My JW uncle died -- going to visitation. (page 2)

Renee, so sorry for your loss.

I was completely freaked out at the thought of attending my mother's service at the KH. This was 3 years ago but I hadn't stepped foot in a hall in many years. And now I was faced with re-living the JW experience while grieveing intensely for my mom. Just thinking about it was almost unbearable and I had no clue what to expect. Still, I forced myself to go. Fortunately, my sister and brother are no longer witnesses so our families sat together.

I saw many people I hadn't seen in years. And many of my mom's closest friends I had never even met. Some didn't even know she had children and grandchildren. Many came up to us to express their condolences and tell us they were glad we came. Many stayed away from us but I didn't care. I just tried to remain friendly and open.

Of the ones who didn't approach us, I think some dubs are afraid of those who happily leave the organization. I remember feeling this way when I would run into those who left. I definitely tried to avoid them as it stirred up that old cognitive dissonance and made me very uncomfortable.

I only had two negative experiences concerning the "come back to Jah" thing. One of my mom's closest friends whom I had never met said a few words as she embraced me. I thanked her for her concern and moved on. Then a nutty old elder tried to place a tract with me about death. I said Thanks, but no thanks and moved on.

Afterwards, I noticed how little "hold" the witnesses had over me anymore. My mother was the last relative in the "truth" so I have no ties to them. I still feel sad and regretful at times when I think of how much I lost and how hard it was to extricate myself from the org. But I have moved on.

One kind of sad note. My family had been close to a particular elder who was later DF'd (drinking, I think). We loved this guy like a brother and invited him to the service. His daughter drove him there but he was afraid to come in because he is disfellowshipped. He still believes it's the Truth.

Casper

My sincere condolences

I agree with Jim_TX... just say :

"Have you met my husband?"
This throws them off balance for a second - and takes the focus from what they want to say

Cas

compound complex

Dear Renee,

,

Love,

CoCo

flipper

RENEE- My wife and I send our hugs and condolences to you friend . Sincerely, Mr. and Mrs. Flipper P.S. I like Jim's advice too .

reneeisorym

Ok so it's over -- and I didn't have to worry about what to say.

I walked in and there were about 30 there. (Not many) It was just the visitation and not the funeral. I walked in tall and with my head up, making eye contact. I saw a room full of people who I loved and were dear to me. I didn't see but about 2 I didn't know. They were all ouside the door and around the room with the casket. I met eyes with many lost friends and family. All of them (but two and i'll get to that) didn't even make any expression that made me think they saw me but they looked me straight in the eye. It was like they saw right through me. I felt like a ghost but yet eveyone was staring at the same time. I walked in the room, signed the book and walked out. Before I went in, I gave my husband some wedding pictures to give my dad. He told my mom he wanted some but I just got around to getting them made last week. On the way out I saw my dad and told my husband to hand him the pictures. He shook my dad's hand and mentioned the pictures, handing them to him. He took them, looked at me and smiled. I went to walk out and saw my beloved grandmother. (This grandmother is on the top five people I have cared the most about in my life). I knew her back was to me and she wouldn't see me without me getting her attention. I put my hand on her back. She looked at me. I smiled. She smiled, mouthed hello, and I walked away.

desbah

renee,

sorry for your loss, sounds like you handle your uncle's visitation well. you are very courageous, by showing up to pay your respects to your late uncle it's worth more than words.

MOG

My condolences for your family lost.. let me touch something that has helped me that you may already know but may need to reaffirm it in your heart, when confronted with family that are JW or old past relationships of JW what you have to ask yourself..did you EVER leave Jehovah? not the man made religion?..do you not know that Jesus said "his body is the temple"? did you not know that Jehovah does not reside in man made temples/kingdom halls no longer? Don't be ever be afraid - even in this trial. If ever a JW ask you "to come back Jehovah" (meaning to be a JWitness again) - let them know "I never left Jehovah" (unless your saying you actually did leave him).. "And are built upon the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ Himself being the Chief Corner Stone; In Whom all the building fitly framed together grows unto an HOLY TEMPLE IN THE LORD" (Eph. 2:21). i am sorry for the lost of your uncle once again May Jehovah bless you..

My JW uncle died -- going to visitation.

ex-nj-jw

evita

Casper

compound complex

flipper

reneeisorym

desbah

MOG

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