Did you lose a confidant/sounding board buddy when you left?

by Gregor 12 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Gregor

  Someone you would set and listen to their problems and they listened to yours. They were friends. But when you left they were gone. Now you feel a void for that kind of confidant.

  I had good friend whose family was very close with ours. Our small children were good pals. We did things together. Fishing, camping, going to dinner and a movie. He had a drinking problem. Two drinks made him drunk. I once saw him pulled over by the police near his home. I stopped and pleaded with the officer to let me take him home and he agreed! I saved him jail, suspended license and thousands of dollars.

  Anyway, when I left he shunned me big time. Like others who shunned me the most severely, he was a marginal witness.
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  FlyingHighNow

  My sister in law. We were like peas and carrots. We were so funny together. Always kept people laughing. Then came in Patsy. Patsy will still talk to me though. She's just as bad, well worse than me. But people used to come up to us in restaurants and ask us what vitamins we'd been taking because they wanted some. Others suggested we get our own TV show because we were funnier and more charming than the cast of Designing Women. I miss "Ruby Lee". Patsy? I don't know where she is anymore.
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  Tyrone van leyen

  No, I never lost company with someone I trusted or confided in. There never was anyone to talk too. Inside the religion, or out. There was never a means of creating a new freindship that was real or caring outside the confines, limitations, and structured thinking within the cult.

  The only answer I ever got was Jehovah this and Jehovah that. What about real life and my God dam feelings. I still am not sure to this day what dating is, and their were too many rats to talk about it. Everything was monitered constricted and confined, and yet somehow we were always the bad guys, at least thats the way I felt about it. Being natural is truly destroyed within this ridiculous non thoughtful, burdensome regime.
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  Smiles_Smiles

  Absolutely. Unfortunately or maybe Fortunately ...

  I have learned people come in and out of my life. They serve a purpose for a time/season and when that purpose is completed sometimes that friendship or closeness dissolves. It use to bother me but it doesn't bother me much at all anymore. I have learned that when I try to hold on to people that have already served the purpose for our joining then I just create pain and drama (and allot of times a friendship that is not deep but very conditional). So I just keep my hands open and don't try to hold on to anyone. Love them while they are in my lives and appreciate the time I have with them and embrace change when it comes. Change is Life.

  It can be hard though until one gets into the practice of it ... I'm sorry for your loss. *HUGS* I am certain you will have more friendships like that in your life.

  Smiles
• 

  MMae

  I was df'd a dozen years ago. I also moved a short distance away at the same time, so that also served to severe relationships. Recently a JW relative passed on, so I attended his memorial. To my suprise almost everyone spoke to me. But the two that I noticed who deliberately would not speak to me, were two people that I felt I had a very close relationship with at one time. It just seemed weird.
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  jelcat8224

  all my JW 'friends' left me loooong before I left the JW's. I got stabbed in the back by every last one of them. (well, all but one)

  jelcat
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  cognac

  Yeah, he's called My Husband...
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  flipper

  GREGOR- I did lose a close buddy of mine in death back in April 2003 . We had been tight during all the 1990's , camping , backpacking with our kids, drink beers , gossip about the elders craziness, etc. but we both drifted out of the organization about the same time and I only talked on the phone with him 2 months before he died. Also- a real good friend , an elder who was cool ( rarity) we played baseball together, hiked, listened to the same music - haven't talked to him in 6 years or seen him in 12 years. I just put a call into him yesterday and left a message as now that I've been married a year and a half to Mrs. Flipper - starting to want to reach out to old buddies and introduce her to them. I'm kind of nervous about the response I'll get. I'll let you know when I finally get a hold of him ! I feel for ya bro- I go through similar thoughts ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper
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  Layla33

  Hmmm, not really. I had long grew tired of the limited amount of people to choose as friends, none of whom I liked very much. Most of the females had these stupid cliques, and I just didn't like trying to pretend. I always got along better with males, as I had four brothers, but it was totally discouraged, so the few female friends I had, were either one foot out the door or so sanctimonous it just got on my nerves. I started making friends and school and at work, when I worked part time at a department store, so I had made transition anyway.
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  Cc81

  my sister was my best friend. We told each other everything... most of the time we knew what the other one was thinking. I left and she threw me away the very next day