by ashitaka 19 Replies latest jw friends
Utop...me too...a friend of mine said it best, "sometimes I just want to sing a nice bible song, read some scriptures, and hopefully get a biblical sermon, while sitting with semi-religious people, even if they are ignorant."
I've visited several times since we left two years ago, and it was just boring for me, but it was nice being in a church..you know what I mean? It just reminded me of the few good times I had there, and then I left, no better or worse than I had come in.
ashi
I'm still so mad I could just spit.
you don't
I thought you might find this interesting regarding the emotions that we all go through when losing an important person/thing in our lives. I put "stages of grief" into a search engine and this was the first of 4,370 web matches that came up:
* http://www.aomc.org/HOD2/general/stress-THE-3.html
Just to give a list of the 5 basic steps during the grieving process:
Five Stages Of Grief
1. Denial and Isolation.
At first, we tend to deny the loss has taken place, and may withdraw from our usual social contacts. This stage may last a few moments, or longer.
2. Anger.
The grieving person may then be furious: at the person who inflicted the hurt (even if she's dead), or at the world, for letting it happen. He may be angry with himself for letting the event take place, even if, realistically, nothing could have stopped it.
(The problem here is that the "Society" is not sorry for anything inflicted upon us.)
3. Bargaining.
Now the grieving person may make bargains with God, asking, "If I do this, will you take away the loss?"
4. Depression.
The person feels numb, although anger and sadness may remain underneath.
5. Acceptance.
This is when the anger, sadness and mourning have tapered off. The person simply accepts the reality of the loss.
What finally made me give up on the anger (well, for the most part. LOL) was the thought that I had one day. In my mind I likened the hating of others to a person taking poison themselves and wondering why the person we hate doesn't die. I realised then that my anger was only hurting me, not them.
I takes time. When life starts to get more sane and you start to feel more in control, you'll start to pay no attention to the opinions of people who are misled or for whom you have no respect.
Hang in there. It's great to be free!
Seize the day, and put the least possible trust in tomorrow. - Horace
I have learned to live each day as it comes and not to borrow trouble by dreading tomorrow. - Dorothy Dix
Seeing the kids happy and doing well makes up for any amount of adverse treatment we might get.
ISP
for me, immersing myself into school and my "worldly" friends helped. also i'm a bookworm so i read a lot, just to let my mind go so i wouldn't have to think about it. i don't think i was ever really angry, more just sad. i cried a lot about losing my family...thank god mom and dad decided they couldn't shun me.
love
harmony
Most people think, Great God will come from the skies, Take away everything And make everybody feel high. But if you know what life is worth, You will look for yours on earth: And now you see the light, You stand up for your rights.~~Bob Marley
The one thing that helped me get past my anger was a book titled Change Your Conversations, Change Your Life"
I always thought talking about things would make things better. So, I talked to anyone who would listen and the more I talked, the more upset I would get. It was like it would bring everything back to the surface. The book talks about exactly that. If you talk about things that make you feel good, then you are going to feel good. If you continue to talk about the things that upset you, then you are going to continue to be just that...upset. The same would come into play in regards to our thoughts...think bad thoughts, feel bad.
Anyway, that is what worked for me. I am sure everyone handles things differently....just find something that works for you and stick with it. It if means getting out and making new friends, or going to school then just set your mind to do it.
Having this place to come to has been a good outlet also...just to know your not alone.
Michelle
You guys- all of you, the sad, happy, angry, goofy,and belligerent ones. The hopeful, and confused, and helpful ones. You have been my friends , my addiction and my strength. You have given me different points of view to agree and disagree with and I have treasured them all. You helped me work through the rush of conflicting emotions and helped me to realize that I am not alone when the world seemed most empty. Your encouragement has at times kept me from going over the edge and the funny moments have had me nearly laughing myself to death. I have a supportive (non jw) family and boyfriend, but having those of you who understood has been the greatest help of all. Really if it wasn't for all of you I could not even appreciate the wonderful people in my life, but would instead be stuck in my former judgemental and paranoid world. I am a relatively new poster but have spent countless hours as a grateful lurker gaining strength to find my voice, I am no longer afraid. Thank you all
Music. I started playing guitar when I was 12 and during the darkest times that is the only thing that kept me going. I think any hobby or aspiration that allows you to have a catharic experience can help keep your sanity.Writing and playing music was that for me and the Watchtower could not take it away.Now with all that was sacrificed to the WTS I at least have one thing that I excell at.
