Gifts from my old hall..

by Garrett 22 Replies latest jw friends

  • Garrett

    Hey guys,

    So, it seems the hall I used to attend before my latest one got to hearing that I "disappeared". So today, I went to the post office to pick up a package...

    I decided to try to face reality and open it... what I found were multiple letters and wrapped gifts. When I saw them, a wave of emotions hit me like a ton of bricks. I decided to not look at any of the cards or letters and threw everything out.

    I know this is my choice and I'm not going back to what I was because I finally feel happy and know what's really going on, I just wished people would accept my decision. These people helped me when I was in their hall, but it seemed they had forgotten about me since I never received word from them... They were my best friends who stopped contacting me... Now all of a sudden they send me gifts and multiple cards/letters when it's too late?

    I don't know why I'm posting this, but I feel like I needed to write it out somewhere. It's really rough...

    Peace and love,


  • Xanthippe

    Sorry I know this is rough Garrett. When you think about it this is so weird. If you moved away from a small town and you received a box of letters and gifts from everyone you would think how strange. How did they all get together to write to me? This is just so organised isn't it?

    So what is the motive here. Why have they organised this? It's a cult love-bombing strategy possibly motivated by a CO visit guilt fest. Well done not falling for it but I do sympathise, it is hard when they used to be your friends. They are lost I'm afraid, it's very sad.

  • Listener

    All but one person would have been prompted to contribute to this.

    They are against giving Birthday presents because it gives too much attention to the one person so I wonder what is different about this package?

  • The Searcher
    The Searcher

    Very sad!

    But for me, the ultimate sadness is that no matter how much we genuinely care about such ones, we have to retreat and become social hermits from active Witnesses, because we cannot have any honest discussions with them about the Bible/Org - unless of course we have no Witness family members to lose.

    Witnesses have the mark of "cult" on their foreheads, but translate it as "the truth".

  • ToesUp

    It's love bombing. Maybe they are counting their time. It's good you didn't open any of that stuff. It's all conditional love. Don't let them pull you into their web. Move on and enjoy your life. Cheers!

  • FayeDunaway
    I'm glad you didn't read the letters, they would have just made you feel guilty. But it does show that they cared about you enough to send them. So take that positive slant on it: you are worthy of love and care. No you can never go back to that unhappy place!. But some sort of response would be nice of you, and expected. Maybe a letter back to the person who you think had the idea? A brief note of appreciation for them making you feel loved.
  • wisdomfrombelow

    I know many people who would be so happy to have received that type of attention even if it is from people who you no longer care about. What did they have to say? You will never know. I refused to paint every active JW with the same brush that many do. Maybe some of them might have written things that could have indicated unconditional love or maybe some might be feeling the same as you and wanted to let you know.

    It is definitely not typical as most here will tell you when they faded it became "out of sight, out of mind" but that is just my opinion and my reaction. They did much more than just send a text or make a phone call. They actually wrote cards and letters and even mailed gifts. I find nothing wrong with what they did and it seems like a very nice thing to do.

  • ToesUp

    I agree, it was a thoughtful gesture. The issue I have with it is...if you told those ones that sent the items that you no longer believe as you used to but are still the same lovable, kind and gracious person that you were when you were in the organization, they would drop you like a rock. They would no longer desire a friendship with you. They would say..."you left Jehovah." That is not friendship.

    We have several "worldly" (don't you just hate that word?) friends and if I told them I never wanted to be a Baptist, Catholic, jw or whatever religion, they would not dump us like rocks. I know these people well and I know they wouldn't do that. These non believers have been very kind to us.

    I find the conditional love and lack of love one of the MANY flaws of the JW's.

  • New day
    New day
    My wife has been sick for a while and has missed many meetings. Just the other day I was given a card for her signed by all the members of our (foreign language) group. It touched us deeply. So that basic human and Christian kindness goes a long way. Even though I have major issues with the org on the generation teaching and the new funding arrangements I still feel a great warmth and love for the average bro or sis who is simply trying to be a Christian.
  • millie210

    Most people wouldnt get this just because they dropped off the radar.

    You must be a very special person to a lot of people Garrett!

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