***** Name a reason people wont make it through Armegeddon *****

by FlyingHighNow 80 Replies latest jw friends

  • chickpea
    chickpea
    casper: Showing up at the Kingdom Hall once a year for the Memorial...

    NOT showing up at the KH once a year for the Memorial

  • BONEZZ
    BONEZZ

    It's gotta be a toss-up between....

    Owning a 2-door car or....

    saying "Bless You" after a sneeze.

    -BONEZZ

  • LovesDubs
    LovesDubs

    1. You speak up and ask an elder why Sister Faithful said to a person at the door that "no we dont believe we know who is going to be in Paradise and that only Jehovah knows" when our literature says if they arent a baptized JW in good standing they WONT be there?

    2. Sleeping with the son of an annointed one and then telling on him and getting his ass and 45 of his co-conspirators...DFd.

    3. Being a pedophile and being so stupid that you got caught and now the elders have to DF you to save face in the papers. If the victim hadnt told the police you could have just been reassigned to another congregation and they could have been rid of you and you could have continued out in service and in good standing and thus....been able to go to Paradise. Idiot

    4. Getting candy out of a snack machine at a District Convention site instead of putting that money into the contribution box.

    5. Being 38 and married and having sex with the 18 year old pioneer you have been so kind as to put up in your house for the summer and getting caught at the hotel when you were supposed to be at pioneer school. Tsk.

    6. Having an affair with the married elder you went to to council you on the problems you were having in your marriage....and getting caught.

    7. Feeding your dog dog food with blood in it.

    8. Not telling the elder FATHER of the son in #2 above WHY his perverted son was DFd even when he threatens you and calls you 24-7 about lacking forgiveness and humility and even though he shows up at the hall every time you are called there to testify again and again against his kid.

    9. Getting your traffic tickets fixed and bragging to your JW friends about it

    10. Owning vanity plates ....on a red hot, pop top two seater sports car with a Fuzz Buster on the dash.

    11. Parking in handicapped spots because "you dont have any handicapped people in your congregation and so why waste the space?"

    12 Running a ring of JWs across the country online who are into S&M and laughing because nobody has a clue at the hall.

    .....god I have to stop lol!

  • Awakened at Gilead
    Awakened at Gilead

    Using the internet for any site besides www.watchtower.org . We are all gonna die....

    (please don't click on the link unless you want to puke)

    A@G

  • VoidEater
    VoidEater

    Listening to The Age of Aqaurius

  • jamiebowers
    jamiebowers

    1. Reporting a jw pedophile to the police and fellow congregants.

    2. Refusing to remain married to an abusive jw husband.

  • Fadeout
    Fadeout

    Armageddon coming an hour before the announcement is read to the congregation that you're being reinstated.

  • Wordly Andre
    Wordly Andre

    Talking to me

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow
    12 Running a ring of JWs across the country online who are into S&M and laughing because nobody has a clue at the hall.

    Is this a true story?

    Waiting too long between lawn mowing days and of course forgetting to edge your driveway or repaint your peeling house.

  • loosie
    loosie

    Loves dubs, Is all of that true? Or are you just making us laugh. Because it worked. But I am just curious.

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