IF I did the right thing why do I feel so bad?

by IndependantThinker 10 Replies latest jw friends

  • IndependantThinker

    I noticed a few minutes ago 2 sisters are on the block over from me. I have told them over the past year to put me down on the do not call on list. I figure it's going to ignored, so I printed out the 1981 BOE British Letter about child molestation and protection of elders and the amended page on that subject from the Flock book (the one with the CO's handwrittten notes) and stuck it in the handle of my screen door.

    I'm not even sure if they will make it to me, but I really wanted to hand it to them and I'm sure even though it has the WT logo on it that it will end up thrown in my front yard if they even take it. I'm not gonna answer the door if they come though I can't deal with it anymore.

    Why do I feel so bad for that?

  • parakeet

    "Why do I feel so bad for that?"

  • nicolaou
    Why do I feel so bad for that?

    Because you're acting against years of conditioning. All the best I.T

  • wings

    Not that this is related, but the first time I celebrated a birthday I felt like I needed to go to jail. I think for all of us, it is a process. Now I am a celebrating machine.

    Let us know if they pick up the letter. Good job.


  • Quirky1

    Don't feel guilty. You feel that way from all the years of being programmed to feel guilty. Use this as an expression of what you know and beleive and break free from the WTBTS mindset.

    I am sure you can find more letters to post outside. Get a yard sign, you know the ones that sets in your front yard when selling a house that hold information on the house being presented. Just put the words "Free" on it and everyone will be curious to see what is free. You know the witnesses always want something for free!


  • Layla33
    Because you're acting against years of conditioning.

    I couldn't have said it better. People go through various emotions, it's okay, you are human. Confrontation is not an easy thing, and even sometimes when you are doing the right thing, you may feel bad about it inside, but you will be fine. You are human.

  • IndependantThinker

    I still feel like the lil kid who has to hide behind cloak and shadow - how I so want to stand up and be defiant, I did that when I was younger and had the bravery of youth - instead I put that on my front door, and close the curtains.

    After all they've been told over and over do not call back - last few times I openly wore my pentagram and showed them my old publishers and blood card. Still I'm not disfellowshipped. I have not written a letter of disassociation, cause I still hold true the core values and dearly love my Godd/ess and Thier son.

    I feel as one of the ones who "likes to get thier ears tickled", even though I know my heart and it's really not that.

    I was annointed in 1984, though talked out of it by the elders. My mother, on the same day I was going to tell her, told me that she was annointed and I thought well if she is, how can I be? And how can someone be that condones child molestation and wife beating be annointed?

    Sorry to go into that stuff - times like this I doubt everything.

  • LovesDubs

    I think you feel bad because you know its not nice to tease mentally retarded ones. :)

  • jamiebowers

    It's probably due to two things: 1. condiitoning and 2. it can be painful to reveal the real truth to the deluded. Think how much you are taking away from them if the come to believe the real truth.

    The only thing that changed my mind about revealing the real truth to deluded ones is the child molestation issue. If anyone on this planet deserves consideration, it is the victims who were molested and thrown out of the organization for their trouble. Stop feeling bad and start thinking about just how wicked the WTB&TS is.

  • IndependantThinker

    Well, just home from work. They had stopped field service by the time I had to leave for work. I guess they'd done thier duty until lunch and quit. On the chance they were still out I took the info with me on my walk hoping to meet them on the street so I could hand it to them. That didn't happen this time, but who knows, maybe next time.

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