JunctionGuy, good luck in your journey. I truly hope you can find your way clear to purge your heart of the anger and bitterness you have filled it with. I bear you no ill tidings, so I would sincerely recommend that you do not approach Focus on the Family or the ExGay group. They have an agenda to use you as some example of what their religion can do. Part of their therapy is what is called 'reparative treatment', which means they hook electrodes up to your genitals, then show you porn images. Every time a gay porn scene is shown, they send electrical shock to your 'boys' and cause you pain. They hope that by electrocuting your nuts and stick that you will somehow become straight.
As long as you are committed to getting help, I would suggest someone that doesn't have a religious agenda in mind. One who's sole job is simply to help you, not force you into some preordained 'cure'. I hope you can find some modicum of happiness in the coming weeks and months. I was stunned when you admitted that the last time you were truly happy was in 1995. Life is too short to go 13 years in between good day / happiness.
Cheers!
Jay