Reinstated 5 yrs ago

by Treebe 26 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • TMS
    TMS

    Treebe,

    Do you know why you are feeling this pain? There is no God involved in this process. This is a man-made organization with man-made rules.

    Do you want your children to grow up with the same regimentation of their lives? Are you willing to shun them when they make bad choices and receive congregational discipline?

    Your best move is to leave this controlling cult and not look back. Give your children the best education and life they can have. Support and nurture them. This cult will quelch every bit of creativity out of you and your children.

    Your best move? Leave Jehovah's Witnesses.

    There is a better life for you and your kids.

    tms

  • chicken little
    chicken little

    Dear Treebie,

    My husband was an elder over 20 years and a good one in the sense of really caring for people. He hated judical hearings and was never one of the eager ones to jump at the chance to act as judge. One unmarried sister with 2 small children was reproved in the cong. and later needed help as she was pregnant and had complications. My husband and I did all we could to look after her two boys while she was in hospital and encourage her not to take the unkind comments (she brought it on herself) to heart. I remember even years after sisters talking about her as the one who got pregnant not long after she was baptized. I even asked one sister why she spoke of anothers past problems when Jehovah had forgiven the sister, was it loving to do that. My advice is if you really want to stay with the organization then write a letter to the body of elders. Explain that you are doing all you can to stay in the truth and that you need support and encourgement. Ask them to check in their elders manual to see how a case such as yours should be dealt with and stress the point that you are deeply sad and depressed over the situation, quote a scripture.....james 5.13,14 might help jog them. Give them a copy and send a copy to the branch office.

    When you first come on this site you may feel you have done something wrong and feel you should not log on here again, I felt like that too.

    But remember behind some of the tough words you may come across, you will find people that like you have had a terrible battle to be accepted or approved by a very small group of people, they have then decieded that they no longer want to be part of that group. This forum gives the chance for people to say how they feel.

    Thinking of you with a hug too

    chicken little

  • TJ - iAmCleared2Land
    TJ - iAmCleared2Land

    Welcome to our web family, Trebe. ((hugs)) to you and your kids!

    I was an elder before I left a couple years ago... let me assure you that FIVE YEARS on restrictions from commenting is unheard of. We're talking a serious lack of follow-through by your elders. If getting those privileges back is something YOU want, then yes, you should be taking this to the next level... talk to the circuit overseer. You don't have to wait til the next time he comes around... get his number from one of the elders (if not in your hall, then from a neighboring congregation).

    This kind of abuse of the friends by shepherd neglect makes me ill...

  • TJ - iAmCleared2Land
    TJ - iAmCleared2Land
    I would like to encourage you to find true happiness elsewhere.

    Actually, here is where she'll start to find it... not there!

  • TJ - iAmCleared2Land
    TJ - iAmCleared2Land
    TMS said: One of my lowest points as an elder: I encouraged a young married sister to consider auxiliary pioneering. She looked at me quizzically. "You've never restored my privileges! I can't pioneer or even comment yet." I felt about an inch high. It was a terrible injustice. There is no real system in place to monitor the restoration of privileges for reinstated persons. It totally depends on the alertness of the elders and the aggressiveness of the one reinstated.

    This is 100% spot on. Even when we were trying to be alert, things fell through the cracks. There are no forms, no formal review, no process to ensure that people don't languish in a state of despair over their privileges being restored. I saw what TMS describes many times during my service as an elder... and honestly, it wasn't malicious, there was just more process, procedures, and forms built around ensuring the KH was maintained properly than there was around making sure the people were cared for, especially those that were struggling to return post-discipline.

    You've seen it yourself... there are more reminders in the Kingdom Ministry to the PO to ensure the congregation accounts get audited than there are to make sure the ones with restrictions in place, or missing meetings, or in poor health get a visit from the shepherds...

  • Roddy
    Roddy

    I am just trying to understand what my choices are. I have been reinstated for just over 5 yrs and still have not had my privileges back. I am a single mom and have been to all the meeting that we can, doing our best outside of kids colds and flu's, not to mention car trouble, but I have always turned in my time each month and study reports, but still I can not answer.

    Maybe wherever you did was really "bad"? Do you know if you are being "punished" for bad reputation or something?

    I find it inconsistant that for five years they will allow you to go door-to-door representing the congregation yet not allow you personal expression in the kingdom hall. I wonder if you are allowed personal expression at the book study? I wonder if shepherding calls were ever made to you in these five years? I wonder if anyone has encouraged you for your efforts as a single mom - a kind word, something for the gas for your car, help with the kids, invite you over for tea and a little adult conversation, little things like that? Do they reject your financial support too?

    You have an unloving congregation.

    I know this seems hard but you need to find another congregation or find another religion.

    If the PO or CO has seen nothing "wrong" with the congregation's consideration of you for five years, it is not going to get fixed now just for you. Sadly, this is so unlike the illustration of Jesus' about the good shepherd who left behind 99 sheep to find the one lost sheep.

    You got some prayerful thinking to do! May Jehovah give you insight.

  • Roddy
    Roddy
    TMS said : One of my lowest points as an elder: I encouraged a young married sister to consider auxiliary pioneering. She looked at me quizzically. "You've never restored my privileges! I can't pioneer or even comment yet." I felt about an inch high. It was a terrible injustice. There is no real system in place to monitor the restoration of privileges for reinstated persons. It totally depends on the alertness of the elders and the aggressiveness of the one reinstated.

    This is 100% spot on. Even when we were trying to be alert, things fell through the cracks. There are no forms, no formal review, no process to ensure that people don't languish in a state of despair over their privileges being restored. I saw what TMS describes many times during my service as an elder... and honestly, it wasn't malicious, there was just more process, procedures, and forms built around ensuring the KH was maintained properly than there was around making sure the people were cared for, especially those that were struggling to return post-discipline.

    Yet they keep all sorts of paperwork both in the congregation's files and at the branch office or Bethel office of every detail of your judicial committee meetings and disfellowshipping. Permanent record too!

    Forget for a copy of anything they write about you that's on file - just to check for accuracy. Such files "doesn't exist".

    Rather sick when you think about it!

    I think the only way to counter all the negative files they have against you is to sell your house, give all the money to the WTS, and enter missionary work to wherever country they send you.

    Then maybe you can return to the congregation after five years, be invited to come up to the stage duing the Service Meeting, and share some of your personal field service experiences!

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