There's turmoil in my immediate future. (page 7)

Doubting Bro

Even if I get past this without being disfellowshipped,

Cunningman - for what its worth, df'ing isn't on the table over this. The worst that can happen is that your father could potentially be removed. From the accounts of what the CO outline says, it seems that it isn't automatic deletion. If you are being "encouraged" is the key. It sounds like your paying for college yourself and that the only thing your parents are doing is allowing you to live at the house. Understanding their silly rules, they could say that your father isn't encouraging you because he isn't paying for your education. Similar to the way they view an elder's kid marrying an "unbeliever". The parents can go to the wedding but can't offer any financial support since that would be "tacit approval" (I kid you not - this rule is also not in writing but delivered via a CO outline). But, if they so much as pay for the flowers, the father will be removed (I've seen it happen and know all the details).

How popular is your father? That's what it is going to boil down to. If he's well liked by the BOE, they could reason that since you are so close to graduation, you've been going for several years and he's not paying for the education, that he still "qualifies". Especially if you still go to meetings, which is probably worth it right now until you can get on your own.

CunningMan

Doubting Bro,

I believe this policy applies to Elders who allow their young to go to college as well. Besides, my parents did give me some money for a class I had this passing semester.

Burger Time,

Thanks man. Maybe if I can manage to get some clams, I'll be able to take another trip to Charlotte next month.

sir82

Another possibility would be to move out for the next year.

If you're not living under his roof, your not "in his household" and thus he can't be held responsible for your actions. Especially if you are in your mid-20's.

Anyone nearby that you could roommate with?

In any case, there almost certainly is no danger of you being D-F'ed. "Going to college" is not one of the reasons for D-F'ing in the elder's little green book.

CunningMan

sir82,

I realize I can't be disfellowshipped for going to college. I afraid I may have to disassociate myself if the harassment gets really bad. If I start butting heads with my parents or the elders and they try to pressure me to drop out, then I might disassociate myself.

milligal

Cunningman-I just wanted to add a little something further. I want to offer you support and best wishes-I know the struggle you are going through.

With that being said, my comments might otherwise seem harsh, and I don't mean them that way, it's just this: we were unfortunate enough to be raised JW and without options for education, career or any form of freedom of choice outside JW. Simply put, people like you and I have no choice but to bite the bullet-it is what it is. You may get extreme social pressure, your dad may get removed, he may threaten to kick you out, you may very well face turmoil over your choice to become educated. That's what life is for you-right now-not forever but just at the moment.

You only have three options as I see it: 1) try to renegotiate with your parents, if they will see reason- to allow you to make your choices come what may 2) give in and quit college to shut everyone up around you, then live with the consequences of that choice 3) do what you want and continue college even if this means scraping by and getting help from worldly friends or relatives. Or you could even join the armed forces to get your education-this is what my husband did-he went to Iraq we just didn't have any other options. MANY people worldly also, take this last option.

It's tough, and the choices are not great, but you do have options. My husband and I have been on the brink of having nothing, we had to make those tough choices and make sacrifices, but that's what separates the men from the mice. Maybe this is your time to show that you're a man. Good luck.

Doubting Bro

CM - take a look at the first hand accounts of this outline. Borg speak at its finest I know but there's a huge difference between "allow" & "encourage". They always give "examples" as guidelines for the elders to follow and present some hypothetical situations. One of those situations presented (according to the accounts, I quit being an elder over a year ago so I haven't heard the outline first hand) could be spun (if your dad is popular with the other elders) to met your situation. Whether you can stay at your parent's house and finish your education without your dad catching a bunch of crap from the rest of the elders is really going to depend on how valuable he is to the BOE. Your situation is not clear cut according to what's been presented.

Balsam

Can you imagine how many ministerial servants and elders in the JW this kind of policy will illimiate probably 1/4 to 1/3. What about the elders who have gone back to school so they could get jobs to support their families and the ministry? Talk about shooting themselves in butt, this is astonishing. Keep us posted I will follow this thread to see how it turns out. I feel for you cunning man, hang in there.

Ruth

CunningMan

Thanks Balsam!

horrible life

Is there any way, you could work for Public Health? It is a branch of the Government. OMG!! I have learned about Public Health just lately, and I am amazed at the benefits. They will pay off all of your student loans, if you will work for them X amt of time.

My co-worker, had $70,000 in loans. She only had to work 3 years, to get this paid off, and drew full salary, even more than what I make, AND she also draws a food check, lodging check, and just went to Disneyworld, got discounts on airfare, and got to stay on site at Disney, in their unknown to me, Military hotel. The perks just keep on coming. Continuing Education is paid for also.

She went in as a Lieutenant, (all she has is a bachelors) You don't even have to go through basic training!! If after your time is up, for repaying your loans, if you want to stay, you can retire after 20 years. I am encouraging my daughter to do something that Public Health needs. You would be surprised!! They even need engineers.

There's turmoil in my immediate future.

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