You don't have children. That's a big plus here. That said, if you loved each other, you will miss each other. But, sometimes divorce is inevitable. I've been through two of them. I should have never married either one of them.
Marital Separation - Your Experiences
by Bourne 23 Replies latest jw experiences
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choosing life
Separation can teach some good lessons. None of us know when we may be left alone. It is good to know you could handle it, if necessary.
I have a strong belief in making marriage last, if possilble. The watchtower does not share this belief if one of the mates is not open to their indoctrination. They even go beyond the scriptural reason that Jesus gave for divorce-adultery. I believe they call it "absolute spiritual endangerment."
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megawatt
^ That's what I'm afraid of. The wife and I love each other and believe it would still work outside the Organization ( Been fading for 1.5 years now and recently told my wife about my feeling towards the ORG and it's history) but you never know what the end result might turn out to be.
I've heard about this "spiritual endangerment" and as a means to get a divorce outside of adultery. Maybe it's new light or "new truth" (rolleyes)...
Keep us posted, Bourne. People here a very supportive and it's shocking to see how many people are going through the same thing... -
esw1966
I'm a bit embarrassed to say this as it is nothing I would have ever expected and it does not speak to my original intent of marriage.
Separation, in my case divorce, was the best thing that ever happened to me!
I loved my wife. I knew her since I was 9 and she was 4. We always got along. I have 3 wonderful daughters who I loved with all my heart. So, to remain in that marriage was my full goal and intent. I was a full believer in jw up to the end of my marriage.
I believe that all my relationships in jw, including my own parents, were abusive relationships. I would never have thought that while in jw. I would have figured it was all my fault, if only I could be better. Therefore, I was never really loved.
Getting out put me in touch with reality and into loving relationships! My life is so awesome to me for the last two years. I have been given a second chance at life and I have never been happier. I now have a relationship with Christ and he has blessed me beyond my comprehension.
I mourn for my ex-wife and daughters. I see them as oppressed and depressed and running the hamster wheel of 'salvation'. Their lives are futile and they are lost. What a sad existence.
It was hard to leave. But if I had never been given the boot, I never would have figured it out and I would have been trapped for a lifetime. Now, I seek to help them. I try to help my dad, my sister, my ex, and my three daughters see things more clearly. They are lost! My hope is for my daughters. In my heart, I believe God will save one of them. So, I do my best at showing them love as they have never received unconditional love from anyone else in their life including me while I lived with them as a jw.
I believe you should use your separation as a time of growth. Seek God, love, and righteousness. You can't go wrong by doing the right thing in life, it will always come back to you for the good. After my marriage, I considered my life as 'over' and I chose to help other people in daily life. My life was over and I had no where to go to make it better, so I figured I should be of assistance to others. That thought process helped me to accept people and start to learn from others. It made me a servant to others needs. After a while, I was able to take my life by the reins and it is full throttle go to achieving the life I always wanted while helping others to achieve their goals. Love and grace, relationships and Christ, to me, that is everything!
Hope all goes well with you! I'm sure it will! Keep first things first. Always take the high road. Show love and acceptance everywhere you go. Learn from the past. Don't dwell on the past. Forgive your ex-wife. Love her, yet realize this may be for the best for both of you. The secret is the love and forgiveness in Christ. Accepting it and giving it. It means life and joy.