Denied re-instatement (page 2)

Descender

After my first disfellowshipping I wrote my letters to the elders at 2 months, 4 months, and 6 months. I was denied in my 2 month and 4 month meetings. In my last letter I stated how repentant I was and all that stuff and alos related the corinthian disfellowshipping where the guy was sleeping with his step-mom after his father died and how he was reinstated within 6 months according to the chronology in the NWT Bible. I Got reinstated with my 6 month letter.

After my second disfellowshipping I didn't even write a letter until almost a year after I'd been going. The commitee that met with me were asses and told me that they didn't know if I'd ever do enough to return. They really didn't like me. I was going to another congregation but I still had to meet with the original commitee that disfellowshipped me 4 years before and a commitee at my current hall everytime I wrote a letter.

After that first year I decided on an annoyance tactic. I started writing a letter to the commitee every month and a half. They had to hold a meeting with me everytime and if they hadn't called to schedule a meeting after one week of me sending the letter I'd call the head elder of my commitee and bug him about setting a time to meet with me. It took awhile, but they finally gave in and reinstated me around the two year mark.

All in all, it was a big waste of time. I stopped attending meetings about 6 months after being reinstated the second time. I was never disfellowshipped for having doubts, but being disfellowshipped and seeing the way I was treated sure helped any doubts I had to grow until I finally knew that it wasn't the truth. So I send a thank you to the elders that disfellowshipped me. If it weren't for those guys I'd probably be an elder instead of a happy, holiday celebrating, college educated guy married to a beautiful worldly girl who has lots of free time on my Tuesday and Thursday nights and Sunday mornings. :)

GoddessRachel

I have never known anyone to be reinstated the first time they requested it. I agree with the person who said it is a test of your "commitment." You only prove them right in their deluded heads when you walk away after the first attempt. Oh well.

The first time I was disfellowshipped, I requested to be reinstated at about 3 months, and it was too soon, they said. The second time I requested it was at about 6 months, and my ex-boyfriend who got disfellowshipped for the same thing as me (can you guess what it was? lol) had just been reinstated by his judicial committee, so mine really wanted to reinstate me. It felt like a weird competitive thing, somehow.

The second time I was disfellowshipped I went through hell. I wrote over half a dozen letters, I sat in hours of meetings, I cried, I pleaded, and yet they said no, over and over. I always wanted back in for the wrong reasons, somehow. It was the worst thing I've been through, the psychological torture of it all. I believed these men had direct communication with God and that God was telling them I was evil. I was foolish, and I believed there was something devastatingly wrong with me. It turns out it wasn't me at all. It was them.

Don't put yourself through that. If you must play their game, then play it, but don't let them ever convince you that there is something wrong with you. They have no right to judge you. God isn't communicating with them. They are just going through their WTS rulebooks and you are so right when you call it a mind fcuk because that is EXACTLY what it is.

Peace,

Rachel

Dagney

Oh yes they can. I don't think it's the high percentage, but they can keep you out as long as they want.

I have a newly reinstated friend who just went through this, DF for 20 years. An older, recently moved in elder went to bat for him and help the BOE appreciate the need to forgive and let him in. The rest the of BOE acquiesed. I told one elder, "whatever happened to 77 times 7? Why not let him in and if he fails again, it should have no bearing on the issue of forgiveness." Sheesh.

They can make up their own rules.

dawg

I wasn't denied the first request... but the man that was on the JC with me, he got caught fooliing around with whores on Stewart Ave... so I played on the fact that a sinner had DFed me. He apparetly was sleeping around with both male and female prostitutes... LOL!

Don't yuo love being judged by plumbers and janitors as to whether you're repentant or not? LOL!

WTWizard

I wonder what would happen if you wrote a reinstatement request the very same day after getting disfellowshipped, and photocopied enough copies to send three or four of them every day until they have to uphold them. Or, set your computer to write a spam e-mail to the effect about every 30 seconds, until they accept it (and if they drag their feet, their inboxes will just keep getting filled up with those spams).

Better, just don't even bother showing up for anything. Once you get disfellowshipped, just stop going to all meetings. Don't do anything to go back. That way, you won't be wasting your time trying to go back. Remember, the prodigal son got accepted back right away as soon as he made his first request, not after several months. If they won't do it that way, they are not upholding the Bible as they claim to.

Finally-Free

I wonder if putting cheques in the contribution boxes would speed up the process.

W

blondie

I wonder if Peter had to beg twice or more for forgiveness; only days later he was giving a public talk to over 3,000 people. How many times did David have to beg for forgiveness? He even had to have Nathan sent to him and a story told to him before he saw that murder and adultery were wrong.

sacolton

If I had to write a letter today to be reinstated it would look like this:

"Hey! Can I get reinstated? No? Kewl! KTHXBYE! LOLZ! :P"

- sacolton

Not Feeling It

mine was in the 6 month to 1 year range after my 2nd request. it was about 20 years ago when I was in my late teens. I had *completely* forgotten the letter writing and the begging. thanks for rehashing that horrible memory!

MMae

WOW! Thanks guys! This has been so enlightening!

I've recently been put in contact with an old JW friend who is presently inactive, but still believes. He's refused to shun me. (We lost contact 12 years ago after my df'ing as I moved out of his congregation.) At least until he gets caught, then I might not ever see him again. . But since no one pays him any never mind, that is probably not too likely. Anywho - he has been df'd in the past. I'm going to have to ask him if they made him make multiple requests. Boy, in all the articles about the "loving" act of disfellowshipping, they sure make it sound that they are more than ready to receive you back with open arms. Such twisted liars!

Back then, I believed JWs were God's organization - although I never believed that you had to be JW to be saved, only that it made it more likely. Perhaps that is why I could walk away after the rejection, although not without a great deal of pain. I think I also had the advantage of not having close family members shunning me. For those facing that it must be 100 times harder. And how much more unloving to delay welcoming them back!

The thing was, that I was straight forward. I actually imagined that God's elders would be as well. When I bore my heart, and they said they didn't believe me, I believed them to be expressing what they truly thought. It was out of my hands. They either believed me or they didn't. There was nothing more I could do that I hadn't done already.

I am hurting......and it is not because I want to go back. I DON'T........And I couldn't if I wanted to: my eyes are opened now. It's the knowledge that they have the audacity to inflict this kind of pain on people, and then judge their supposed motives by how they squirm. It is sickening. I literally want to vomit.

Freaking mind F***ers.

Denied re-instatement

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