How long must you suffer?

Magick

...for being involved with Jehovah's Witnesses?

2 years?

5 years?

10 years?

15?

20?

30?

When will the suffering end?

The suffering ends when you forgive yourself for being misled, when you can think for yourself, when you can love yourself, when you look for the good in all things, when you finally can laugh at all the pain.

The suffering ends, when you can forgive others who are misled, when you help others think for themselves, when you can love people aside from their beliefs, when you look for good in others.

When you focus on the pain, the pain remains with you. Instead of holding out your hand to be healed, heal others and you will find happiness.

Open up your heart and your arms to do something good for someone else. Every time you think of someone else's needs, your heart heals.

Everyday, remind yourself how wonderful being alive is. Take a walk, when you walk...be present, listen to the wind through the trees, hear the dogs bark and the birds sing, smell the new grass, take in the colors of nature, feel the sunshine. This is life.

Build up and you will be built up, tear down and you will continue to suffer.

Show love everyday, even if it means watering a plant, or caring for your yard, or eating something healthy, or petting your dog or cat...every act of love heals your heart.

These are simple things, that I am just now learning. Yes, I suffered more than 10 years. But, I choose now...not to suffer any more.

I will take charge of my life now, and by simple acts of living, breathing, forgiving, loving, sharing, caring, helping...I will be built up.

This is the wisdom I have found.

"nothing is static, everything is evolving, everything is falling apart"

It is time to evolve.

Surround yourselves with others who are evolving.

Here are some good words to live by:

As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world - that is the myth of the atomic age - as in being able to remake ourselves.

Each one has to find his peace from within. And peace to be real must be unaffected by outside circumstances.

Each one prays to God according to his own light.

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.

Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress.

I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.

I look only to the good qualities of men. Not being faultless myself, I won't presume to probe into the faults of others.

If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.

In a gentle way, you can shake the world.

Nobody can hurt me without my permission.

One's own religion is after all a matter between oneself and one's Maker and no one else's.

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.

Those who know how to think need no teachers.

Where there is love there is life.

You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.

Mohandas Gandhi

Magick

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.

quietlyleaving

wise words

dinah

Magick,

Girl, where have you been??

Great post. We needed that.

Tyrone van leyen

Many wise words Magick. Healing of self is ongoing, and like I always say, it takes as long as it takes. Unfortunately the dynamics that formed some of us, in developmental years, from which we aquired our identitites, remain unchanged. Time can diminish, and heal, but there are things I beleive, many will take to their graves.

When your structure of beleif collapses, what do you turn to? When you have known nothing else and have a family that continues to pressure and make you feel like shit, offering zero affirmation. Trust gets destroyed. Not just in those around you, but in yourself.

It seems the ones who understand best, the dilema of the born ins, are the ones who were themselves born in. There are definately heavy scars.

How can one say, who they are, or what you are supposed to be, when the exploration of youth was sqaundered on someone elses agenda and all that is natural in society was frowned upon?

I had a freind who did ten years in the pen and he said that parts of him will walk those corridors forever.

Indeed, forgiveness is for the strong. A twenty year sentence by the witnesses as a born in, and another 20 in confusion and pain. I have certainly had enough, and wish to claim the next twenty as mine, hopefully applying some of the principles you mentioned and insight from the board.

Incidently, this is off topic, but do you realize the way you have spelled magick in your avatar is the same way Aleister Crowley , the leading Satanist of the 20th century, chose to spell it. He was declared the wickedest man in the world, because of child sacrifice, pedophelia, blood drinking and orgies etc. His motto was, do as thou wilst shall be the whole of the law.

I don't insinuate anything from this, but it is a strange paradox that despite his evil, he was widely read and admired by the Beatles who preached love and gave the world very beatiful music. Just a curious observation though. Probably means nothing. I just found your spelling unusual.

dinah

Hmmmm,

We are all gay!

Okay I am taking my ass to bed

WTWizard

The first part is deciding that the washtowel slaveholdery is not the truth. Until then, you are always going to be guilted into going back, guilted into doing more, guilted into field circus, guilted into skipping the things that make life more enjoyable.

Once you let go of that, the real healing can begin. If you don't let go of that, nothing else is going to matter--you will always be at risk of being guilted and hounded into going back.

StAnn

There is an old saying: "A mother is only as happy as her least happy child."

Although I'm generally happy outside of the WTS and have absolutely no desire to go back, I'm hurt when I watch my son and see all of his struggles. He's still mired down in the pain of being DF'd. He's very angry and enraged and that's a way of life for him. Although I do have real happiness and real joy in my life, it is always accompanied by the sorrow of my son's pain. Also, I have other family members who are still trapped in the WTS, one who just recently came out and is a wreck.

What I want for them is what I have; peace of mind and contentment. But as long as they suffer, I suffer a little alongside of them. They're my family. I love them. Even the ones who totally reject me.

wannabfree

Interesting question. I've seen some linger in the agony for years. I strongly suggest therapy to help sort out the negatives. I was very lucky to have a close friend to talk things through with as it all unraveled before us, we had each other for strength. It's no small thing to realize you've been duped so completely for 25 of your adult prime years. You're embarrassed and lost, along with a host of other mixed emotions.

Also, critically important is the close examination of what "god" looks like to you post WT, because you'll find your self-image depends largely on it. Jehovah is a harsh "god" exacting exclusive devotion from his servants. Feelings of inadequacy will lurk in the psyche until that judgmental eye in the sky image is gone completely. Just food for thought.

Loved Ghandi's words quoted in the previous post.

Hope4Others

Excellent thread and many things to ponder over., It was a very long time for me being in, you can never get that

time of youth back but I love who I am now, these experiences good and bad in life have made me who I am today.

It's no small thing to realize you've been duped so completely for 25 of your adult prime years. You're embarrassed and lost, along with a host of other mixed emotions.

Learning how to deal with those emotions is the best therapy of all.

cheers!

hope4others

How long must you suffer?

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