The pain is almost unbearable (page 2)

milligal

It is hard, you ar right. What is harder is staying in, now that you have an idea about what truth is, it will grind away at you until you make a move. Some people can grin and bear it for a long time, you sound much like me-I am not that way. I have to be honest with myself, even when it's at the expense of expectations.

It's like ripping off a bandaid-you might consider doing it quickly, but either way-you'll move on and eventually what all those people think about you will not matter or hurt so much.

darth frosty

COLD TURKEY.

I am sorry but that is the only way for you to go. Your an elder and your family is considered the example to follow. The fade route takes time to develop.

Now one thing you could do is what a friend of mine did. During his last 2 years as an elder his talks and parts were pretty much anti-JW. he encouraged friends who are having extreme problems that perhaps they need to seek psychiatric help. His funeral discourse was about the person not a recruitment speech. He was more along the lines of a motivational speaker than a mouth-piece for WT manipulation.

Of course this will bring you into the scrutiny of the other elders. Like I said there is no easy way out anymore, The lines have been drawn. Good luck.

ESTEE

Hi Password,

Combatting Cult Mind Control is one great book, but it's more about helping others to awaken after we personally are set free. Right now you and your wife need to take care of you first.

I'm thinking about Crisis of Conscience being the book for you to read, if you have not read it. I'll tell you why. It worked a miracle for me because it broke the spell of me thinking the borg was really "of God" and was rather just an opportunistic book publishing company with unpaid marketers going door-to-door pushing books and such.

For what its worth, my two cents. I send you positive vibes for whatever you decide is right for you.

ESTEE

boyzone

Oh hun I'm with you on this, I feel your pain.

I was never an elder as I'm a sister but I was highly respected by the elders in the cong for being down to earth and talking sense. It was a total shock to the cong when I left. I just wasn't the type of person that could pretend it was the "truth" and fade, I had to go cold turkey.

If you too aren't the type to fade, then please be prepared for some serious flack, If you disassociated, then the shunning may be more hurtful than you anticipate. It was for me. I naievely thought my "friends" of 21 years wouldn't do that to me, oh boy was I wrong!! I have spent the last year being badly hurt by the shunning. I stupidly still sought JW approval and set myself up to be rejected time and time again.

Then my mum (an active JW) got cancer. Instead of helping me the sisters literally turned their backs to me as I passed them. That finished it. They showed their true colours and I finally let go.

I physically left the orgainzation a year ago, I emotionally left 2 weeks ago.

So please think carefully about the course you take. I am glad I disassociated despite the hurt, as its proven beyond a doubt that this org is not only wrong, but positively evil. I am grateful every day to have escaped its clutches and listened to the words of Jesus at Luke 21 v 8

If you do decide to disassociate, then may I suggest you get a support network in place first. Friends from work, join a club, have somewhere else to go on Tuesdays and Thursday eves. Be busy.

Most of all, if you still have a belief in Jesus Christ, then trust him. He said come to me all you who are toiling and loaded down and I will refresh you. He meant it.

I also agree with ESTEE, Crisis of Conscience and In Search of Christian Freedom by Raymond Franz are a "must read". It'll answer many of your questions.

best wishes

rustonmyhalo

Password - hugs for your pain. When i stepped away from JW i lost everyone that was important to me and i lost me. At the time i lived in a small mining town - my congregation was everything to me - i felt like i was something, someone when i was with them. But none of it was real - I couldnt surrender my spiritual self for lies. I know these people are so important - they would be your family and what they think of you is also very important but now that you are awake to the lies, are they important enough to surrender your personal truth. One blessing that you have is that your wife is also waking up. Another blessing is that you are finding your own spiritual ways. Its an incredible shock to discover the mind control within the organisation. Its an incredible shock to find the same mind control within our governments and all religion. Denial then anger then grief - thats the way it normally goes - depending on the person, there is normally a bit of acting out and rebellion amongst this. If it helps - i ended up with a tattoo of a red back spider on my shoulder hahahaha My advice would be to work with your wife thru your grief, support and love each other because in the end, its really the only truth we have - love.

ldrnomo

Remember the saying:

"This too will pass"

It will and you and your family will feel great, you'll feel free.

My suggestion as a former elder that was removed is to talk to the PO and tell him that you have some major problems with the blood issue, write a letter to the WT society and tell them that you don't understand why taking some forms of blood is a concious matter and other forms are a matter for dis-association.

Make sure and tell the society you don't agree with this stand and your not sure you can teach it to others. Don't worry that will get back to the CO and he will tell the boe that you may need to be removed if you feel that way. Then when they meet with you about removing you, you can resign and tell them you need to pray about the issue because it is so troubling and then you and your family can gently fade...

Good Luck

LD

changeling

Leaving is hard, very hard. But don't focus too much on what others will think. Realize that as witnesses they are programend to think the worst of anyone who "steps down". So what, let them think what they want. Wrap your brain around that, and move on. You will be the better for it.

All the best,

changeling :)

Farkel

passwordprotected,

:So, how are the BoE and the cong going to view it when I step down?

Your life is not about pleasing them.

: How are family going to view it?

Your life is not about pleasing them.

:Another thing that's causing pain is the realisation that I'll be viewed as 'weak' and 'lacking in spirituality'

They are judgemental twits. Your life is not about pleasing them. They even judge people who are "spiritually strong." As I said they are judgemental twits.

:when the truth is I've never felt more spiritual or closer to God in my whole life.

Well, there you have it! Would you rather choose personal happiness or spending the rest of your life trying to please people, many of whom don't care about you in the least? When the going gets tough for you and you are down, these people will prove what I just said.

Farkel

Awakened at Gilead

I agree that you should just do it and get on with your life! You and your wife are in this together, so its easier for you.

Remember that you will need new friends anyway, since diehard dubs will shun you once you're inactive or DA...

As a ex-Gileadite, I was once a poster child for the org... my exit came as a shock to those who knew me...

But as a DA'd person, I am happy to be free and I am moving on with my life... not wasting time going to meetings, etc... (no offense faders)

BTW, Happy Father's day to you, PWP....

A@G

Carlos_Helms

Don't worry too much, Bro. The Lord will take care of you.

Been there. Done that.

It might take awhile. That's where endurance attains fruition. Abandon your connections to the world and you abandon the spirit of the world. Just like Jesus said.

You have the tools. Time to cowboy-up.

Carlos

The pain is almost unbearable

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