NEED IMMEDIATE HELP FROM anyone who has military knowledge

by Tatiana 29 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  chickpea

  if you feel compelled to become involved, write your legislators and let your son navigate the maze of military protocol without your intervention...... i know it is tough to see your child in such a circumstance but he has resources he is not aware of yet.... let him find them for himself

  when i was serving in the military ( as a combat medical specialist with an ambulance company attached to a mobile surgical unit in the 88th ARCOM,) i saw that "rank and file" in all its glory.....the notion of universal nobility in the ranks is a joke! racists, thieves, domestic abusers, liars, substance abusers.......... the entire cross section of society' losers and heroes and everything in between.... the same as everywhere else, corporate, hospitals, schools

  check out preverted justice website sometime to see how many "service members" are being busted for pedophilia....
• 

  reneeisorym

  I have a friend that was in the military for years and years -- I asked him and here is what he said:

  He alone must report the incident. You as mom can't get involved especially if your son doesn't want to go to the authorities about it.

  He said that it may be beneficial to go to his commanding officer about it and it may not be. It depends on if he knows exactly the 10 who did it or not. And it depends on if he thinks making a report will make it harder or easier on him. He said that he needs to remember that he may be in war with these guys one day and he needs to do what he can to have good relations with them if he can. Your son needs to do what he can to make things easy for him in the future.

  I know it must be hard to see your son like this. I hope you all come up with the perfect solution.

  Renee
• 

  buffalosrfree

  Indo-dude and bigmouth both have good advice., I for one am immediately suspect of this incident, I had participated in many preliminary investigations of wrong doing while in the service. Things are not always what the seem at first, the first thing I would question is the 10 guy thing, he doesn't look busted up enough to have had "10" guys beating the hell out of him, probably just one possibly two. He blames them for starting it, who knows, maybe they did or he did. As for you thinking you are going to go there and raise hell, they will just shut you out, you aren't apart of the process. And yes if he was beaten or just in a fight, there will be a report issued on it, a preliminary investigation done if any wrong doing is alleged and the matter settled with an Article 15 or higher depending on the circumstances. Like I mention I have been apart of many of these and one who gets beaten isn't above embelshing what happened to make themselves look better than what actually is. Someone mentioned him getting a JAG officer involved. He isn't the chain of command a JAG won't get involved unles there has been a crime commited and then only if it reaches courtmartial standards. This isn't TV the Military Police do the investigations or the CID (Criminal Investigation Division) not the JAG Department.
• 

  reneeisorym

  I for one am immediately suspect of this incident, I had participated in many preliminary investigations of wrong doing while in the service. Things are not always what the seem at first, the first thing I would question is the 10 guy thing, he doesn't look busted up enough to have had "10" guys beating the hell out of him, probably just one possibly two. He blames them for starting it, who knows, maybe they did or he did.

  I think you may need to consider that he just got in a fight and he doesn't want you to think badly of him. You are his mom after all and he probably wants you think highly of him. You know your son better than any of us do. But I bet at some point when he was little he was playing with a friend and they both came in crying and you had to sort out what happened. I would also suspect that perhaps a guy threw a can at your son and when he threw it back it hit him in the face and it started a fight. .. Anything like that can escalate when drinking is involved.
• 

  hillbilly

  yea...beer and testoterone are never a good mix. both are found in great abundance on military installations chock full of 19 year old boys.

  The funniest fights I ever saw were Marines (these kids were right out of basic) trying to pick up college girls in town. They were always suprised that some "4-F faggot, Mutherf&k#r" of a college boy could clean up the floor with them...uniform and all. They were always suprised that a hefty white kid like me could "convince" them into a car for the trip home.

  After they had been around awhile those Marines and Sailors found out they would be better off leaving with us... We would turn em loose (unless they were being charged)...If the Shore Patrol got em first they had a LONG ride home.

  Hill
• 

  Layla33

  I have a friend that was in the military for years and years -- I asked him and here is what he said:

  He alone must report the incident. You as mom can't get involved especially if your son doesn't want to go to the authorities about it.

  He said that it may be beneficial to go to his commanding officer about it and it may not be. It depends on if he knows exactly the 10 who did it or not. And it depends on if he thinks making a report will make it harder or easier on him. He said that he needs to remember that he may be in war with these guys one day and he needs to do what he can to have good relations with them if he can. Your son needs to do what he can to make things easy for him in the future.

  I know it must be hard to see your son like this. I hope you all come up with the perfect solution.

  Renee

  I agree, I was going to ask my best male friend that is an officer in the Air Force, but this is good advice. I have a few friends in the military, if anything else goes down, I will be happy to offer assistance.
• 

  BurnTheShips

  I think you may need to consider that he just got in a fight and he doesn't want you to think badly of him. You are his mom after all and he probably wants you think highly of him.

  There's no shame in getting your ass whooped in a fight. Every dog has its day. Just get some good licks in. I lost my share as a teen and won a few.

  Burn
• 

  AGuest

  May you have peace. Truly. I hope what I am about to share doesn't offend, but it will be the truth:

  First, contrary to the false teaching of the WTBTS, participating in military service is not wrong. John the Baptist, of whom Christ himself said "Among those born of women there has not been raised up greater than John the Baptist..." showed this when he addressed some in military service. In answer to their question as to what they should do in order to "produce fruits that befit repentance," he did not tell them to leave the service. Instead, he told them, "Do not harass anybody or accuse anybody falsely, but be satisfied with your provisions." (Luke 3:14) I give you that so that if your conscience is troubled because you beloved son IS in military service... and I am not saying that it is... you can know that it need not be. At least, not with regard to his enlistment and participation, per se.

