What do I tell the kids?

strawberry cake

I am quickly fading, desperate to leave. My children, however have been brought up JWs and are used to the JW way of life and ethos. I have told them how I feel. The older ones are continuing with the routine..ministry, talks, meetings. The younger one does what we do..but has friends in the congregation...I would be grateful for advise or experiences to help me deal with this transition.

journey-on

So heartbreaking, isn't it? Are your older children baptized?

babygirl75

Welcome to the board....

The board will give you a lot of info regarding the religion. You can discuss with your kids the information that you have found to support your decision to leave. Hopefully they will be open to hear what you have to say.

Wish you all the best!!

babygirl...

strawberry cake

My oldest is baptized, the younger 2 are publishers. My children are popular in the congregation. Their closest friends are exclusively JWS.

MissingLink

How old are they?

strawberry cake

Aged 20, 16 and 12

changeling

I'm writting you a PM.

changeling

TJ - iAmCleared2Land

Is the 20-year-old still at home? For him/her, I agree with the explaining that somebody else mentioned--your reasoned decision as to why you're leaving.

For the 16-year-old... maybe. Let me tell you how it's gone with my 3 girls, now ages 17, 15 (almost 16) and 13 (almost 14).

We were uber-spiritual... one of the 'cornerstones' of the congregation if you ask anybody. My girls were popular, but with the 'faithful', not with the 'in' crowd of kids. You said your kids are popular--if it's with the 'in' crowd, the 'popular' kids, you're probably not going to have any problem pulling them away from a WTS routine of life.

With my girls, I'm lucky that my wife (who is still a JW) and my kids stopped attending meetings regularly. They say the reason they stopped was so as not to unduly add to my stress, as they know that JW stuff really 'gets' to me. I think, based on things my wife has said, attitudes she's voiced, that she doesn't 'buy' everything JW's teach, or at least how the organization is ran. She's voiced the words 'the good-ole-boys-club' before.

Now, with the kids not attending meetings regularly, my wife has been very open about letting the kids do things we didn't let them do before... they hang out regularly with both witness friends and friends from school, sometimes at the same time (when it's at our house). They go to their school friends' homes, go meet them for lunch or movies or other activities. My oldest is participating on an OVERNIGHT away trip this weekend in the Academic Decathalon, traveling and staying with non-JW kids and chaperones, without my wife or I along, something we would never have permitted when we were 'in'.

And you know what? Our kids are HAPPY, they are having FUN, they LOVE their new life, and they DON'T MISS THE MEETINGS.

Just let your kids be kids... let them live a "normal" life, be an active and concerned parent, but not a domineering controlling JW one.

You won't have to "prove" your stand to them. They'll see how much better it is, all on their own.

Just my 2 cents worth.... I wish you the best!!!

momzcrazy

I recently faded with my 3 kids. Your 20 yr old I don't know about. But you could try with your other two: Let them slowly do more things at school. Clubs, sports, newspaper, etc. Gradually start allowing worldly friends. Do things as a family away from the truth. Go to concerts, plays, anything like that. Then slowly start tapering off service. Then meetings. Then parts and talks. Plan fun activites with maybe some neighbor friends on Sunday morning after you have started fading. I stressed to my kids how Jehovah gave us a mind to make decisions with and the Bible to guide us. But in the org. we aren't allowed to do so. I wanted us to make decisions as a family. I pointed out that all their worldly friends were going to die according to the truth. I asked them to find in the Bible where it says that they are wicked. Replace what they are losing by leaving.

That's a good starting point. It should take some time to reach all of these.

Good luck.

strawberry cake

Thank you all so much for your caring advice.. xxx Strawberry Cake.

What do I tell the kids?

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