loving multiples

by chickpea 13 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse

  • chickpea
    chickpea

    loving multiples is about being friends with people who are DID, what used to be called multiple personality disorder

    what is disordered, what is askance, what is forever damnable is the reason these splendiferous souls are so fragmented....... the horrific abuse foisted on them by the souless perversions of humanity that harmed them to their very cores, and beyond

    my beloved (((((snicks))))), a gorgeous junoesque brit with the flaming red hair of her norse ancestors, towering above me at 6 feet, whose inner system populates a castle... i had the rare and distnctive privilege of naming her 18 YO alter, she who held the music, who used her age as her designation as she felt undeserving of even a name to be known by ...... her 3 and 5 YOs who sat with me on the parlour floor and learned to make balloon animals.... the 10 YO keeper of anger, the worst assignment in the system, because there is rarely ever peace for them in the swirl of chaos and upheaval that is the toxic residue of their moment of creation...... the sweet 8 YO who remained hidden for years even after the others were found.... who cried because i was leaving and she had not been "out" to meet me...... you cannot begin to know the joy i had seeing her laugh while i read her a book and did all the voices and animal sounds

    it had to look ridiculous! this woman is nothing if not impressive in stature, and yet she would sit scrunched up next to me on the floor to have a better look at the pictures in the book and suck her thumb and giggle around it like a toddler when i trumpeted like a heffalump .... she may be adult in size but her total demeanour, her face and eyes, somehow transform..... and i watch as she is transported into the realm of what SHOULD HAVE BEEN INNOCENCE and see her delighted by bubbles or terrified by flashbacks and memories of unspeakable criminality

    she is one of several i know, and each has several, some have many, inner dwellers..... they have to be some of the most special people in the world and to have them as friends and be allowed the honour of knowing their systems gives a depth of meaning to my life that never would have occurred had i knocked on a million doors

    THIS is what i have come to consider a "ministry".... walking a healing path with the most wounded among us...... survivors of CSA

  • Fatfreek
    Fatfreek

    Beautifully described, Chickpea.

    i had the rare and distnctive privilege of naming her 18 YO alter

    And she, the rare and distinctive privilege of having you by her side.

    Len

  • aSphereisnotaCircle
    aSphereisnotaCircle

    We had a sweet young sister in our congo that had multiplies.

    The Society does not recognize this condition, they DFed her shortly after she was diagnosed.

    I don't have DID, but I have a 5 year old self and a 15 year old self. If I am distressed about anything, I need to have a talk with one of those selves, and that is where I find the source of my distress.

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    I too have been profoundly blessed with the trust a few people have given to me over the years. I did a group session with a few of my clients - 9 bodies in the rooms but over 100 parts.

    That trust was hard won by each alter. Slowly their different parts came out to meet me, to warn me, to guide me. I was honored by that gift of trust.

    I learned so much from each and every one of them.

  • VoidEater
    VoidEater

    Wow...and again...I feel humbled and fascinated, and privileged to be in this thread.

  • chickpea
    chickpea
    The Society does not recognize this condition

    yet another reason to dismiss the collective powers as wankers

    it is without question an interesting circumstance to be the only mono-mind in a gathering with multiples, but i wouldnt trade the people or the experience for paradise on earth

  • BabaYaga
    BabaYaga

    Wow. Thank you.

    ...and to aSphere... how horrible! I wonder why am I even surprised by your words? I'm afraid there are many, MANY real conditions that the WTBTS doesn't "recognize".

  • Sparkplug
    Sparkplug

    It is not only JW's that do not acknowledge this. Insurance companies do not either. Often I was told if diagnosed with this in order to get treatment and it be covered by insurance a doctor may have to name it something else. I guess there is a high percent of people with this that will turn about and sue the provider also. So It is a sticky subject.

    Having recently read information on this, I was told a person does not actually have to split personalities to have this.

  • Depersonalization disorder(DSM-IV Codes 300.6 [2] ) - periods of detachment from self or surrounding which may be experienced as "unreal" (lacking in control of or "outside of" self) while retaining awareness that this is only a feeling and not a reality.
  • Dissociative Amnesia(DSM-IV Codes 300.12 [3] ) - noticeable impairment of recall resulting from emotional trauma
  • Yeah the above is from Wikipedia, but my research papers are still at the doctors.

