I just received a message from one of my closest friends. We grew up together and were/are as close as brothers. His father was like a second dad to me…he died two days ago after two weeks in the hospital. I’m 1,000 miles away, the funeral is in one hour from now. We had not spoken in 10 years or more.
The religious group we both were a part of makes the rules about who we can and cannot talk to in several ways. This relationship was affected by just one method. He was judged by several men to be an unrepentant sinner, and then announced as disfellowshipped, which meant to the rest of us that we could “not even share a meal” with him. If we saw him in public it meant turning and walking the other direction, or at the most, a tight smile and a nod. It’s common for parents of people who have been disfellowshipped to refer to their children as already dead, if they even refer to them at all. Wills are changed, names are not allowed to be uttered, and a phone call results in a dead line as soon as the caller is identified. "Family" becomes a word that means abandoned.
He was a troubled person, but also a good man overall. He saw things I could never have imagined and made the best decisions he could. I can’t say anything about him that could not be applied to me. By the time I learned enough to be free of the control of the group, I had lost touch with almost everyone I knew, either because I had just moved away or it was obvious I do not practice the religion anymore. In any case, I had hoped to get to see him when I went back this time. But now it will never happen.
Two friends of mine have each recently lost their fathers, one a couple of days ago, and another in June, each has not spoken to their father for a considerable amount of time, and one of them was not allowed to visit her dad on his deathbed, because she does not believe in the same religion as him. My brother died in August, fortunately for me I had told him I loved him a week prior, but that doesn’t make up for the 10 years before that when we couldn’t speak to each other. We lose our families twice, some even more often. It makes the last time so much harder than it should be, so many words left unspoken.
This is why I try to share stories about what happens to us. No one knows who we are, no one knows there are religious groups that control every aspect of people’s lives including stripping away the families that we all need in order to have emotional balance. They take these things using the Bible and a self proclaimed insight into God’s will, along with varied degrees and methods of mind control. Once a group shows up and begins to actively share the methods and motivations of these groups, they are wiped away by attorneys paid with money provided by the same people who are being victimized.
One day, perhaps we and the courts of our societies will see freedom of religion protects INDIVIDUAL freedom, not the freedom of the Organizations to use whatever tactics they see fit to maintain their margins.
Some of us lose our families twice because of these groups. They call those of us who left and do not believe in their self proclaimed position of being God’s Messenger “Apostates”. To our families and loved ones we used to know we are called liars, immoral, and described as a dog returning to its vomit. Yet we watch as old articles are rewritten or referred to as “old light” because the predictions in them did not come true. We watch our parents grow old and die with barely enough resources to survive into their natural retirement. We watch children die from refusing tested and proven medical treatments to protect the Organization from lawsuits as a result of a flawed policy based on everything but the truth. One day there will be enough of us to call these groups to an accounting for their abuse of position, and I hope I live to see it.
2 Corinthians 11: 13-15
13 For such men are false apostles, deceitful workers, transforming themselves into apostles of Christ. 14 And no wonder, for Satan himself keeps transforming himself into an angel of light. 15 It is therefore nothing great if his ministers also keep transforming themselves into ministers of righteousness. But their end shall be according to their works.
WLG