Family is driving me nuts... Elder driving me nuts - My 1st rant...

by cognac 15 Replies latest jw friends

  • flipper

    COGNAC- I agree with Blondie and Mrs. Jones takes. Your mother is being way too intrusive. There are things that only you and your husband - as a family unit should take care of . What did the scripture say, " the two will leave their mother and father and become ONE FLESH ?" Something like that.

    Many times in the witness congregations as you stated , the elders are more concerned about your not going out in service due to the fact it drags the congregation average down and they have to answer to the circuit overseer for it. So, instead of being concerned for your health in dealing with the PTSD , they are concerned once again about " outward appearances " and impressing others in field service. And since you are a " big fish " so to speak coming from a prominent witness family in your area - high profile , that is - your dad and mom may be the ones putting the bug in the ear of the " annoying " elder to reach out to you. They may tell him, " We can't reach her , so maybe you can . " Witness family members do that crap to try to reel us in sometimes.

    Yes, I would definitely keep you and your husband's private life, private. That's why they call it a " private " life ! Tell your mom you are getting great medical advice from medical professionals . Be kind to relatives- but don't let them control you. Sometimes our witness relatives try to control us - because they learn the controlling techniques from , you guessed it ( the organization )! Hang in there , if you ever need to talk, you know where to find me and my wife ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  • Hope4Others

    I feel sorry for you, there is no safe place she's even calling you at work! I Hope the rest of the day goes better.

  • dawg

    What Mrs Jones and Mary says.... but Moms do have that tendency.

    I wish my Mom would call me, I haven't heard from her in over a year. Mine cares not, your's is too intrusive... shit!

  • dinah

    Dawg, no matter what in the world my kids do, I CANNOT imagine not being there for them. I think my mom gave me a "mother hen" complex. Yeah she speaks to me, but I have never heard her utter the words "I love you" since June of 1986.

  • WTWizard

    It sounds like they are trying to force you back. They know you have a health condition that is aggravated by their continual hounding, and they will continue to hound you until you go back into the cancer. They do not give a fxxx how much worse it makes you--all they want is you going back to the cancer and following the Filthful and Disgraceful Slavebugger.

    To add to it, if you disassociate yourself (which you might have to do to protect your health), they will hold family hostage. You will not be allowed to associate with children that are believers (and I hope there are none), parents, or relatives that are in. Your whole network will be cut off, and they know that it, too, could easily make your condition (which they themselves created in the first place) worse. As your husband knows about how you feel about the cancer, at least that will not be the major risk (however, the witlesses might still try and limit association with him, at least on a spiritual level, so you will not be able to pull him out of the cancer).

    Ideally, you should both disassociate yourselves. In your disassociation letter, you might explain that they have caused you a serious health problem, and that continued association with them is likely to prove deadly or cause even worse health problems including diabetes, heart disease, and real cancer. And that they continued hounding you, knowing that they were making your medical problem worse. For sure, if there was a God that was maximally benevolent, He should have long ago excused you from serving Him in your present capacity on medical grounds. If the congregation has not, then they cannot be serving a kind God.

  • Roski

    I have been where you are, so it all sounds very De Ja Vu. I very much regret that when I left my elder husband I let people who had no real interest in my personal welfare at the time, push themselves into my life and the lives of my children. That caused damage that took years - and in some cases never - to get over. Just recently, after so many years, I heard that I have supposedly converted to Islam (that from a person I have never met). So you see, the stupidity never stops. Hearing that made me laugh but at the same time made me sad, thinking that I had allowed such people to try and manipulate my life. Their real interest in my welfare (spiritual or physical) was zero - as evidenced in many ways in the long term. It is quite difficult to step back and take an objective stand at this point - but the more you are able to do so, the better off you will be. Your health is your first priority. Sounds like mum needs some boundaries. All the best...

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