    Mayo Clinic has this information to follow

    Signs and symptoms

    There are four major dissociative disorders:

    • Dissociative amnesia
    • Dissociative identity disorder
    • Dissociative fugue
    • Depersonalization disorder

    Symptoms common to all types of dissociative disorders include:

    • Memory loss (amnesia) of certain time periods, events and people
    • Mental health problems, including depression and anxiety
    • A sense of being detached from yourself (depersonalization)
    • A perception of the people and things around you as distorted and unreal (derealization)
    • A blurred sense of identity

    Each of the four major dissociative disorders is characterized by a distinct mode of dissociation. Dissociative disorder symptoms may include:

    • Dissociative amnesia. Memory loss that's more extensive than normal forgetfulness and can't be explained by a physical or neurological condition is the hallmark of this condition. Sudden-onset amnesia following a traumatic event, such as a car accident, happens infrequently. More commonly, conscious recall of traumatic periods, events or people in your life — especially from childhood — is simply absent from your memory.
    • Dissociative identity disorder. This condition, formerly known as multiple personality disorder, is characterized by "switching" to alternate identities when you're under stress. In dissociative identity disorder, you may feel the presence of one or more other people talking or living inside your head. Each of these identities may have their own name, personal history and characteristics, including marked differences in manner, voice, gender and even such physical qualities as the need for corrective eyewear. There often is considerable variation in each alternate personality's familiarity with the others. People with dissociative identity disorder typically also have dissociative amnesia.
    • Dissociative fugue. People with this condition dissociate by putting real distance between themselves and their identity. For example, you may abruptly leave home or work and travel away, forgetting who you are and possibly adopting a new identity in a new location. People experiencing dissociative fugue typically retain all their faculties and may be very capable of blending in wherever they end up. A fugue episode may last only a few hours or, rarely, as long as many months. Dissociative fugue typically ends as abruptly as it begins. When it lifts, you may feel intensely disoriented, depressed and angry, with no recollection of what happened during the fugue or how you arrived in such unfamiliar circumstances.
    • Depersonalization disorder. This disorder is characterized by a sudden sense of being outside yourself, observing your actions from a distance as though watching a movie. It may be accompanied by a perceived distortion of the size and shape of your body or of other people and objects around you. Time may seem to slow down, and the world may seem unreal. Symptoms may last only a few moments or may wax and wane over many years.

    Causes

    Dissociative disorders usually develop as a mechanism for coping with trauma. The disorders most often form in children subjected to chronic physical, sexual or emotional abuse or, less frequently, a home environment that is otherwise frightening or highly unpredictable.

    Personal identity is still forming during childhood, and during these malleable years a child is more able than is an adult to step outside herself or himself and observe trauma as though it's happening to a different person. A child who learns to dissociate in order to endure an extended period of his or her youth may reflexively use this coping mechanism in response to stressful situations throughout life.

    Complications

    People with a dissociative disorder are at increased risk of complications that include:

    • Self-mutilation
    • Suicide attempts
    • Sexual dysfunction, including sexual addiction or avoidance
    • Alcoholism and substance abuse
    • Depression
    • Sleep disorders, including nightmares, insomnia and sleepwalking
    • Anxiety disorders
    • Eating disorders
    • Severe headaches

    Dissociative disorders are also associated with significant difficulties in relationships and at work. People with these conditions often aren't able to cope well with emotional or professional stress, and their dissociative reactions — from tuning out to disappearing — may distress loved ones and cause colleagues to view them as unreliable.

    Treatment

    Psychotherapy is the primary treatment for dissociative disorders. This form of therapy, also known as talk therapy, counseling or psychosocial therapy, involves talking about your disorder and related issues with a mental health professional. Your therapist will work to help you understand the cause of your condition and to form new ways of coping with stressful circumstances.

    Psychotherapy for dissociative disorders often involves techniques, such as hypnosis, that help you remember and work through the trauma that triggered your dissociative symptoms. The course of your psychotherapy may be long and painful, but this treatment approach often is very effective in treating dissociative disorders.

