Need suggestions... how do I respond to my elders?

by Robert7 35 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Blueblades

  Robert7. Still, the PO. will lay out a Q&A for the elders that you rather talk with.

  No worry, you will be able to tell the diffence between the ones your comfortable with and the way they talk with you and listen to you.

  The moment you sense that a Q&A is in the form of prying and not listening then you'll know the the PO. gave them a hit list of Q&A's. That's the time to question them and turn it on them.

  ie. how does the PO. feel about this meeting without him? Did he try and influence you as to how to handle our getting together?

  Of course they won't honestly tell you the truth about any influence or input the PO.gave them to report back to him.

  I really just want to let you know how my wife and I are doing and not to worry about us.

  GARY'and the others gave you some good suggestions.

  I just wanted to give you some other options

  Blueblades
• 

  Robert7

  All the witch-hunting and hounding is really pissing me off. It is doing nothing more than pushing me away further and moreso confirming why I want to leave. Why should I waste MY time answering to some guys just for ONE comment? I am so tempted to just DA and get it over with.
• 

  garybuss

  Robert7,
  
  Elders only have the power I give them and I choose to give them none.
  
  You still respect these guys. You're trying to make a deal, negotiate with them, stack their deck. You think there are elders who will place honor, friendship, and "right", over loyalty to the Watch Tower Society. I hope you're right. I've never seen it.
  
  The Watch Tower Corporation's first line of defense is the member's family. Witness family members are retrained as psychotic watchdogs. Relatives are the junk yard dogs of Witness religion. Here my Witness relatives threw me under the bus. The Witness people aggregate treated me like crap when I was a Witness. If the Witnesses hassled me, I'd go right to the religion editor of the local daily paper.
  
  In my world, Witnesses and ethics are mutually exclusive. There's no room in the culture for honesty, real friendship, ethics, or loyalty. All that's right . . . yields, every knee bends to the Society. Everyone is dispensable.
  
  Hope it all goes your way. Thanks for sharing with the world what it's like to be associated with Jehovah's Witnesses. Hopefully others will avoid our path.
• 

  Homerovah the Almighty

  My advise would be to tactfully honest and say I've stopped believing in the faith in general and you don't want to be an hypocrite

  amoungst the people that are true believers that is not a good thing for anyone, you or them.

  Another safe and better way is to say you believe more in science and technology as the correct way of the world we live in.

  This would be the best approach without bring up the FDS religion part which put you into apostate territory and DF land.

  Just remember to remain calm and pleasant about the whole and do not throw any spears at the religion in general if go the science rout

  you'll stump them into doing what to do, leave the ball int their side of the court and stress too you want not to be a stumbling block for other

  folks that are beleivers............be honest but be careful
• 

  jgnat

  Oh, I just remembered a phrase that is guaranteed to stop a Witness in their tracks. "Do you really want to know?"

  Face it, most have a sneaking suspicion there is something dodgy in Dodge, but they refuse to admit it. It is easier to avoid you than to hear the truth.

  Also, if they are really really ready to know, you can tell them. They were warned. You might just gain a friend for your exit.
• 

  flipper

  ROBERT 7- I agree with BLUEBLADES that the other elders you want to meet with that you feel " comfortable " with will be puppets used by the presiding overseer to fish out more information from you - for them to report back to the P.O. and the body of elders. Believe me - from the voice of experience here- don't be too trusting of these elders. Some elders might appear to be " nice guys " - but they have their hidden agenda in wanting to meet with you , not out of concern, but to see which side of the dividing line you and your wife are laying on. It is what they are trained to look for.
  
  Remember- They only have as much control as you give them ! You don't have to " ask " for permission to meet with them at another time if you don't really want to. You can " tell " them anything you want in keeping hold of control of the situation. Remember - their goal is to control you back into the congregation. Not to help you
• 

  Fisherman

  If you have reponsibilities in your cong you will need to give reasons why you are not fulfilling them if you still want to keep your office position, however if you are unable to attend your religious services for whatever your reasons you have, that is your personal business and if you want to keep your reasons private, you can.

  The Bible teaches, let your words be few. If I could not attend my meetings I would simply state and only once to the Po that: I have some important matters that I have to take care of. If I was asked why I was not going to my meetings. and that is it, Latter on if you want to attend your meetings, go back to them.
• 

  ESTEE

  I agree with the "avoidance" tactics that were suggested in this thread. Screen your phone calls and don't answer the phone or door when the elders call or visit. Silence speaks louder than words --- and there is power in silence.

  ESTEE
• 

  sass_my_frass

  If you're cornered, default to brief good manners:

  "We're just a little confused right now / haven't been well / been quite down lately... I really appreciate your help but we think that we should leave this with Jehovah for now. We'll be able to work it out soon enough."
• 

  Robert7

  As of now, I think we will meet with the elders. We will ask for the 2 specific ones that we think will be nicest. What we don't want is to automatically 'DA ourselves' based on the comments, and our refusing to meet. So meeting is the lesser of the evils.
  
  So I'll take the advice to keep it simple, and seem sincere, and NOT say anything incriminating. Let them 'encourage us' so they can feel good that they're doing all they can. Then they have no grounds on us for anything, and we'll continue our fade.
  
  We'll see how it goes... will keep you posted...