Pimping the Divine Name

by Farkel 27 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Farkel
    Farkel

    Obviously, a unique aspect of the WT Religion is the name it has chosen, "Jehovah's Witnesses." It is a name that makes the religion stand out, REALLY stand out. Like leprosy stands out, or a boil stands out. It is a name that doesn't evoke a warm and fuzzy feeling. It is a name that most people would describe as "weird."

    It is also considered to be the most holy name in the Universe, wierd and all. Now, this thread is not about whether it is the "correct" name of God or not. Let's just assume that it is, even though it probably isn't. The point is, the name is a big, big deal for the JW religion. It defines them. It makes them feel uniquely special since only THEY are the witnesses of the one true God. Note that the name of the religion is not "A Few of Jehovah's Witnesses Here and There." NO! It is "JEHOVAH'S (only) Witnesses!

    So when dubs identify themselves as being Jehovah's Witnesses, the natural reaction of outsiders is "the name of your religion is weird." This is taken by dubs as being absolute proof they must have the truth, since in their minds weird = truth. In fact, in dubthink, the weirder = the truer. So in order to enforce that public perception of themselves, they say the word "Jehovah" more often than they say the names of their children. Jehovah this. Jehovah that. In fact, if they were to NOT use the name Jehovah in a prayer or a talk, they actually believe their God would be so pissed off, he would turn a deaf ear. Then again, their God turns a deaf ear to anything they say, anyway. But I digress.

    God's name is a holy name, so the Bible tells us. Moses was told to tell God's people not to take that name in vain. Jesus said God's name was to be hallowed or sanctified, i.e. it was holy. Jesus never even used that name in his model prayer of Matt. 6, so the reverance he had for it was obvious. According to dub reasoning, since Jesus didn't use God's personal, God shuld never heard that model prayer, But of course that was JESUS praying to his own father so God MUST have heard it. So who prays improperly, dubs who pimp God's name or Jesus who hallows it? Jesus was showing Christians not to flaunt that name, yet flaunt it is what dubs do. They are pimps of that name.

    But what is in a name? So asked Shakespeare. To paraphrase Shakespeare, "a Watchtower by any other name would still be a pile of shit." In other words, names aren't all that. The WTS tells us God needs a name to distinguish himself from all of the other gods out there. I assert that God doesn't "need" anything. Humans need stuff. Gods don't need stuff. Jesus prayed to "our Father in Heaven." He certainly believed there was only one Father in Heaven. That was good enough for him. Why then, do dubs have to invoke the name "Jehovah" a multitude of times in their private and public prayers? Are they afraid they might be construed as praying to the wrong guy?

    While the Jews were still considered God's people, the priests were very circumspect with the use of that name. Originally, they only wrote down the TetraGrammaPhone,"YHWH", which is roughly pronounced "YHWH". Then later on, some pransters changed it to "JHVH" which is roughly pronounced "JHVH." Still later on, some wise person came along and said, "Hey our written language stinks! We need to invent some vowels. People are beginning to think we're from some Slavic country." So they invented some vowels and slapped them between the consonants in the TetraGrammaPhone. But did they put in the "right" vowels in the right places? Did God say, "Hey, an 'a' goes there and an 'o' goes there?" No. God did not do that.

    Why didn't God bother to do that? Could it be that being known by a name was not that big of deal for the God who created everything?Could it be that God would still hear your prayers if you referred to Him in prayer as say, "Dweezil" or better yet, "Mahershalalhashbaz the Magnificent?" According to dubs he wouldn't hear such prayers. Yet according to Jesus, if you merely refer to Him as your Father in Heaven, he will hear you.

    Bible God has yet another name/title which is much more descriptive than the mere name "Jehovah." That name/title is "Jehovah of Armies." This speaks volumes about Bible God and the frequency with which this term appears in WT literature speaks volumes about the WT mentality.

    Here is a typical WT citation:

    *** w97 1/1 8 Let All Glorify Jehovah! ***

    7 Introducing his prophecy, Haggai said: "This is what Jehovah of armies has said." (Haggai 1:2a) Who might those "armies" be? They are Jehovah's angelic hosts, sometimes referred to in the Bible as military forces. (Job 1:6; 2:1; Psalm 103:20, 21; Matthew 26:53) Does it not encourage us today that the Sovereign Lord Jehovah himself is using these invincible celestial forces to direct our work of restoring true worship in the earth?-Compare 2 Kings 6:15-17

    Hmmmm. God needs some armies to help direct the work of restoring true worship? Is Bible God lazy, or just too weak to do it all himself? Maybe He just likes to keep the Angel's Local 40 Union happy and employed? I don't know.

