I am sure this topic has been covered but I was thinking about it today. How parents have it about the worse in the org. For any of us that have publicly left or spoken out against the WTS with our parents the reaction is almost always the same, "I have failed as a parent". It's amazing that the JW society gets away with speaking out of both sides of their mouth. We have free will, but if your children get to the point of free will and leave it is you the parents that are to blame. I know it's only natural for a parent to want whats best for their child and blame themselves if the child doesn't do what they feel is best. But it seems to happen more in the org because of the emphasis on parents forcing their kids to do certain activities. Hopefully this will change as more and more kids seem to be leaving or so hot/cold with the org.
It's always the parents fault
It used to break my heart when my mother would cry and ask what she did wrong. There was absolutely nothing she could have done to make me stay in. One problem, imho, is that they are soooo strict it stifles the natural energy you have when you are young. Too many things are off limits--not all of them necessarily bad.
Yea luckily I had one long talk with my Mom where I convinced her that I felt she was a wonderful parent and that I knew she did everything she did out of love. One argument I use with my Mom about me never coming back to the org is asking her if after figuring out for her self that her old religion was wrong if she could ever go back. She said no so I asked how could I possibly do the same?
So if a parent is humble and sad enough to blame their own self when a child leaves... why doesn't the Society act the same way? We were all "children" of the "mother organization." So why didn't they blame themselves and try to figure out where they went wrong?
I don't think it's the parents' fault if children leave the cancer. No matter what, if the doctrine is specious, the children are going to see through it, or they are going to be stifled by some doctrine or some piece of littera-trash, or they are going to be treated too harshly, or see something going on and the scramble to hide it, and want out.
This is solely an effort by the Filthful and Disgraceful Slavebugger to make the parents even harsher. They were allowed some recreation, and that is what made them leave. Or, they had music other than the 225 pieces of Kingdumb Sxxx and left. Or they were allowed to do something in school, and that made them leave. Or they did not pioneer one year, or get baptized at age 6, and that is why. Then other parents will crack down harder so their children will not leave, only to have them leave anyway. Some parents, in an attempt to prevent that, have kept their children totally dependent on them for life (and they work part time to support the whole family).
I would be quick to blame the Filthful and Disgraceful Slavebugger. Pioneering is too much a burden on children that should be playing. They never have any fun. They are stifled during their teenage years. They are not allowed to fit in with a world that should have helped them. They are embarrassed with the pedophilia issue (and sometimes even victimized by it), humiliated in front of classmates and neighbors, and picked on in school for not doing their reasonable best in school. And, to top it off, they are kept in the Second Dark Ages that the Watchtower Society has created for its members. No wonder so many want to go through their own Renaissance by walking out.
my mother was more worried she was responsible for my leaving in case she lost her seat on the A day bus. once i'd told her my leaving wasn't down to her she stopped worrying. As long as her god was going to kill me and not her it was all good.
Burger Time, I wonder if you agree with the following to add to your point?
Some people are brought up from childhood given lots of responsibility!
And the borg loves such ones because they will do the sme for them for free!
And if they have children, the children will learn and get used to having parents who do more than many would for their benefit till it becomes expected.
And maybe even the partner such ones have adopts similar expectation without giving mch in return?
So much is all this a feature of life that they become completely co-dependent on helping others to a degree that if alone they feel lost!
Now introduce shunning and rejection to such a peson and berating them for any perceived lack of character in their state of 'burned out' that awaits them and you see how some humans are programmed to fail and be treated that way by those who would never give more than a fraction of what that person gave of themselves!
So maybe its about some being empaths and getting repeatedly walked over by selfish judging personas whom they attract because they need empaths around them to be who they are? Maybe?
I tell my Mom that it is her fault. She raised me to study hard, love God with my whole heart, and have faith that He will take care of me if I follow Him. I studied, I love God and had faith that when I left the JWs for true Christianity I would be happy. She was right, and my happiness is definitely her fault. Funny, it doesn't make 'her' very happy.
unfortunately, my mother has fallen into this trap, and slowly though reason is getting through to her.
It shows such a lack of insight into the big picture working of human beings to beleive our parents have the golden key to influence not only our genetics but their manifestation in our environment.
I could blame my parents, but I do think they they thought they were doing the right thing at the time.
Unfortuantely, years later, my perception of my mom is that she does not want to be around me and her grandchildren because of her guilt. I just do not want to find out the truth, I do not want to be right about my feeling, so I don't ask her.