Are all congregations equal?

kzjw

I've not posted much, but as I've lurked here trying to find the answers about the WT lies, it only re-enforced my disdain for it's cult like properties. I've read the horror stories of some who've been trapped in the "JW-multi gen" families trying to extricate themselves from the BORG, and truly have empathy for "these ones".

I have also attended a couple of months worth of Sun meetings with my wife (I listen to the talk, then walk during the WTS) and as you've seen from previous posts, if the speaker lies, I will point it out to him after the meeting. But yesterday in a conversation with my wife I shared with her what I read on JWD, compared to how her congregation operates. My conclusion? They don't match up! Sure they have over-zealous, luke warm and "just here cause I haven't found anything better" JWs, but I haven't been privy to any major horror stories. Though not all of the "friends" carry on conversations with me, there are friends young and old who almost seem to gravitate toward me with genuine pleasantness, despite the fact that they know I'm not down with, nor do I tolerate the WTS in any form (they've asked why I leave the WTS meeting, and I've told them). When we were having marital problems 6 months ago, the elder(who was aware of the problems) stood down at my request in a private meeting, though he could likely have held a JC and persecuted my wife for her actions. According to what I read from some on JWD, most edlers wouldn't have hesitated to do so.

Also, as I spoke with my wife about the "No higher education" issue, she assured me that she knew it was important for our kids to further thier education. Additionally, the presiding elder of this cong holds 2 degrees, his daughter holds her Masters and several of the 20-something married couples are either moving toward or have degrees. I told her about the post on JWD from the young lady who was persuaded to destroy her husbands memorial flag, and the elder whose doubts over the dropping the extra meeting brought him to JWD just days ago...She seemed to have empathy for those stories and then told me that she doesn't take all that she reads form the WT as "Law". Needless to say it was very promising to hear this news, though it puzzled me, until my wife brought up the issue of race. Her opinion is that non-african-american congregations are not as "loving", and by being less personal, maybe that is the root of some of the horror stories here on JWD.

So I guess part of the dialog for this post poses the question;

Is there a difference among white congregations compared to african-american or latino congregations?

Casper

Your cong. sure is different than the one I attended...!! I did not feel a closeness at all but, it was made up of mostly family members. They seemed to keep to themselves.

Is there a difference among white congregations compared to african-american or latino congregations?

I have never been to an African-American or Latino cong. Having met people of both races, I always envied the genuine love and friendliness they seemed to have. A more open attitude, and I made some very good friends, while in...

Cas

Mickey mouse

There is a huge difference between congregations and it's not just down to ethnic make-up. I've been in a few and they all had their collective character. Congregations in cities tend to be very different to the suburbs which are different to the rural ones.

Mickey.

booby

I totally agree, with Mickey Mouse, having been in different congregations.

Also Additionally, the presiding elder of this cong holds 2 degrees, his daughter holds her Masters and several of the 20-something married couples are either moving toward or have degrees. Constitutes a very unusual situation.

snowbird

I'm African-American, and I assure you that the extreme shunning to which some of you have been subjected just didn't happen in the congregation with which I was associated.

No doubt it has something to do with our experiences with slavery and Jim Crow, but Black families stick together no matter what.

Overcoming adversity makes us stronger, more compassionate, and less judgmental, imo.

Sylvia

Switch

Congregations are SO varied I've attended 6 different Halls from moving around and they've all been dramatically different from each other. They take on their own personality depending on the area and mix of people's personalities. The hall I grew up in was very strict, follow the rules to the letter, and if you're not a pioneer or striving to be a pioneer then you're a nobody. After I moved away, the second hall I attended was in an affluent area so the brothers were largely materialistic and loved status. I think my records from my old hall had barely arrived before we quickly got out of there. The third hall was more the same with lots of young people leading double lives. The fourth hall was a decent mix of people and seemed friendly, though had some real oddballs in it. The fifth hall was in a big city and the brothers and sisters were very humble but very social and not judgmental in the least. The sixth hall (which I've currently been in) has a wide range of nationalities and doesn't mix well together. Not that there are spats or anything, just little cliques everywhere.

You can get a decent sense of a hall by attending a few times. Certain halls have affected my spirituality over time. If I had attended a couple of them as an interested person, I definitely wouldn't have gone back. As it is, I was pretty much raised in so I accepted all the unbrotherly love as pretty much normal. Everyone is imperfect...God will correct things in his due time...blah, blah, blah. Now looking back at the majority of people I've met, the percentages of genuine, loving people can't be any different than people in other religions. So I guess that love that is supposed to be so evident between brothers and sisters doesn't really match up to what I've witnessed.

kzjw

Those are interesting observations, but now for the second part -- I still despise the FDS! So I'm wondering if my admission to my wife that it's not as bad where she is compared to what I've been telling her, how do I extricate her from the BORG?

BurnTheShips

Is there a difference among white congregations compared to african-american or latino congregations?

I hate to say this, but in my area the English language congo would lord it over the Spanish lang congos. There were three Spanish and one English congo, and the English called the shots.

Until we finally rebelled.

I think I had a bit to do with it. I kind of instigated the PO to stand up.

BTS

Seeker4

I'm not so sure about the ethnic make-up, but I think the personality of the alpha elders will have a lot to do with the congregation.

For instance, the story about the woman who was told by her Bible study conductor to cut up that flag and burn it. As an elder, I wouldn't have put up with that nonsense for a second. I'd have told that sister to back off, that she was totally out of line, and told the student that it was worshiping a flag that JWs didn't do - not owning a flag of such personal significance for her!

My ex-wife's dad, a JW elder, was once in the service. We kept his service, in uniform photo, on the wall. Some people didn't like that - but that was all simply opinion, and I made that clear and did what I felt was right.

So, if you've got a bunch of strongly opinionated elders who like to stick their noses in everyone's business and take a hardline on issues, the congregation will likely reflect that. Be assured, there are tons of congregations with lots of big problems, and a handful with things running smoothly.

S4

MissingLink

Like Switch said - the 5th congregation we went to was ALL black (except for us). But these were the easiest people to get along with and the most accepting. There were problems (one dominant elder who all the others were afraid of), but in general people were just trying to get by and help each other out. I don't know if race, education, or economic status was the difference.

The congregation I grew up in was 50% black, 50% white. The PO was black. He was the biggest racist you'd ever meet. Just thinking of that bastard makes my blood boil. He didn't allow us white kids to play with his black kids. Didn't want to spoil their culture. But despite him people mostly got along and it was a pretty good scene (as JW scene's go).

Each congregation was unique. Other than studying the same material, I haven't seen the "unity" they talk about.

Are all congregations equal?

Share this