Most of us who were in the Jehovah's Witnesses for some time realize that for years the Watchtower society had always discouraged it's rank and file members from going to see therapists, or professional counselors if they had depression, or serious chemical depression. The Watchtower society always told us to go out in service more, do more personal study, be more regular at meetings - and essentially we would lose our depression , and everything would fall right back into place. The old, " don't worry, be happy " cliche.
But as many found out- doing those things only made the depression worse- as more and more and more was expected of them , thus causing even more stress and depression ! And it didn't help that the elders who gave this counsel were totally ignorant of chemical depression, or imbalance in individuals who really needed medication to help them with their depression.
A perfect example of this in my family was in the early 1970's my brother in law was acting strangely , and the elders in his congregation were suspicious . He and my sister could not go overseas to their Gilead assignment as he had depression, and was suffering from hallucinations. He would go to brothers and sisters houses and claim he could walk through walls, he suddenly professed to be of the anointed , etc. The idiot elders in his congregation wanted to bring him up before a judicial committee thinking he was demonized because of wanting to walk through walls. Mercifully, we had a family friend ( a witness ) who worked in a psychiatric ward as an intern, and my family checked my brother in law in there to get tested. He was missing the trace element lithium - and once he started receiving that medication , he was back to normal again.
But the stress that was caused by ignorant men pre-judging him as possessed by demons was inexcusable ! So my question to you folks is - How were you treated in the witness organization if you had depression ? Were you mistreated as well ? Have you found it a lot less stressful not having the heavy burdens put on you anymore- now that you are free and exited from the Jehovah's Witness cult ? For the sake of newbies- what did some of you do to overcome depression after exiting the witnesses ? I look forward to your experiences. Perhaps many of us have gone through this - and sharing this information, or experiences we have had will help others see that they are not alone in having gone through these things ! Peace out to all, Mr. Flipper
How Were You Treated as a Jehovah's Witness if You Had Depression ?
by flipper 49 Replies latest jw friends
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flipper
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Bumble Bee
I was so depressed and overburdened as a JW. My parents both had health problems that requied alot of my time, and one of the first things that went was meetings - I just couldn't keep up with all the demands placed on me, do more in the cong, please my husband, work full time, take care of both my parents, it was driving me to have suicidal thoughts. There were times I'd be driving and think about crossing the centre line and drive into oncoming traffic, just to make the pressure stop, that was the only way I could see out. I'd take the dogs with me in the car whenever possible because I knew I wouldn't do that if they were in the car with me. The elders told me to not help my sick parents on meeting nights, and that if I didn't go to the KH, that I'd end up divorced. What ever happend to the scripture that said "my load is light"?? The only thing the elders did for me was make me feel worse for not going to the KH or in service. There was no help or support whatsoever.
Once I stopped for good, and found out the "truth about the truth" I felt soooo much better health wise. Not to say I don't have my down periods over things that are happening in my life, but I no longer feel like driving into oncoming traffic.
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dwtnphotog
Wow, this one really hits close to home! I have dealt with depression since I was 16, almost 23 years now. I was told I was "faking" being sick so i didn't have to do things! Even my parents didn't realize how crippling depression can be. I felt drained, my muscles ached and no matter how bad i felt I had to go out every Saturday and attend every meeting. Why? Because if I was not there it would make my father look bad! His words not mine. Unfortunately, being constantly told that you are a sinner and you'll never live up to perfect standards, just makes it all worse. I did my best to be the best little JW I could be. I pioneered for 16 years. I was the fall back guy for any cancellations in the meeting schedule! I usually gave a last minute talk every week. I was doing public talks at least twice a month since i was one of the few that would do them on such short notice! And all that time, I was horribly miserable. I grew up hating myself. I was the one that was wrong. My feelings for the same sex made my depression unbearable! I tried to kill myself when I was only 17. Fortunately I didn't. In trying to make everyone but myself happy, I married. I knew it was the wrong decision when I did it. But being gay was completely out of the question! But I knew I was. I had been attracted to men since I was 5 or even earlier. After my mother passed away and the abuse from my father came out the stress and depression was completely overwhelming! I was taken to the hospital and kept under observation so I didn't hurt myself in any way. I was an elder, regular pioneer, book study conductor, literature servant, did the congregation accounts, the TMS conductor and yet not one person came to visit me in the hospital. How can you not become more fragile over that? That was pretty much the last straw. I didn't go back. I decided that if I was ever going to be happy, I had to do something for myself. Something that didn't make me live life differently that I felt on the inside. Now, since that time, I have been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and depression. Now that I am on medication I am doing SO much better. Joining this board and meeting all of you has brought up some of my PTSD symptoms but i know this is all part of the healing process. Soon I will be wonderful again. Sorry for the ramble!
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oompa
Since when are there depressed JW's?????????????????..........................................oompa
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dwtnphotog
Only when we aren't studying or praying enough. Or going out in service enough or attending enough meetings, etc. etc
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erandir
I was basically left alone. If I declined shepherding calls, there was no problem.
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flipper
Thanks for your replies- I'll reply individually. Good points by you all.
BUMBLE BEE- Wow! You really had a load to deal with didn't you ? I totally understand about all the demands - it's like between marriage , meetings, service, and full time work it was like tightening the screw too tightly where the threads might strip ! And the a-hole elders were always there to make us feel guilty about not doing enough ! How ironic ! We thought we were doing too much - and they were saying not enough! Talk about fellow feeling ! Jeez. I'm glad you escaped the suicidal thoughts from before and I agree - when we escape the witnesses the pressure really lessens on us. I hope you are doing O.K. now. Take care.
PAUL- I am truly sorry you went through the suffering and things you experienced. To have a dad mistreat you as he did - totally deflates your self confidence . I know a little of what you went through having come from a high profile witness family with high expectations for me as well . My dad has been a elder since 1955, brother was from Bethel, elder since 1972. So I had a lot to live up to. In time I refused. I'm glad you got out of the witnesses friend and have help for your PSTD with medication. I will send you a PM , so look for it !
OOMPA- You are a funny guy buddy ! Ha! HA! Witnesses depressed ? Nah ! LOL! Peace out, Mr. Flipper -
carla
As a ubm who was rather depressed and distressed to say the least that her husband just joined a dangerous and deadly cult all I can say is his attitude was, hmm, how shall I sum this up? I know! tough shit. yeah, that about sums it up and yes I believe it came directly from the elders because pre jw life he would have been concerned that he was distressing his wife and children so.
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White Dove
My brother, still in, is suicidally depressed and in and out of hospitals for it. Bipolar, I think it is, although I've never seen him manic.
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wha happened?
like I wasn't involved enough i service etc. Other than hand me a WT they would barely acknowledge it