How do you deal with co-workers?

by anewme 29 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  TheSilence

  I manage the floor on a casino. I get a lot of attitudes from players, dealers, and supervisors. My best advice to you is this: do your job and do it well... and beyond that if someone has an issue with you let it be their issue. You don't have to own a problem someone else has, even if it's with you. It's their problem so just let it be their's. I've been called Satan, the devil's minion, a "f*cking muslim loving b*tch", among many other things, to my face. More than anything it amuses me because, again, it's their problem if they have an issue with me, not mine. How I react is a choice. I choose to be amused rather than allow it to spoil my mood and ruin my day.

  Jackie
• 

  LongHairGal

  Anewme,

  Welcome to the real world! I admit that it isn't very pretty. This is why I always got enraged when some stupid JW tried to compare their pioneering to my full time job. There is just no comparison.

  As you NOW know, being in the working world is like being on the front lines in battle. Just being among the 'brothers' isn't the same because they usually have their best foot forward. I say 'usually' because it isn't always so good around them in the work force. I have worked with them in an office and when it boils down to it they can be a problem as well even though they may not be 'in your face' or cursing all the time like so-called worldly people.

  With regard to working in the 'world', I learned over the years to develop a thicker skin. I do admit that some things bother me and I have to keep my mouth shut or else I wouldn't have a job - anywhere. In your case I have some advice. Don't come across all 'holier than thou'. If you have high moral standards, try to keep them to yourself. People always hate you when you are better than them. Don't come across like a brown nose kissing the boss' rear end either. If you must, do so in private.

  Try to act like a team player and be a little friendly to everybody. You have to learn to be a little politic and this is something you didn't learn in the hall. You expected people to be nice 'just because'. I would be the first one to agree with you that it is hard to be around people for 8 hours when you have nothing in common with them except the need for that paycheck. This advice will probably work some of the time with 'normal' people that is. I agree that you sometimes have to speak up, like you did with the younger workers who use inappropriate terms.

  It isn't easy, but I wish you the best of luck.

  LHG
• 

  anewme

  Get the picture: I am 54 years old, a former elder's wife for 20 years who left the org after 33 years. From 17 on I served the borg, no college, no degrees, pioneered, and then got the boot out into the world.......no family, no friends, no children, no job, no money, no home, and no more youth.
  
  Now I am working my third low wage job since leaving the org. I am working with 20 year olds who use the f word without shame. Who talk about getting even with people. I dont try and be holier than thou.
  But I cant say the f word. And I dont believe in revenge. I believe in peace and trying to be peaceable with all men and women. I work hard at finding common ground and establishing good communication with everyone. I want a happy relationship with everyone and I work hard to achieve it.
  I actually believe through social negotiations it is possible to live in peace with all people.
  But some people take a greater deal of effort to achieve a good relationship with.
  
  It is true, that at 54 I am an oddity on my sales floor. Why is a woman having to work six days a week for a small wage? The young girls would be appalled to think at 54 they will still be serving the public in this capacity. They dream of big houses and cars and rich husbands and owning their own businesses.
  
  
  I need to develop a thicker skin............or find a chill pill.
  
  
  
  
• 

  lrkr

  Although there are petty, small minded, vulgar people everywhere (including in the KH) I found that I had developed a set of prejudices from my time in the org. I assumed that vulgar speech meant lower intelligence. I assumed selfishness. I presumed to think that non-dubs were "evil" because that is what I was raised thinking.

  What I found was that there are very good people beneath those rough exteriors. And many of the rough exteriors are due to abusive environments that many grew up in. I still struggle with my prejudices and am trying to develop a new radar- that looks for good people. I still have to be careful- you cant trust everyone.

  But I find that many people who are well dressed, respectful, kind, and well spoken are usually selling something. Many times, these people are more shallow and devious than the tough looking, tough talking crowd.

  But I feel for you finding your way in the work world after a lifetime on the inside. It aint easy. But it gets easier.

  Just my 2 cents.
• 

  Cheetos

  Oh please, with all due respect its the same with the brothers and sisters those in the (hall), they are not little saints, back biting and all the rest is the same with all people. The Witness's drilled it into our minds that some how they were above the world in such things, the basic diference is a follower of Christ knows better, so that helps him of her change their ways a little more depending on their diet of bible reading and prayer.
• 

  Cheetos

  Oh please, with all due respect its the same with the brothers and sisters those in the (hall), they are not little saints, back biting and all the rest is the same with all people. The Witness's drilled it into our minds that some how they were above the world in such things, the basic diference is a follower of Christ knows better, so that helps him or her change their ways a little more depending on their diet of bible reading and prayer.
• 

  SPAZnik

  Make this your pearl bracelet:

  That'll throw 'em off.

  And remember, secretly, they want you to like them too.
• 

  Jim_TX

  What I think that you may need to do is to rethink your location. I know that your husband may also work - but if you are located in a large metropolitan area - (like I am) - folks tend to be a tad more rude than in the smaller communities.

  Whenever I travel to the smaller towns around this city - I notice a vast difference in the people and their attitudes. They are polite - say 'excuse me', yield the right of way in traffic, etc.

  Soooooooo... perhaps you are located in a large metropolitan area - and need to move to a smaller community.

  I do not think your age has all that much to do with it.

  A smaller community. That's the answer.

  Regards,

  Jim TX
• 

  troubled mind

  anewme.....You sound like some one I would really love to work with !

  I find what Jim_tx said to be true .Where you live makes a huge difference .I live in a small town and have three part-time jobs.. The gift store I work at has all women employed ranging from 17-60, they are very nice to work with very polite , and work conscious,we look out for each other . There are times though were you have to speak up or people in general will walk all over you . I think you did the right thing speaking up to your manager ,she will only treat you how you allow her to.

  You might be better off finding a better work environment .Do some checking around observe how the employees treat each other while you are shopping at a store and look for a place that might suit you better . Maybe a bookstore or a store that caters to a more mature client might be better for you . Not every job is going to be bad .

  My other job is a total different environment altogether . I drive school bus and many of the drivers are retired men ,older women and a few young moms. The shop also has a trucking business so we have mechanics and such there too . At that job there are many back biters and gossips and just plain know it alls . I just come in do my job and leave most of the time . I have been known to tell a few of the men off for saying inappropriate things in front of me . But like someone else said on here I leave it with them and don't take much of what they say or do to heart .

  Good luck to whatever you chose to do
• 

  lisavegas420

  Well, let me tell you about working with kids. They are still kids..they love attention. Complimate their clothes, hair, makeup. They'll love you

  lisa