by Galileo 25 Replies latest jw experiences
I haven't welcomed you yet Galileo. So, Welcome.
Your story really made me stop and think about my own situation in life. My wife hasn't moved on emotionally, yet, but I know the chance exists. You've been through a lot and I give you credit for keeping your sanity and I really appreciate your posts.
Hang in there. It's a lonely road you're walking. But, you will find company from some of us from time to time.
I think your 3-part essay has finally inspired me to write my own chronicle of leaving the faith.
Please do. I look forward to reading it. Reading the experiences of others who left gave me comfort and it was with the hope of helping others grappling with leaving that I decided to record my own experience.
If you could magically roll the clock back to that fateful night in 2005 and have a chance to try again, is there anything you would do differently?
This is a question I ask myself often. I honestly don't think so. Not that I think I handled the situation perfectly, but I think the outcome would have been the same because of the person my wife is, and even the mistakes I made were important for me to make. I hope that makes sense.
It's apparent that although your mind is discounting Biblical authority and regulation of living, your emotion still functions with some subservience to it, don't you think?
Maybe this is the trickiest thing to be sure about - that your feeling and thought are now deprogrammed beyond the influences of a work you deem flawed and thus mere advice, to a point where you are sure you can construct a replacement 'thought-feeling soul' to progress and function on what it does now deem acceptable within its own logic/essence!?
I'm not entirely certain I understand this completely, perhaps you could clarify. It is certain that some parts of my personality were formed by the Judeo-Christian ethics and morals of the bible, and the WTB&TS interpretation thereof. Some of it I'm still working on de-weeding from my subconscious, like my gut reaction to politics and holidays. Other parts I'm sure I will carry with me always, and that's not necessarily a bad thing. I believe religion has evolved largely as a way of teaching morals and ethics, and while many of the stories may not be true, many of the lessons are still valuable. I don't believe, for instance, that Lot's wife turned into a pillar of salt, but I believe not looking back at what could have been once you've decide on a course of action is good council. Does that answer your question?
Galileo,
Lot's wife looked back to the things behind her, no? and became a pillar of unmovable salt......perhaps that's what happens when people stick living in the past, allegorically speaking that is. To a degree it will be excusable because a person needs to get things out of his system and I sure hope this writing of you will do just that for you.
On the other hand I do hope in the last 2 to 3 years you have found a heading.....please, do write your epilogue.
Cheers
Borgia
I have to say that was one of the most compeling life stories I have ever read. That because it summed up a great deal of my feelings & observations about the truth. For instance (& not entirely your experience), I was that ministerial servant who was giving 'good talks' & wondering how the brothers would feel about my atheism & utter disdain for religion. How would they feel about my drinking 3 bottles of wine per week, in addition to a few half bottles of whiskey & a good few packs of beer? Also, your conversations with my wife were similar. Even now after 2 years when we talk in a calm and logical manner, I can see in her eyes that she views my coherant, logical opinions on the bible/religion/WTS as the devils voice. How frustrating that is. I wish you well in your future.
