What specific ways were you pressured by family/ elders to be a perfect JW?

by cognac 21 Replies latest jw friends

  • megaflower

    When my son turned 18 and was still not baptized they told us to kick him out of the house. We told them no and to mind your business. That did not go over well with the elders.

  • JimmyPage

    Oh God let me count the ways. Cut your hair. Don't go to worldly parties. Don't date worldly girls. Study hard in school but don't go to college. Don't celebrate holidays or salute the flag. Deny your desires for a career in rock music because you might have to play gigs in bars. The list is endless.

  • The Last Nephilim
    The Last Nephilim

    After my JW- lifer ex divorced me I was given detailed instructions on how to find my next wife (volunteer for everything, especially at conventions and assemblies, pioneer, get a MS appointment, don't look for the ones "walking" the convention arena- look for the ones volunteering, etc...). My ex is reinstated now and is trying to take all the credit for our kids' spiritual upbringing (croc o' sh!t), so she's bribing my daughter to answer at the meetings (buys her ice cream, Webkins, etc...). Always told that pioneering is the only "right way" to serve Jehovah. Told that I can't use a riding mower to cut the grass at the KH because it's inferior to a push mower (more even cut lawn?) and Jehovah deserves the best. Told not to use light bulbs in the KH that have a "yellow" glow even though they are less expensive. There's more but I'm getting sick thinking of them. BTW, 90% of them came from the PO himself- such a "perfectionist" when it comes to everyone else, but doesn't hold himself to the same standards...

  • Casper

    You have to set a good example, for the kids, for the neighbors....etc... Must NOT stumble anyone... you will be blood guilty.

    This week MIL says to me "I entrusted you with my daughters spirituality... I'll be very unhappy if she and the grand-kids aren't with me in paradise."

    Wow, Missinglink... that was brutal... Cas

  • *Incubus

    I was constantly being counseled about being more submissive.I was warned that "nice brothers" wouldnt find me to be a "spiritual woman".This same elder suggested I not wear such high heels cuz at 5'11" I didnt need them.I was only "scaring the nice brothers away".

  • VoidEater

    Keep quiet about the elders' kids drinking and doping and screwing around - to mention it, even to another elder, would be spreading gossip.

  • Casper
    This same elder suggested I not wear such high heels cuz at 5'11" I didnt need them.I was only "scaring the nice brothers away


    you've got to be kidding... that is ridiculous. I hope you told him what you thought about his advice...


  • flipper

    COGNAC- I was told to take back a verbally abusive, drug abusing worldly wife who had left me to pursue methamphetamine addiction. The elders said, " It's a good thing she wants to get back with you after leaving you ! " I said, " Oh! Really ? " The elders told me , " Just have your teenage daughters visit you at some random , neutral location so they don't have to deal with your wife at your home ! " I told them to essentially shove their " counsel " where the sun doesn't shine , then said to them, " Do you think I am going to make allowances for a drug addicted wife - and make my teenage daughters grovel for their dad's affection in some neutral place , and not visit me in my home ? Where did you get your counseling credentials again ? " Even as I write this I feel like driving 90 miles to where these elders live ; and beat the $hit out of them ! O.K. I feel better now

  • *Incubus

    Casper-I wasnt considered "unsubmissive" for a reason!I said something along the lines of "Its a good thing Im not interested in a nice brother,since they apparently suffer from Napoleon complex".Ole Gary Hawk was AGHAST.

  • reficul

    I was never allowed to have WORLDLY friends, I didn't got to my prom, I didnt get to communicate with others or the world unless they were witnesses. No birthdays, no girlfriends, no encouragement to go to college. Can say dam ohhh I never went to any of my high school football game we had 3 congregations and the elder of one of the others always made it to where his congregation was off on fridays and could go to the foot ball games. I have much more I got babtized on the 3rd try the only reason is because the elder saying no died so no one could say no.

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