    The phrase "Jehovah of Armies" appears 8,911 times in JUST the WT magazine from the years 1950-1997. That averages 190 times per year and 8 times per issue of the WT magazine. Since the WT magazine is 32 pages long, that means "Jehovah of Armies" appears on a whopping average of 25% of all WT magazine pages! The phrase also appears a total of 2,614 times in the 1972 Paradise Restored book. Given that fact, it's obvious dubs believe that restoring paradise will require Jehovah of Armies to do some serious killing.

    There is one easy way to clearly distinguish Bible God from all of the other Gods people worship. Bible God needs a more desriptiive name. "Jehovah" doesn't describe God very well. Since Bible God has murdered more humans than all of the other Gods in human history put together, why not just refer to him as "Murder God?" He'll know you are referring to him. All the other Gods will know, too, and that will help keep those other Gods in their proper and inferior places.

    Then you won't have to run around like a bunch of idiots pimping some weird so-called divine name.

    *** Rbi8 Matthew 6:6-8 ***

    6 You, however, when you pray, go into your private room and, after shutting your door, pray to your Father who is in secret; then your Father who looks on in secret will repay you. 7 But when praying, do not say the same things over and over again, just as the people of the nations do, for they imagine they will get a hearing for their use of many words. 8 So, do not make yourselves like them, for God YOUR Father knows what things YOU are needing before ever YOU ask him.

    Farkel

  • twinkletoes
    twinkletoes

    Thank you Farkel, an excellent post.

    bttt

    twinkletoes

  • GentlyFeral
    GentlyFeral

    farkel,

    TetraGrammaPhone

    Isn't that a German record company?

    gently feral

  • Farkel
    Farkel

    gf,

    : TetraGrammaPhone

    :Isn't that a German record company?

    Heh, heh. You mean DeutcheGrammaPhone, which is the divine name of the Teutonic God, in case you didn't know.

    Farkel

  • Kenneson
    Kenneson

    Oh, the Tetragrammaton. O.K. LOL

  • Athanasius
    Athanasius

    Excellent post Fark. You are so right about the JWs' hangup with the name Jehovah. I remember the last Public Talk that I gave before leaving the JWs, I purposely didn't use the name Jehovah, but used God and Lord instead. By the middle of the talk nobody was sleeping, instead all were listening and many seemed a little nervous. The atmosphere in the hall was very strange and everyone was a bit on edge. So, not wanting to have this congregation's Body of Elders send my BOE a negative letter about my talk, I started using the name Jehovah in reference to God. When the audience heard the name Jehovah, they relaxed and some even went back to sleep. Guess the name has a relaxing effect on the JWs.

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Saith the Farkel: Obviously, a unique aspect of the WT Religion is the name it has chosen, "Jehovah's Witnesses." It is a name that makes the religion stand out, REALLY stand out.

    Ackward name indeed...
    Eddie: I'm Catholic.
    Joey: I'm Methodist.
    Billy: I'm one of Jehovah's Witnesses.
    Eddie: You're a Jehovawitness?
    Billy: No, I'm one of... nevermind. Yeah, I'm a Jehovawitness.
    Joey: Is there a Jehovah Witness church?
    Billy: No, we call it a "Kingdom Hall".
    Eddie: A what?
    Billy: Well, it's a church with no windows.

    Farkel addeth: So in order to enforce that public perception of themselves, they say the word "Jehovah" more often than they say the names of their children. Jehovah this. Jehovah that. In fact, if they were to NOT use the name Jehovah in a prayer or a talk, they actually believe their God would be so pissed off, he would turn a deaf ear.

    That condition of overutilization of the Divine Name is called "Jehoverload".

    B the X

  • Rapunzel
    Rapunzel

    http://www.educationdigitalmedia.com/view/8

    Your post reminded me of this (in)famous scene in Monty Python's "Life of Brian."

  • Rapunzel
    Rapunzel

    Sorry, I tried to cut and paste the "stoning" from Python's "Life of Brian." But it seems that I cannot cut and paste from YouTube. I have no iea what the problem is. Do you have to first register to cut and paste? Can someone tell me how to cut and paste YouTube clips? I can't seem to do it from the YouTube site.

  • Sunspot
    Sunspot
    To paraphrase Shakespeare, "a Watchtower by any other name would still be a pile of shit."

    It DOES have a nice ring to it.

    Maybe I can work this into a nice needlepoint to hang on the wall.

    Good post Fark!

    hugs,

    Annie

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