They need two witnesses of your adultery.
1. Get a camera.
2. Get a mirror.
3. Get a hard-on.
4. Penetrate your lover doggy style.
5. Place mirror on the ground/bed at such and angle that you can see your face.
6. Take a picture of your cock penetrating your lover, with your face in the mirror also in the picture. Have an "ooh yeaH" look on your face.
7. VERY IMPORTANT. Make two copies of the photo and send them to at least two active witnesses. The more the merrier. They need two witnesses to your crime or it won't stick.
8. Come back to JWD and tell the story of the century/become famous/.sign autographs etc.
Good luck We're rooting for ya!