A JW speaker said in his talk, that the brothers and sisters should only marry in the lord. In other words from the JW point of view, only marry another JW. He also quoted some anonymous person who said that.. "what is worst than being single is being married to the wrong person"....Personally, my view is "it is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all?"..
The WTS are allowing many, mainly sisters to live lonely lives because of this directive to only marry other JWS. As there are more sisters than brothers this is grossly unfair! (especially if the sister craves to be a mother) I know a young lady who married a 'worldly man' against all counsel and now has a beautiful daughter. She said that she could not wait for a brother as she knew many sisters who were prettier than her, so what chance did she have. Her 'worldly' husband is very handsom! She is happy with her marriage. She was then shunned after a special talk. She still goes to meetings and has to sit through talks like the one I,m mentioning...The more I pull away..the more Wrong I can see.
xxx Strawberry Cake
Is it better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all ?
by strawberry cake 12 Replies latest social relationships
-
strawberry cake
-
sonny60
Yes, I too have been in love with a JW and still am. I found my good freind and mate with that person. So yes it is good to really have love and lost that love i would say. Know I am just another worldly person whom this person can't really talk to or have anything to do with. I was with this person for 5 years of my life then the watchtower was able to pull this person back into it folds. It is so sad that this must happen to people.
-
xig28
hi i am new to these boards!
in somewhat i would agree with this very well. you cant live life to its fullest until you are loved by that special person. although i am 16 and i understand i am young and i have my whole life-time ahead me, i am in what i call "semi-in love" with a jw girl. i havent fallen in true love until i know for a fact that its true. i would do just about anyhting to make her happy. though i wouldnt turn myself into a jw even if she tells to. But what good would come out of it? i would be doing it for her but not for the lord which is a bad thing. the good thing though in our relationship(i am not with her but we know that we both care for each other a lot) is that we can understand each other and she never really pressures me to be a jw. although i have a question. once a jw is baptized can they actually have a relationship with a non-jw or it isnt possible? becausei have asked a few people and they say i can have a relation with her, but others say i cant? what is it?
-xig28
-
takethat
This lonliness they force on so many Bro's and sis is truly terrible. Last year a dear sister drank herself to death because she saw no way out of her lonliness. She had been a pioneer and had served where the need was greater, All her family were witnesses and encouraged her to stay single, yet her lonliness was obvious to see. Bouts of depression followed along with hospitalisation. She wasn't the prettiest of sisters but she wasn't hideous either, just a normal girl. Her biological clock was ticking and still there was no-one in the "truth" for her.
She was totally trapped. If she left and found a worldly boyfriend, she would be disciplined or disfellowshipped. Lose all her family and end up dying at armageddon. For her, that option was a non-starter.
So in the end she drank herself into a stupor and died in her flat. They found her after 2 days. She was 33.
RIP Michelle xxx
TT
-
strawberry cake
Dear Sonny60...........This cult of an organization, even tells you who you can or cannot love....scary. xxx Strawberry Cake
-
strawberry cake
Dear xig28...Welcome to the board..I haven't been here long myself..The support found here is invaluable. With regards your question.....................once a jw is baptized can they actually have a relationship with a non-jw or it isnt possible? because i have asked a few people and they say i can have a relation with her, but others say i cant? what is it? In my experience, she can do what she likes, but there are consequences. She will be counseled by the elders to 'bring her to her senses' She will be prevented from answering up at the meeting, possibly after a private or a public reproof. She will also be considered bad association, and possibly will find herself being shunned by members of the congregation. Her reputation will be ruined. If you visit the hall with her you will probably notice the brothers and sisters are non too friendly..(if they know you are not a brother.This all depends on the type of brothers and sisters at the hall.) So, really it also depends on how your girlfriend views her possition in the organization. All the best to both. xxx Strawberry Cake
-
AWAKE&WATCHING
If I had lost my husband after our 12 relationship then I would have said "it is better to have loved and lost....". Instead we got married. It was the most heart-breaking 5 years of my life. Being married to the wrong person is a level of hell I wouldn't wish on anyone. Dating and losing someone is a completely different experience than living with someone on a day to day basis that destroys not only your self-esteem but your soul. It is difficult to recover from that. It changes you to the point that you don't recognize or like yourself.
I believe in marriage, just take off your blinders first.
-
strawberry cake
Dear Takethat it is just plain awful. How do they get away with this? So many wonderful, spiritual people, who just want to serve God and do what's right are having their lives ruined by the evil directives from the GB... I too know of someone who committed suicide. She was 44. She had hoped and prayed that she would one day find some to marry. She was a kind, loving person, who would take time to visit sick one, talk to the children and would make a point of saying hello to as many people as she could at the meetings. She would also, often arrange restaurant trips. She was well loved..(I thought)..She took an overdose ... When she died..the elders played the whole thing down. There was a lot of 'whispering' going on ..People wanted to know what happened. So one elder said from the platform...."It doesn't matter how she died. She's dead!!" I couldn't believe how insensitive he was! They were not even sure how to handle this suicide and were very slow to give comfort to her family. The family were very hurt by this...After the funeral, she seemed to be forgotten so quickly. It was weird. I feel SO grateful to have wised up. xxx Strawberry cake
-
LouBelle
I haven't loved anyone so I can't tell you - I mean I've had some great likes. Gosh am I doing something wrong here - I was in that organisation for 28 years - couldn't find anyone to love there - the boys were far too shallow, pig headed.........
-
Awakened07
Isn't it almost an unanswerable question? Those who 'have loved and lost' won't know how it feels 'never to have loved', and those who 'never have loved', won't know how it feels to 'have loved and lost'. None of them can compare themselves with the other side.
That said, being one of those who have never (been) loved, I must say I would prefer to have loved and lost, if for no other reason than to have it in my history so that I could tell myself "Well, it happened once, it can happen again". At this stage in my life, I don't have any great hopes for that. So I know how it feels never to have (been) loved, at least. I guess that's something...