    Other dissociative disorder treatment may include:

    • Creative art therapy. This type of therapy uses the creative process to help people who might have difficulty expressing their thoughts and feelings. Creative arts can help you increase self-awareness, cope with symptoms and traumatic experiences, and foster positive changes. Creative art therapy includes art, dance and movement, drama, music and poetry.
    • Cognitive therapy. This type of talk therapy helps you identify unhealthy, negative beliefs and behaviors and replace them with healthy, positive ones. It's based on the idea that your own thoughts — not other people or situations — determine how you behave. Even if an unwanted situation has not changed, you can change the way you think and behave in a positive way.
    • Medication. Although there are no medications that specifically treat dissociative disorders, your doctor may prescribe antidepressants, anti-anxiety medications or tranquilizers to help control the mental health symptoms associated with dissociative disorders.

    Complementary and alternative medicine

    Your therapist may recommend using hypnosis, which is sometimes referred to as hypnotherapy or hypnotic suggestion, as part of your treatment for a dissociative disorder.

    Hypnosis creates a state of deep relaxation and quiets the mind. When you're hypnotized, you can concentrate intensely on a specific thought, memory, feeling or sensation while blocking out distractions. Because you're more open than usual to suggestions while under hypnosis, there is some controversy that therapists may unintentionally "implant" false memories by suggestion. However, when conducted under the care of a trained therapist, hypnosis is generally safe as a complementary treatment method.

    http://www.nmha.org/index.cfm?objectId=C7DF8D4E-1372-4D20-C86C22067E838DF0

    The above link also had some interesting information.

  • Sparkplug
    Sparkplug

    I was thinking on this more...

    and it really sucks.

    You get treated like shit as a kid...

    so you loose your memory of it.

    You don't even know you did it. It is just gone.

    So when you are older and things get crappy, your mind just drops memories, dumps thoughts, loses time, disorients you, can make you be a cold person and unmoving if you are hurt too much. You just cut it all off.

    So as an adult, things people normally can work through or respond to, a person with this just has a crap time. They still lose people, memories, find themselves having acted like they would not "knowingly" and then they find themselves alone.

    How is that for fair?

    It takes big people to understand at that. Most people don't, think you are using it as a ploy..confused by you. Don't understand why you act one way and then another. They have no clue how you can love them more than anything in the world, but if it gets too much, you will forget them talking to you, you will forget that you love them, you will forget them all and just turn it off. They can be trying to save your life and you will sit there cold as ice if you don't trust them.

    Later people may talk to you about something that meant soooooo much...but you cannot recall. Perhaps it touched you too deep and *POOF* it is gone. If it made you recall your past, or was reminiscent of something you are not ready to face...you just drop it. Not on purpose by any means, but truly, it is gone and only patient people can see that you still are just as smart as anyone, just as caring, just as deserving and you are not a f%ckup...sometimes all it takes is a person spending 30 extra seconds to help you recall. Or a day.

    Often people confuse you for lying, because you start to recall something and it seems one way and if you ponder a few more minutes you can sort your head out and remember it all....

    But most people don't love enough to do it, it is out of their capabilities or they don't want to be embarrased by being with someone who has this. Perhaps they just don't want to try that hard. Because it is hard. It makes the person who has it seem so flighty and ever changing. When all it takes is a bit of love. A bit of caring and a moment extra.

    Nobody with it, I don't think, is aware they are doing it when they forget...they just need to be aware they are capable of it and be capable of sorting out what they could have done or not.

    Often people who don't care enough or want to take advantage will try to plant things in you that they want you to think you did. Sad thing is they cannot understand where the line is crossed as to what you can and cannot remember and it is seen through. It really makes you hate people that attempt it. It is the ultimate form of abuse.

    Anyhow...I will let someone else rant for a moment.

    No I will continue. It is hard on kids of parents with this. They have to understand and often with a childs mind it is confusing and they don't want to have to help out sort out the grown ups mind. And it can hurt if you have done things that were detremental and you don't recall. It is hard.

    Now that is all I am saying. For now.

  • Sparkplug
    Sparkplug

    I'm not done, It makes it hard on work. If you are having a hard time, you just forget there are things to do. If things are rough, you forget, work gets jacked up, the more stress the less you can function, the more trouble you get in...and well it keeps going.

    Then nightmares...that you wil forget things. Like that you have a kid, or that you will forget to go to work, or crazy things. ....Just horrible nightmares. Or worse..when they come true. You forget you have work. Forget the day. Drive up and do an errand because you thought you got a phone call from a friend that just needed this or that. But it wasn't...It was a dream and there you stand looking like a boob.

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