"Bad association, spoils useful habits"

WingCommander

Anyone who was raised a JW like myself, immediately cringes at the site or sound of this quotation (From 1 Cor I believe?). As a child and especially a teenager, this quote even above others was most rammed down my throat like bad medicine. It was the end-all, be-all quote to stop any discussion that might lead to any kind of fun or "normal" childhood activity outside of JW's. (Sometimes in; you have to watch for those pesky inactive families!!)

Anyway, what happens when we apply it to the WTBS? Lets see, shall we?

1. No more useful critical thinking skills.

2. No more independant thinking for yourself.

3. No more non-JW family association.

4. No furthering your education.

5. No useful social skills, as you are an outkast to any normal social situations.

6. No time for yourself, no hobbies.

I could go on and on, but basically when you are living the life of a JW you turn into a recluse. I know, my parents were basically recluses the entire time they were active JW's, and even when they were going through inactive periods. Just shut down....let the WTBS run your entire life and social circumstances for you. What a way to live, but yet my entire childhood was basically like living in a prison state. I wasn't allowed to play with ANY neighbourhood children and basically spent my 1-17 years in my room after school trying to keep myself busy, doing chores, or going to meetings in order to keep from going insane.

Looking back, how in the world did being affiliated with the WTBS ENCOURAGE any useful habits? It didn't, besides studying proof texts from the Bible and learning to underline in different colored markers. Good association you might ask? Of whom? The uptight, pious Elders or wanna-be MS? Sister Old&Nosey? Brother McFeely? How about Tattle-tale-Elder's-Son-Can-Do-No-Wrong-But-Acts-Like-A-Heathen-At-School? Those JW kids were my favorite, as 99% of the time they were worse than the so-called "Worldly" children at school, complete heathens always manipulating everyone and trying to get away with murder. Hardly anyone suspected them as JW's eitther as they were good at living a double-life. Some of my worldly at-school friends didn't believe me when I told them that some of the other kids were JW's. So much for them being a good example by preaching to their school mates whenever possible, huh?

Anyone else with similar feelings or experiences? Share 'em if you got 'em.

Regards,

Wing Commander

daytona27

I don't think I could add anything that you haven't already stated very succinctly. It was all used as punishment and control, not as something beneficial. It was used to show what we couldn't or weren't allowed to do, instead of focusing on what we could do. "No, you can't go anywhere with the neighbors and their kids, but no, we're not taking you anywhere either."

Younglove1999

So true So true-

Then in an effor to make us feel better, they'd say things like "this could also apply within the congregation too". As if to assure us that JH notices these "double lifers" and will, in his own due time do something about it. Ie; we know what these kids are doing, and there's nothing we can do because their dad is the PO, plus it's only speculation, and we shouldn't gossip or label, but we will label others outside of the organization, so take that information and go home and study about why it's not ok to play the flute after midnight since it attracts demons and stop bothering us with your whining about legitamite issues.

Dogaradodya

Excuse me but I'm just dropping this bomb so I can be a Jedi in 100 days and be able to start Star Wars.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-aoUxKfHS9I

lfcviking

Good post mate. That's quite an education you've just given me there! An insight into the life of someone growing up in the 'Truth'. Well at least you're out of it now and can get on with enjoying your life with the rest of us 'Worldly' ones.

LFCv

DanTheMan

The aspect of it that used to bother me the most was the naivety with which the WT writers used this scripture in counseling the Christian Youths™, as if it all should be so obvious. This was one of many areas where over the years it became more and apparent to me that the leaders in Brooklyn are without a clue as to what life is like in the real world.

It was always presented as, 'why hang around kids from school or from the neighborhood? Surely it would be better to associate with those from the Christian Congregation, so that you will be built up, blah blah...'

I can tell you from personal experience and from observation that socializing with JW's, even (or perhaps especially!) the ones who are supposed to be Fine Examples™, can often be a less than upbuilding experience, to put it mildly (WC you make this point very well in your post). Not only that but every congo that I was associated with had a clique of cool kids that socialized together. And if you weren't socially adept enough to fit into this crowd, then forget it. You weren't going to get invited to anything, no matter how much you were trying to Put Jehovah First™.

dinah

I hear ya Dan.

When I hear that scripture quoted it makes me nauseous to this day. There were kids living double lives in my congo--almost all of them! But somehow it was better to be living a lie, than to be an honest worldly person. At least with the worldly person "what you see is what you get". With the Witness kids you just never knew.

They used that scripture constantly while trying to beat us kids into submission. I wish a GB member would have to trade places with a 12-year-old witness kid for a week (kinda like freaky friday). Then maybe they would get a CLUE about life in the real world where everyone doesn't kiss your behind.

WTWizard

That scripture is applied to worldly people because they might teach the witlesses some wits. Children might learn that it is not wrong to celebrate Christmas (Luke 2:10-14). They might learn that Jesus never went knocking on people's doors in territories like the witlesses do. Or, they might learn to actually have fun and not spend all their time in field circus.

I think it should well apply to the witlesses themselves. The worst associations are those trying to claim your whole life. They would go out of their way to censor every CD you have, make a fuss when you watch a movie, and are hounding you when you miss a boasting session (and not just noticing that you, or the kids, are sick). How often do the witlesses themselves spoil useful habits?

momzcrazy

When we moved to our current home we had left a very rural setting to a neighborhood. We moved into a wonderful neighborhood and made fast friends with a few families. All while I was dragging myself and kids to meetings. There were very nice people in the hall, but none that really made a huge effort to include my daughters. Our neighbors are always described as "good people". Have you met the ____ ? They are good people. Very moral and religious, without jamming it down our throats. They accepted our being Witnesses without a problem. They have been there to help, have fun and listen. So when I was considering leaving the borg I was explaining to my 12 yr old some of the endless rules of JWland. We had always let them have worldly friends, so she was very surprised when I told her about the WT bad association rule. Our nieghbors and worldy family were all BA. She asked, "But why?" Because they aren't Witnesses made no sense to her. She looked in Psalms about who Jehovah would have as friends and our worldly friends and family passed the test. That helped my daughter leave the borg in her heart. I guess their dumb rule backfired.

momz

TJ - iAmCleared2Land

Good post, WingCommander. My folks applied this scripture the same way, to exclude us from having any interaction with neighbor kids, etc. In fact, the only time we were allowed to ride our BIKES on the road in front of our house was if the neighbor kids weren't already out there doing it... if the neighbor kids came out, we had to ride our bikes in our long driveway, only.

This scripture (1 Cor 15:33) makes sense in only one context, now. When it is applied such that the "bad association" is the JW Organization:

"Do not be misled. God is not one to be mocked. Bad association spoils useful habits."

Yup. Like that whole list of "useful habits" (social skills, confidence, normal human interaction) that you listed in your post... all spoiled. The antidote, of course, is to now go GET some good association.

"Bad association, spoils useful habits" - Gag!