I need someone to talk to.. (page 3)

BreakingAway

Hello Everyone,
I am really feeling depressed. My relationship with my JW mother is deteriorating rapidly. I can't even look at her sometimes. Yesterday at the gym I just waved and left.
I was raised in the "awful truth" and she will insist she did the best thing for us. I imagine she thought so.
My older sister who has been out for ages now is spouting off that she wants to study again. I know it's a load of BS because she won't change her lifestyle, but I still cautioned her about joining again.
My mother phoned me up the other day and asked me to PROMISE I wouldn't talk "negatively" about the the truth, to let my sister make her own mind up. I agree she should, but I won't stand by and watch a family member that I love get caught up in the JW mess. God knows what she's telling my sister. I my mother that I cannot accept a religion that puts a death sentence on anyone that's not one of them. Of course, she went ballistic, saying that only God can judge, etc., and if you lead your life morally according to the Bible, you should be okay. Then I said, well, then you don't have to be a JW or any religion for that matter as long as you live your life morally by the Bible? Of course she said no, you have to be a JW. My head hurts.
I have a cruise booked with my mother and sister in June. I paid for it already but I don't want to go. I really need your input on this. I feel like crying all the time and have even thought about just not being around anymore. Obviously, my mother can't wait for me to die in Armegeddon and I may lose my sister, the only relative I really connect to. I hate the way this has divided everyone.
I am so depressed.

In my opinion, the best thing right now is to relax as much as possible and to not interfere with your sisters plan.This will help to reduce some of the friction between you and your Mom and will show her that you are abiding by her wishes.You're sister is a big girl and since you guys were raised "in the troof" she's had plenty of time to decide.Besides, right now she's talking about a study, right ? Since you believe it's just BS, don't spin your wheels needlessly and waste your emotional energy.Who knows what will become of it ? Perhaps, when the time is right, your sister will ask you questions.If they want to go on a cruise with you then I think you should.You need to get away and perhaps the more relaxed atmosphere will open a casual discussion.But religious conversation is not really the purpose of the cruise anyway, just go to relax and enjoy yourself. I think you're getting worked up over "what if's " (your sister thinking about studying, "What if she does become a JW ? ", "What if..." ,etc) But you know what ? That's what your Mom is doing to."What if my daughter doesn't become a JW ? " What if she doesn't make it through Armageddon ?" ,etc." If your Mom is open to it... try to concentrate on what you do have in common; even if that just means enjoying each other's company free of religious discussion.If she brings things up during the course of association, and you feel it's not going to be anything productive, then just change the subject.Tell her you don't want it to come between you.That you've abided by her wishes not to interfere with your sisters "study" and that you would appreciate it if she didn't interfere with you not studying.Sounds fair, doesn't it ?

Awakened at Gilead

I would suggest you go...

Remember you don't shun them, they shun you!

So spending qulaity time with them might help.. as Farkel said they may come to the teacher eventually.

A@G

AK - Jeff

Much good advice already given.

Remember this: Your jw mom is under control by a 'higher power'. The Watchtower leads her every move and every thought. It once did the same to many on this forum. It is hard to remember just how controlled we were. There are worse fates than if your sister should elect to go back to the organization. I find it curious that your mother is willing to go on a cruise with her, since she is disfellowshipped. Or did I misunderstand that?

You have an opportunity here to show that you will not push your sister into anything. Tell her that. Tell her that if she wants to know the reasons you are not a Jw, you will tell her when she is ready. Let her make the call. How can Mom disagree with that? You are forcing nothing. Just giving her a chance to find out the 'truth about the truth' when/if she want to.

Just my $2 worth. [Inflation you know}

Jeff

changeling

Hang in ther littlebluek. You and your family are going through a transition. I'ts difficult, but in time everyone will figure out they still love each other.

I think the cruise may be a perfect oportunity for you to show that you are still the same person you always were and that your feelings have not changed.

I say go, enjoy yourself and have fun.

changeling :)

Mr. Majestic

Got a great idea what to do with your ticket. You could find the biggest apostate on JWD who you could give your ticket to and send them off for a weeks cruise with your mum and sister.

Some one like Dawg, who always has something to say (sorry Dawg but its true if your reading this), and after a weeks long intensive study in JWD’ism your mum will come back a new woman….

Or jw facts. He would be good company, though he is a dad now, so not too practical…..but there is not a lot that he doesn’t know about what’s wrong with JW’s……

Just a thought……… = )

DJK

You should go on the cruise. Its a vacation getaway from everything, a chance to have fun and enjoy yourself. It will help the depression.

Make it a point that you all agree not to discuss the JWs or anything related to religion once you set foot on the ship.

Hortensia

If you don't want to go, don't go. Tell your mother and sister the truth - you just don't want to be cooped up with them in a cabin listening to them discuss religion. If you say it pleasantly but firmly, they might just promise to lay off and you could go and have fun. But I think you know your mother and sister better than we do, and if your gut feeling is that it will be a week in hell, then don't put yourself through it!

LouBelle

Hey LilBlue - chin up girl - please don't let this cult get you down!!! I know easier said than done. But you are worth staying around. There is too much living to be done, to give up on this world.

Would your sister read any books/information that discuss the JWs - get onto the Watching the Tower site (Randy runs it) and download some stuff to give to her.

When it comes to your mom, perhaps don't talk about the "truth" if it upsets you so much.

mouthy

For once I will "shut my mouth" There has been given much good advice here. My only suggestion is to pray about your discission

Good luck......

I need someone to talk to..

Quirky1