You leave the Borg., your spouse stays in. Does marriage become hell?

by Hiddenwindow 36 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Hiddenwindow
    Hiddenwindow

    For those of you with such experience, how difficult was your marital life after you left the WT?

  • Finally-Free
    Finally-Free

    My marriage lasted 6 months after I left the cult. Other than the cult, we really had nothing in common.

    W

  • oompa
    oompa

    It does for awhile....during the arguements and the tears and occasional screaming and requests for marital counseling and your own meds and therapy and increased use of booze while you whack off a lot more..............then it becomes less hell and this real awkard period sets in where you just feel like a FREAK around everyone you cared about and they call you a FREAKIN APOSTATE behind your back while you know you aren't but you sure as hell would like to get you wife, family and friends out though.....oh and burn down all the halls in a 10 county radius...............oompa

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    I think the bulk of my reason for being here is because of my marriage.
    It is definitely a challenge. It depends on the marriage and the people.

    Some won't tolerate the former JW's changes. Some former JW's will
    not tolerate the control that the cult has in their lives because of the believer.

    My marriage is strong. But getting there took much preparation as I
    slowly revealed things to the wife. We don't let the religion come between
    us, but she tires of my pointing out the flaws of the cult to her. I have to
    go weeks at a time without saying anything about JW's.

  • Hiddenwindow
    Hiddenwindow

    Wao, oompa, I'm frightened.

  • TinyDancer124
    TinyDancer124

    My dad left the religion years ago, but my mom is still an active JW. I'm pretty sure they hate each other now. :(

  • WTWizard
    WTWizard

    Usually, it was hell when you were both in. Why? Stagnation. You were both forced to waste much time and energy in field circus and theocraptic activities that should have been spent developing common grounds. Sexual desires are never really satisfied while you are both in. Money is tight. You are both distracted by the Washtowel Slaveholdery.

    Then, if one leaves, this makes the other seem more lifeless. The one that's in is going to try to get you back in with any means possible, and peace is no longer possible unless the defector gives in and rejoins the religion they no longer believe in. Religious neutrality is no longer possible. The defector now becomes aware of needs that are not being fulfilled, while the other is still part married to the Washtowel. This is what makes most of the trouble.

  • Superfine Apostate
    Superfine Apostate

    you have to walk through a little hell when you "confess" to her. which mostly depends on the fact, that everybody in the congregation will ask her things about you and she'll feel bad. you have to understand that and not push it too hard in the beginning.

    after that she'll eventually get used to it and life will be much better than before. due to the brothers talking $hit, she'll also eventually stop going to the meetings.

    well, that was my experience. if she loves the religion more than you... i can't tell.

  • garybuss
    garybuss
    You leave the Borg., your spouse stays in. Does marriage become hell?


    No, It's just screwed up different.

  • Witness 007
    Witness 007

    Sometimes as in my case your partner follows you out....my wife once broke a fry pan on my car because I didn't want to go to the meeting...today, she hasn't been to one for a year.

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