Did being a JW lady give you low self esteem because of dating?

by TreadClimberMaster 13 Replies latest social relationships

  • TreadClimberMaster

    I remember the years that I was a witness and dating was so stressful! I really never dated, because I truly believed that dating was reserved for marriage purposes only. I used to think I could never attain or hope to attain to the level of perfection that certain "brothers" wanted. I had low self-esteem, felt ugly and undesirable and all because I could not find a JW husband. Also, if anyone knew you were a single sister they automatically assumed you were desperate for the attention of any brother and would therefore look down upon you. I could go on, but it really pisses me off when I think about how I tore myself up over complete losers...you know the theocratic ones that every sister dreams of, that brother who works part-time at Costco stocking shelves...YUCK!

  • BabaYaga


    Hello and welcome, Tread Climber!!!


  • Casper

    Welcome Tread...

    I don't remember feelings of low self-esteem as a witness in the dating area, as I met an MS brother and got married within a year of baptism..

    But, I do remember other sisters in the same situation that you describe. I am sorry you had to experience such, to the point of feeling so down on yourself.

    Hopefully you realise by now. that it was just JW thinking, and in no way a measure of your true worth.

    I hope you stay around and tell us more about yourself.


  • lisavegas420

    I didn't date brothers either. Well there was this one guy I met at an assembly, but before our date, the elders in his congo had checked me out and warned him not to date me.

    whatever....I'd probably rocked his world anyway.


  • LouBelle

    Hi Tread: The problem we had here is that there were 7 single sisters for every single brother, so of course they felt they were gods' gift to women, so they could really pick and choose. They used to go for all the uber beautiful, skinny, blondes (no offence) but us a bit bigger girls got no loving.

    I never went out with any brothers. I briefly saw someone that was interested in studying, but well he was too exciting and I knew if I didn't call it off I'd sleep with him.

  • Layla33

    It didn't give me a low self esteem, but I was labeled "boy crazy" because I had male friends and I loved looking at the "boys". I can't help it I have four brothers, I was always around them, but being labeled such was hard at times because I was just normal, but no one wants to even discuss such things and I was harmless, like girls that look at boy magazine or something.

  • TreadClimberMaster

    Hello All! I guess it just always pissed me off the way the society is so geared toward men. It always seemed like men could get away with murder, when a sister would be labeled and judged for the slightest offense or perceived offense. I realized that it was a waste of my time in my mid-twenties and married a good wordly man. He's pretty cute too!

  • *Incubus

    Welcome!I didnt really find them all that attractive and thought all the dubs were a bunch of idiots.Therefore I didnt take the submissive role too seriously.

  • White Dove
    White Dove

    Oh yeah, I totally relate to this! I was such a loser and the most undesirable of all the sisters in the hall. I Definately had self-esteem/concept issues. I truly believed that everyone hated me and was only nice to me because they had to be. Now, I am too busy in college to care about anything but my education and getting a good career started. I'm focusing on myself and not those real losers, for once. First, improve myself. Second, maybe find a partner(s).

  • aSphereisnotaCircle

    Being a JW gave me low self esteem, regardless of the dating arena.

    However, once I quit being a JW, I was really surprised to see how respectfully I was treated by worldly men.

    That's not what I was taught growing up, worldly men are suppose to be evil and only want to use you.

    JW men treat women like shit and don't even know it.

Share this