Told My Mom- "Dad's Got Too Much Load on Him as a 82 Year Old Elder "

by flipper 38 Replies latest jw friends

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  Mary

  Unfortunately, the Organization doesn't seem to care about the burdens they put on the elderly in general, let alone an 82 year old elder. My brother in law nearly had a nervous breakdown several years ago from the stress of being an elder. He was only about 45 at the time, but because of two moronic, power-tripping elders, they lost every good elder they had, because no one would do anything about it. I told my b-i-l a year before he stepped down that he needed to quit while he was ahead, but because he was the only decent elder left in that congregation he felt he was abandonning the congregation so he stayed. The last straw was the day he and my sister were out for breakfast and as he reached for the sugar, she saw his hands were literally shaking. So she told him to step down.

  The sad thing is, if your dad has been an elder for 50 years, that's a big part of himself that he might feel he is giving up if he were to step down. One thing you might suggest is that he tell the other elders or CO or whoever it is they report to, that he just needs to take some time off----say 6 months. You could stress that he's not really stepping down as an elder, but he's just taking a break----sort of like taking a 6 month unpaid Leave of Absence from work. You could then tell him at the end of 6 months, if he wants to resume being an elder, he'll be in much better shape to. I can almost guarantee you though, that at the end of 6 months, your dad will probably realize he doesn't want to be burdened with all that crap again.
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  flipper

  MARY- Sorry to hear your brother in law went through so much stress from such an uncaring organization. The Watchtower society truly " uses" people in a very literal way - till they almost drop dead from exhaustion . I'm glad your brother in law stopped serving as an elder before it was too late !
  
  My dad does really take his serving as an elder seriously - however recently I guess my talking with my mom paid dividends as they got another elder to assist my dad in the book study , so my dad doesn't have to conduct it now. It's not much - but maybe more help will follow . Thanks for your concern, it is appreciated. Peace out, Mr.Flipper
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  Billy the Ex-Bethelite

  Glad to hear the latest, Flipper. And now that he doesn't have to conduct, why should they have to attend every boring study of the already overstudied Revelation Climb-max book? They still have so much to take care of. And the Book Study truly is skipworthy. I think even the apostles would rather go out to dinner at TGIFriday's rather than have to sit through another truly hideous installment of John's acid trip.
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  steve2

  I'm sorry but yoiur father is just another Watchtower martyr. My maternal grandfather went to his grave in his late 70s working far-too-hard for a thankless congregation. But, to be fair, my grandmother tried her best to get him to step down and he refused. As much as I empathized with my grandfather's heavy burden in his later years, he also needed to take some responsibility for the role he took on.

  It's instructive that there is an absence of younger ones willing to step into your father's shoes - which, in a way, augurs well for the demise of the Watchtower. Imagine a situation in which there were plnety of younger mlaes lined up ready and willing to take on your father's responsibilities. Now that, in my view, would be more of a problem.
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  flipper

  BILLY the EX- BETHELITE- Thanks for your concern. I like your post ! Funny stuff ! I think my dad , not so much my mom, but dad would crawl to a friggin' book study if he had to ! So not conducting it won't stop him from going ! But I agree with your last comment. The apostle John had to be on Acid or be doing extremely stout steroid use to write that crazy -a$$ stuff in Revelation. It's not the book in the Bible a person wants to read when they want to be comforted, relaxed , and calmed down
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  flipper

  STEVE 2 - I'm sorry to hear your grandfather worked so hard for this thankless organization too. My dad needs to take responsibility as well , but like you said ,they train these guys to be martyrs thinking the congregations will stop revolving without them at the helm ! I hope you are right that there are not many young men wanting to take the older elders place. That would bode well for the demise of the Watchtower society ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper
• 

  Finally-Free

  When my mom was 75 and newly diagnosed with lymphoma there was still one elder trying to convince her to auxiliary pioneer™. He thought her health might improve with a little exercise.

  After all this time and so many years of work, I think your dad has more than earned some peace and quiet.

  W
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  flipper

  FINALLY FREE- That is disgusting an elder told your mom to pioneer after being diagnosed with lymphoma . I swear this organization knows no boundaries in making people feel they aren't doing enough. I too think my dad has done plenty of time now serving this thankless organization. Thanks for your thoughts
• 

  wednesday

  Flipper ( read that some help has occurred, glad to hear that.)

  I'm so sorry your mom and dad are facing taking care of your sister alone. They do need help and the Cong of jws often fall down on their duties- ie the bible specifically talks about caring for the old , sick orphans and widows

  I recall an elder approaching 90 had lost his wife and began getting "messages" from God. The elder body threatened to Df him if he did not stop spreading his own ideas around. Sometimes I think a could swift kick would help some of these elder bodies.

  So many times the non jws part of the family or the Df members end up taking care of the parents- the jws part have more pressing- ie spiritual things to do. I ask you- what is more spiritual. or pressing than showing honor for a father or mother?

  If your sister is on disability or anything, there should be local social agencies that might provide some assistance. a social worker should be consulted.
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  Homerovah the Almighty

  Totally empathize with you Flipper in this situation, this publishing house is very aggressive and pushy to its little minions that it has

  control over. The problem arises with fellows like your father when they put it upon themselves as this being their own oppressive responsibility to maintain that

  position irregardless of any health issues that may be apparent, I hope the other elders in his congregation have enough common sense to not put too much on

  his shoulders because the stress could be damaging to his health.