  There is more, however, and this is the rub: as my Lord also said, "He that lives by the sword... will die by the sword." What does that mean? Obviously, it is not a definite - many have participated in military service and not died as a result. What he meant is that anyone who wishes to live by the sword... assumes the RISKS that come with doing so. In your son's case, he chose to be a part of an institution whose primary purpose is to fight. True, the fight is supposed to be against the country's "enemies"... but it can and does very often turn out to be various sub-fights... between perceived sub-"enemies". And, as someone pointed out, there is a LOT of testosterone on a military installation... which very often needs some kind of outlet. That outlet usually comes in the form of lots of sex... or, alternatively, lots of fighting.

  Your son chose to be a soldier... i.e., a fighter. And so, he got in a fight. Does it matter that it was with one person or 10? Does it matter that it was here... or there? If he can't take 10 guys jumping on him here, how in the world is he going to be able to take 10... if not more... capturing and/or maybe even torturing him "over there"?

  He's young... and your "momminess" is coming out, as well it should. But... he made a choice. Your BEST "mommy" move now... is to let him live with that choice... as well as be allowed to make future choices, including what, if anything, to do about this incident. Whatever the choice, however, it should not involve you. Because if you get involved and/or make the choice for him he may never learn to make GOOD choices... on his own... which he needs to learn to do.

  So, go ahead: Grieve. Scream. Rant. Cuss. Cry. Throw stuff. That part's for you, and it's okay. Tell your son you love him and how sorry you are that this happened to him. That part's for him, and it's okay, too. Then... tell him that he made a choice, supposedly as a man... and now has to decide how to handle that choice... as a man. Without you. That part... is also for him... and it's also okay.

  I bid you the greatest of peace... and the strength to be a "man"...for your son. 'Cause he needs that... and NOT a "mommy"... from you, right now.

  Your servant and a slave of Christ,

  SA
• 

  Tatiana

  Thank you guys for all the advice. I didn't read this board until now. Sorry.

  Believe me when I say I know my son, and I know there are two sides to everything. I know he was drinking too, but he was alone and going to see a friend.

  I have a friend who's been in the Army for a long time and is an EO (Equal Opportunity) rep on base. He told me this....

  I would stop short of calling it a racially motivated attack since the 10 had been sitting around drinking, but it would definitely bear looking into because of the gang issues that have surrounded Ft. Hood in the last few years.

  As a parent, the first person you should contact is your son's company/unit commander. If he get a bit tightlipped, or tries to put you off in any way, then immediately request to speak to either the Battalion Commander or Command Sergeant Major....and keep on climbing the chain of command (brigade commander/CSM, division and so on) until they tell you the truth. Don't let them hit you with the vague "we're looking into it"...hold their feet to the fire and MAKE them put you on the contact list. I would suggest calling every 2 or 3 days to get the info you deserve to have...and also call the post hospital to make sure that they're following up on your son....I hate to even suggest that glossing over the facts is a possibility, but I can tell you from experience that they will downplay it as "boys being boys" and having too much to drink...DON'T LET THEM!! If all else fails (I maintain my plausible deniability on this piece of advice) and they try to blow smoke up your ass, call your congressman.....trust me, THAT will light a fire under some asses with the quickness...
  
  I can get fried for saying a lot of what I say out there...but as I said, I'm an EO rep and I would definitely try to get either their unit/post EO involved or submit a complaint to the Inspector General (IG) as soon as possible because your son's unit is probably gonna get into damage control mode real quick like.
  
  I am so very embarrassed for the behavior of the troops involved in this...please believe that even though we have some idiots in the ranks of all shades and races, the great majority of us do represent what most folks consider the right way to be....please let me know if you need any other advice...and please pass my apologies as a Senior NCO to your son.

  So, I did call and spoke to his 1st Sgt. who was very nice. I agree with my friend about the racial thing. I was just so angry I was looking for some/any reason for it. My son had already filed a report on his own, and was writing another statement as to what happened when I called him. Another 1st Sgt was telling me they were definitely investigating. So, he made the decision to report and go forward. I basically just asked to be called and told what was happening.

  I was given another # to call and spoke to a female Sgt who was very rude. She gave me a totally different story from the other Sgt. She told me no one should have spoken to me, for me not to call back, and the Army would handle it. I asked for her superior, who was extremely nice, apologized, and I'm waiting for a call back from him. I also called Darnell Medical on base to make sure he's ok. His jaw isn't fractured, thank goodness, and the swelling is going down.

  Yes, I calmed down a bit today, and yes, I know he is a man now. Yes, he made the decision to join the Army. But he didn't sign up to get jumped like that by his own "brothers in arms." How can these soldiers be trusted to save your life in the field when they beat the hell out of you at home?" I don't understand it. I never will.

  AGuest, I am a pacifist, so I abhor any and all violence. Not because of being a former witness, but because it's wrong, IMO So, you can understand how hard it was for me to come to grips with his choice, but I did, and I will love him no matter what. This kind of violence is just beyond me.

  I know my son probably embellished some, but there were witness statements too. So, hopefully, I will find out what actually happened. This has taken a toll on me, and I am exhausted. Again, thank you all. I've never been through something like this, and I guess you live and learn, right?
• 

  hillbilly

  Yes, he made the decision to join the Army. But he didn't sign up to get jumped like that by his own "brothers in arms." How can these soldiers be trusted to save your life in the field when they beat the hell out of you at home?" I don't understand it. I never will.

  That's the funny thing about men or people who count on each other. I have seen crap like this in police dept., firehouses, electric company warehouses. Guys will beat the crap outta each other on Saturday in a bar and "take a bullet for a brother" the next day.

  Monitor the situation ...but let your son handle this. I was impressed with your last post...."momma bear" kicks in for some women... and this is the time to resist that instinct . I am impressed in how you are gonna handle this.

  Hill