by Quirky1 10 Replies latest jw experiences
I understand many of us here are ex-JW's and have had many experiences leaving the religion. I am looking for those who have had success in helping others to leave the organization?
How did you accomplish it?
What tools did you use?
What helped them to understand?
Did this web site have any influence?
It took some time it was really hard since I was underage and still living at home with my parents, but dispite all the beatings and things taken away from me, I stood my ground. I didn't try and use any books, writings or scriptures to make my stand I just told my parents and "elders" that I didn't want anything to do with the JW's However, I did have support from my worldly friends parents, they were so very nice and understanding, I think because of their love and support I was able to leave. It took me leaving home at 17 and just starting my life for them to understand that I wasn't just inactive or going through one of those Teenage phases. I wish I had this website, but I did have other friends who were once JW's and we had our own little support group, but in my family I was the first to leave I thought everyone hated me, little did I know a few of my cousins thought I was a hero for having the balls to leave.
No other takers?
Make the fade your own,
J-Dub world, do not be prone,
da da da da da da da
Well, I guess there are no serious takers.
Quirky,
I think the problem is that it takes time to write the whole thing and sometimes people just don't fell like.
I have been able to pull my wife from the Org. My story can be summarized by saying that what worked on her was to show her that she was free to do what she wanted, but that I was calling it quit. Then, after about 3 months the story of child abuse in the org came out, when Barbara Anderson did that NBC dateline program. From that day on, my wife said started to do some research herself and never returned to meetings.
I have also been able to help a non-JW to understand how the mind of a JW works and give him tips on what works and what doesn't work. His mother eventually read CoC and is now out.
What I learned over the years is that being non-confrontational works best most of the time. You have to show happiness after you leave the org. JWs expect your life to go south when you leave. When they don't see that happening and see that your attitude towards JWs is one of disregard for their crazy doctrines, they start to look and feel bad.
JWs have to feel that they're loosing out. Somehow you have to try to show them it is in their interest to get out of there.
The more you oppose them, the more determined and close minded they will become. Be patient, take a long-view strategy. Keep the line of communication open.
My brother was kicked out of Bethel, but told me recently he misses me. This would never have happened if I hadn't change my approach to be less confrontational. I don't know what goes through his mind right now, but his being kicked out of Bethel after almost 20 years there, 41 years old, virgin and no employment, may be just what he needed to start questioning the whole thing.
I can't say that enough: Be patient! Be willing to loose a few arguments, change the subject, show disinterest; bite a little, now blow.
Good luck.
Observador.
I'm trying to help a couple of my family members to get out of the org. Since they are trying to do what is right, I'm using scriptures to help them. I hope that with time, they will see the org for what it truly is: Pharisee's Witnesses.
I've helped dozens to get out that I know about and many more (so I've been told) I don't know about, including a half dozen active active serving elders and pioneers.
:How did you accomplish it?
I was an asshole.
:What tools did you use?
The Bible mostly.
:What helped them to understand?
I verbally smacked them up side of the head, got them really pissed off at me, and THAT got their attention. When they hit the books to prove me wrong, they couldn't. That started the doubt and once that starts they listen more. The more they listen, the clearer things get for them. People I've been the harshest with have become very good friends of mine and they in turn, have helped out spouses, parents and other family members and friends. This technique doesn't work for everyone and sometimes doesn't even work for me, but it's been pretty successful over the years.
:Did this web site have any influence?
Of course it did.
Farkel
I'm fighting fire with fire. Using the Bible to fight the WTS's grip on my family.
I guess I helped get my cousin out. He just loved me and couldnt understand why the JWs would preach such hatred of gays. I never pressured him to decide if they were a cult or not, just wanted him to go with the natural flow and enjoy his life.
