Those are funny. Here are some I found today.
Flies spread disease . Keep yours zipped.
What do you get when you cross a Jehovah's Witness and an Atheist?
Someone who knocks at your door for no apparent reason.
Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he'll sit in a boat and drink beer.
I will find humour in my everyday life by looking for people I can laugh at.
Mary had a little lamb,
Her father shot it dead.
Now Mary takes the lamb to school
Between two hunks of bread.
Mary had a little bear
To which she was so kind
And everywhere that Mary went
You saw her bear behind.
Mary had a little watch,
She swallowed it one day,
The doctor gave her castor oil
To pass the time away.