Regarding getting psychological counselling, there is not a rule that I know about for JW's. However, the JW's are constantly told that "the wisdom of this world is false", and that they have the best counsellors (their elders) who can show them answers out of the Bible or Watchtower publications. If they hear from a non-JW counsellor anything that seems critical of the religion, the JW will likely shut down and not cooperate with the counsellor.
JW elders have no training other than running their little part of the organization. They are not qualified to help people with any psychological or emotional issues. The usual advice from these elders is to pray more, study more, attend more meetings, or go out in the JW ministry more. (This advice is very unhelpful, and sometimes even harmful.)
I think you were right when you said the JW elders might not let her back in as a member for a long time. As I said earlier in this thread, the person who thinks like a JW believes that God and "the organization" come ahead of their marriage mate. I don't know how long you'd be willing to put up with that sort of thinking. In your case, she probably thinks you're going to die soon at Armageddon, and that thought paralyzes her. She doesn't know how to proceed, so when you ask her a very simple question about choosing between you and the organization, she freezes up.
Here's a website about JW's and counselling you might find interesting. http://www.4witness.org/jwstart/jw_counseling.php#1b
Below is something interesting -- about 4 traits JW's have, and that you might be seeing in your lady friend.
FEAR OF THE OUTSIDE WORLD:
Jehovah’s Witnesses have been told to avoid friendships with non-Jehovah’s Witnesses and to look to the leaders of the Watchtower organization for guidance in many areas of their physical and spiritual lives. This leads to an isolationist mentality and makes it difficult for them to seek help outside the confines of their religious organization. Thus, it can take a while before a Jehovah’s Witness will overcome his or her fear of the outside world enough to seek help from a professional counseling service, and some never do get to this place.DIFFICULTY MAKING DECISIONS:
Due to the authoritarian nature of their religion, Jehovah’s Witnesses are instructed to trust the guidance of their leadership with no questions asked. They are told to avoid critical attitudes or “independent thinking” that is contrary to the group mindset. All details of Jehovah’s Witness belief and practice are spelled out in clear black and white terms. So, when Jehovah’s Witnesses are put in situations where they must do their own critical thinking and analysis of issues that involve gray areas — where the right answers are not clearly defined — Jehovah’s Witnesses often experience fear and emotional stress, being unsure of their ability to determine the best course of action. This is especially true in cases where fear of having the “wrong” answer holds them back from making clear, decisive decisions.INABILITY TO RELAX:
The goals and purposes of the Watchtower organization take precedence over the personal needs and desires of the individual. This can lead to extreme physical and emotional exhaustion and an inability to relax and take time off for personal recuperation, without feeling guilty over not serving the organization during this “free time.”DIFFICULTY CONNECTING WITH EMOTIONS:
At all cost, Jehovah’s Witnesses learn how to stifle negative emotions in reference to the organization and to present a “happy” image to the public. They have been conditioned to protect the reputation of the Watchtower organization, even to the extent of personal detriment. For example, Silent Lambs (www.silentlambs.org), an organization dedicated to exposing child abuse in the Watchtower, has documented numerous cases where innocent victims of child abuse have been silenced with the treat of lawsuits or being ostracized from the organization if they speak of their experience publicly. Since emotions have been stifled and manipulated in this way, a Jehovah’s Witness client may have difficulty getting in touch with his or her inner being and emotions.