loving multiples

by chickpea 13 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse

  • chickpea

    sparkplug.... i dont know what to say ......except yeah, mate..... you have not just circled the candle.... you have touched the flame

    these people are so much more than their diagnosis....theirs is a deep rich and complex reality ..... if ever any of us think " d@mn my life is complicated",( and whose isnt!!??) imagine THAT intensity multiplied by a factor of "X" number of "others" vying for their voice, their place in the sun

    some systems are so chaotic, some are amazingly organized.... some supressed by disbelief of the core/birth person, some with actual timetables and schedules for appearances..... some are co-concious, others dont even know all the others in their own system...... male and female in the same system, variant sexual orientations........there is such variety it is impossible to enumerate

    further complicate the chaos with a misinformed or ignorant public, a debating body of "authority" undecided as to the legitimacy of your reality, and kooks willing to tell you ( and all who are inside and LISTENING) that they should "burn the demons at the cross of jesus"...... oh yeah! if it isnt like me or mine lets bomb it, shoot it, torch it, kill 'em all and let god sort 'em out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! arrrgh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    loving them is the easy part, summoning the patience to deal with their issues is what gets sticky/maddening/impossibly complex..... my involvement is marginal for most of these treasures, only one is actually part of my ongoing life... i live on a separate continent from some and know others only thru a support forum ..... i just offer what i can in terms of emotional support because there are no solutions, just strategies to cope

    one shopping trip with my mate mentioned above, we split up and arranged to meet back at a certain time and place.... except she didnt show..... seems the 5 YO "saw" one of those chocolate fountains in a candy shoppe and just like sparkplug stated.... bam! a 5 YO in a candy shoppe.... i found my friend nearly half hour later, chagrined and flustered... seems the wee one called the husband just gushing over the fountain and the splendour of her surroundings and he "called" the wife back to herself ( after a treat was procurred for the wee one!)

    imagine the nightmare of having a life..... and in late adolescence, coming out of an abusive teacher/student scenario, stressed in college courses, suddenly being told by an instructor they were taking you to an intervention facility because an alter ( a WHAT?) had sent an email about su!c!de..... how do you wrap your head around that?! finding notes to yourself from your "selves" ? learning that the you who you thought you were/are is NOT the birth person, not the core of the system, but a competent insider on the outside running the life..... (((((((((((d******))))))))))....... being terrified if you LET THE SYSTEM EXPRESS ITSELF YOU WILL DISAPPEAR FOREVER or learn about horrors of abuse so henious and evil that you are certain you will die from the knowing of them

    it is at once a difficult and essentially simple concept to grasp..... out of one, many...... i do realize it is considered "a disorder" but it is also an elegant intelligence of incredible "order" that allowed for the survival of an entity that may or may not one day be whole again..... even as i sit playing a game or narrating a safe and cozy good night ritual of sailing to the shores of the dreamtime, fully invested in that moment and fully believing it is a 5 YO listening to the words, needing that moment of comfort...... always lurking is the realization that it was a moment of unimaginable, suffocating desperation and an unconquerable will to survive that allowed for such a one to exist

    disfellowship THAT you pompous pox of a blight on the planet!! may god repay you in kind

  • aSphereisnotaCircle

    I've thought a lot about your post Chickpea.

    I remember something that is rather telling. The elders in the local halls were not very good at keeping secrets. Because of several elders in my family, I heard all the gossip in the local halls and the details whenever anyone got DFed.

    The young sis I mentioned above was the only daughter of a single sister. She started cutting herself and her mother sought help wherever she could find it. It came out that her uncle had molested her repeatedly as a very small child. Then the mom remembered that the same uncle had molested her too. They sought help and that is when the daughter was diagnosed with DID. Shortly after that she was DF'd obviously for something one of her personalities did.

    The telling part is I never heard any gossip about what this girl did. Apparently none of the elders wanted to talk about this one case. I wonder why? Feeling a little guilty maybe about what they did?

    My god, this girl was like 18, she was cutting herself repeatedly, she kept covered up and would never allow the sunlight to touch her skin. I never ever once saw her smile.

    But yeah, that's the kind of people Jah kicks out of the congregation, can't you just feel the love?

  • chickpea

    aSphereisnotaCircle.... i have thought about your post too.... and it occurred to me that the humane thing to have done for this young woman would have been to invalidate/delete her baptism due to the extenuating factors of mental health issues which effectively removes the JW label..... instead of fueling an already raging fire with their "loving provision" to keep the congregation clean by telling her she is an unrepentant sinner....

    i mean come on!!! three grown, supposedly intellignet, men would have had to "interview" her somewhat in depth to determine her fitness for baptism..... did not ONE of them actually SEE her?!?!

    oh yeah, the love just oozes

  • MMae

    Chick pea and all other posters with deep insight on this subject - God bless you. I could have used a few of you when going through my years of experiencing DID. Fortunately I did link up with a very kind counselor, and a terrific support group. My JW relatives (by marriage), including my husband, accused me of being demonized, and counseled me stop going to those "quacks" (meaning my physician and mental health counselor.)

    It has been years since new frightening memories have surfaced, which seemed the precursor to my "splitting." Today I still have difficulty coping with stress - I tend to feel overwhelmed and go into shut-down. But, I no longer have certain aspects of my personality come forward to defend other more defenseless and frightened aspects of my personality.

    Several years ago I wrote a poem about having alter egos to rely on when you needed them. The poem had a double applicaton to true friends. I'm affraid that I'm not sure where it is. (Lots of stuff in storage after last move.) And my poor memory, which plagues me since my nervous breakdown, and likely contributed to by on-going need for medication, not to mention old age! doesn't allow me to recall it. But, sometime I would like to share it.

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