when talking to people. they dont have any extra bible knowledge that you cannot look up as well. When the elders talk to you, they open the bible, they use publications once and a while too. ALL accessed by YOU as well. ALL things you could have looked up as well. The end result is that we are married 19 years now. It was when we were in our opening years of marriage. So you people and your "separate quick" mentality is not based on the bible but on tv. And the elders not getting involved in personal matters is a dumb comment. WHAT matters SHOULD elders be involved in? BASED ON THE BIBLE, which is where Christianity gets the idea of Elders and servants (ministers and decons if you are in the church)they are SUPPOSED to be INVOLVED in matters that the bible has issue with. MARRIAGE IS A MAIN thing. So that shows a lack of knowledge of the bible in general regardless of WHAT faith you are.
Servant Step-dad strangles Pioneer mom Elders ask them to reconcile??
by Witness 007 32 Replies latest jw experiences
-
-
Witness 007
So "the Mike" how many times did you strangle your wife before you both made peace? Did you hit her with your fist...or use a bat? How many times did she end up in hospital because of you? Common give us details! Your comments are stupid. Elders often push and go beyond the saftey of a christian mate to "not bring shame on Jehovah." Your example of "just fighting" is not what we are discussing......SOMEONE DIED because of Elders "biblical" advice....my Mum would not have been so lucky next time they fought.
-
penny2
Welcome to JWD, the mike. Glad you and your wife were able to sort things out and have now been married for 19 years. You must have been lucky enough to get advice which was appropriate for yourselves. I'm saying this assuming the elders helped you to see that "fighting" is not the way christians resolve their differences. So hopefully after assistance from the elders, the remaining years of your marriage were peaceful.
Trying to strangle your wife is extreme. Witness 007, I hope your mum has the strength and courage to stay away from this violent man.
-
WTWizard
There is a time to get back together, but when severe physical abuse happens (no less, repeatedly), that is ridiculous. The hounders ought to be put in a room filled with hungry crocodiles and repeatedly sent there for doing this.
An argument is one thing. We never have perfect agreement with others, and some squabbling, fussing, and argument is expected. However, the minute there is physical force or the serious threat of same, there is no reason to even try to salvage the situation.
-
Mary
This last time they had an arguement about the price of Potatoes. She slammed the car door hard. So he started to strangle her in front of their house....this was after Witnessing!
Yes I can understand how the price of potatoes would justify a man strangling his wife. You're a better person that me Witness007, because if my dad ever did that to my mom, he'd be getting one warning that if he ever touched her again, things would not go very well for him..........I'm amazed that the elders didn't tell your mom that she just needs to "pray more" and "go out in Service more".This is a prime example of the damage caused by having unqualified, untrained people in charge of other people's mental, emotional, physical and spiritual lives. Elders are not trained in Psychology, they know little about Domestic Violence (only that it should be covered up and ignored) and they know nothing of the repercussions of encouraging someone to stay in a violent relationship. Everything-------possibly a person's very life, is supposed to be sacrificed for the reputation of the Organization.
As with the pedophile problem, the elders and the Society itself, have a very 1950s view towards it. In other words, the woman should endure anything and everything just to preserve the family and the reputation of the Happiest People on Earth. Truly nauseating. I hope your mom stays away for good.
-
Rapunzel
The Mike - The principal problem with the elders' intefering in the problems experienced by married couples is that they have absolutely no training and, therefore, no qualifications nor justification to do so. It takes at least several years of intensive beyond a Bachelor's degree [B.A.] to qualify as a therapist and specialize in marrigage counseling. The interpersonal dynamics of marrigage are quite complex. The challenges faced by married couples often seem daunting. In order to be a therapist, a person absolutely must have the requisite knowledge and skills to effectively deal with a couple's emotional and spiritual issues. He or she must possess a great amount of empathy and compassion.
In short, being married is very difficult. If a couple chooses to see a therapist /counselor, that person had better be highly educated and well-trained in order to serve his/her clients well and help them to face and overcome the difficulties associated with marriage in our modern era. The therapist/counselor should have at least a Master's degree, and preferably a Ph.D. After all, everyone is quite justifiably expects that their doctors and surgeons are more than adequtely trained. Marriage is of no less importance.
Let me ask you, the Mike. Would you, personally, have surgery performed on you if you knew for a fact they had no medical training whatsoever? As we know, many [not all, bu many] Witness elders have only a high school diploma. Many [not all, but many] are "encouraged" to work in trades in the capacity of janitors or window-washers. My point is not to criticize or mock these jobs. My question is: How do these trades qualify Witness elders to be marriage counselors? Or, let's suppose a Witness is an accountant or a lawyers, as some are. Would you go to a lawyer for surgery? Would you say to yourself - "Man, this looks like it could be a tumor on my neck, I should probably call and make an appointment with my accounant."
The truth of the matter is that most elders are incompetant ignoramuses. They are utterly incapable of offering any sort of helpful or reasonable advice to a couple whose marrigage is in trouble. Moreover, the Bible itself can offer precious little usefulness in the area of marital problems and tension. The whole idea of "headship" is a load of tripe. It's misogynist bullshit. The "information" in the Bible is outdated by at least two millenia. It was written in an era totally different from our own, by people possessing an entirely different ethos. By way of illustration, as you probably know, there existed cars in the 1920's. Suppose you found a repair manual dating back to the 1920's. Would you try to use that manual to repair a modern-day hybrid car? Many modern cars have computerized components integrated into their mechanics. Of how much use do you think that 1920's manual would be in fixing a modern-day car?
One last point. If there is any - even the slightest - suspicion of spousal abuse in the form of physical and/or psychological violence, then it is definitely a matter for the police. If an elder even so much as suspects abuse or violence, then he is bound both ethically and morally to notify the police.
It is specifically in this regard that the Witness elders show thenselves to be abhorrant and disgusting bastards. Often [not always], in order "not to bring reproach on the congregation or Jehovah's name," the Witness elders turn a blind eye - or even cover up - all forms of domestic violence and abuse. Witness men batter and rape their wives. Witnesses beat their children in the Kingdom Hall, and are met with approving smiles. Pedophilia is an enormous problem within the Witness organization. It is all-pervasive. And yet, the Witness elders are notorious for covering up these horrific crimes against women and children.
Given that the Jehovah's Witnesses organization is a "safe harbor" and sanctuary for pedophiles and perpetrators of domestic violence [this is due in very large part to the so-called "two witness rule," with which I am sure that you are familiar], how the hell can Witness elders be expected to have the knowledge and the compassionate empathy to advise couples who are experiencing troubles in marriage? It's like asking a pig to play chess.
-
Quirky1
Nobody and I mean nobody should have to put up with any abuse like that.
It is childish and uncalled for. I probably would have put a "little" hurtin' on him anyway.
-
StAnn
TheMike, My lovely ex-husband broke my neck in a rage. When I talked to the elders about it, it was such a serious situation that our P.O. was overwhelmed and said, "Well, there's really nothing we can tell you that's not in the Family Book."
I took a page out of my own book and left the jerk and leff the organization. Then I went to a real psychiatrist! Wow!
BTW, my abusive ex-husband is one of those wonderful elders that Dubs turn to for advice on how to handle an abusive mate.
StAnn
-
BabaYaga
St. Ann... you ROCK!!!
And I'm so, SO sorry about your HORRIBLE experience... the only good being that you got away from him and saw the truth about the (t)ruth.
Love,
Baba. -
Witness 007
Sorry to all those who were hurt by these situations caused by Elders...it's very sad.