I always knew others had the same thoughts and ideas as I had ... but I never could have imagined that it was on this large of a scale. Wow ... people who understand and will not judge.
Little about me:
I am the son of an elder. (This of course has always come first.) Parents both baptized before I was born, so this is all knew. My eyes opened to the REAL truth in my early twenties, although I was do things to rebel as early as 14. Grew up crazy poor because my father was insistent that 'Jah would provide', so he worked part time cleaning carpets and pioneered. (Lord knows I could talk for hours on that alone.). I have been married to a wonderful woman for 3 years now, but since she is not a JW and we lived together for a year before we got married, they did not come to the wedding. They have little or no communication with us because of that, yet they blame me. My wife does not understand. I try to explain it to her, but it is beyond her. How could someone that has not lived it understand? I was married before to a witness that cheated on me repeatedly, yet the parents supported that situation (and still do) more than they ever will this one. .
I have one sister that has been disfellowshiped twice and reinstated. Her only goal is pleasing our father. She has wrapped herself into a pretzel trying to do so, without understanding that nothing is ever enough.
On top of it all, and the thing that bothers me the most, I am a failure in my fathers eyes. With no hope or direction of college or advance education (why would there be? We are all supposed to rely on 'him' and pioneer), I have made a good life for myself and my family. Nice modest house, bills are paid on time. I would consider myself a good person, twisted sense of humor sometimes, but good overall. Good to my friends and family. (Although my friends have become my extended family) But since I am no longer a Witness, and can now think for myself, I am a failure, and he has failed as a father. I know better, but it still aches every once and awhile.
Well ... wanted to say hi. Look forward to talking and chatting in the future. Nice to finally find like minded folks.