Laugh and the world laughs with you.

Abandoned

Cry and you're a whiner that's overstayed their welcome. I can understand why. I really can. Who wants to be around someone that brings them down? Nobody. And since we all have a limited amount of time to go mulling about the planet, we simply can't waste our precious seconds with those who are just too low

Well, I say BULLSHIT! Yeah, we might have better things to do than to be brought down by someone's annoying whining, but sometimes the annoying whining is the only thing keeping the person going. By the time the whining stops, the person may have stopped as well.

It's true, some people just like to complain. Some people just want attention. But maybe it's because they know they need it but they don't know how to ask for it. Maybe they aren't assholes, maybe they are in pain.

I met a young lady the other day at www.critiquecircle.com. She submitted a story that she listed as a "memoir." The lady in the story was in her early twenties and had the bad habit of calling 911 with the false report of a young girl being sexually molested. The authorities would come and find only her. She'd admit she made the call and they'd threaten to have her arrested for impeding their lifesaving work and then leave.

I don't know if her story was real anymore than I know if she was real. I only saw her words in a white box on my computer screen. But I think it's sad that someone so obviously in need of help would be ignored because she asked for it in the wrong way.

The bottom line is that not everybody knows how to function in our complex society. Even those who have found a moderate or greater level of success don't always know how to deal with the many obstacles that can appear. They might not know where to turn. They might not know who to ask, how to ask, or even what to ask for. Does that mean we should let them fall by the wayside?

If you see someone looking for attention, do you wonder why they are seeking it? Do you assume they are just a troublemaker or do you wonder what pain they are trying to escape from? If someone is so lonely or so scared that the only way they can think of to get attention is to become destructive, they need our help and our love, not our disgust.

I don't mean to be preachy and I have my own reasons for writing this. You may agree or you may disagree. I respect both possibilities, but at the very least, I hope you have pause for thought the next time you see someone acting up. You may notice they are sadly lacking in something that you have in abundance -- kindness.

prophecor

.....the next time you see someone acting up. You may notice they are sadly lacking in something that you have in abundance -- kindness.

Or at least, tollerance. It's a fine line to have to deal with those we regard as difficult. They may be the ones who need our attention the most. Finding where we can seperate ourselves from ourselves is paramount in tending to the needs of those who may callously slough off as being not worthy of our time, patience and energy.

Abandoned

Or at least, tollerance. It's a fine line to have to deal with those we regard as difficult. They may be the ones who need our attention the most. Finding where we can seperate ourselves from ourselves is paramount in tending to the needs of those who may callously slough off as being not worthy of our time, patience and energy.

I agree and disagree. I think that tolerance is definitely necessary to deal with life, but there are times when you have to go beyond tolerance, to kindness.

btw, I love your new avatar. What kind of car is that?

prophecor

Yes, once tollerance has been reached, then to remove myself from my shell of comfortability, into the zone of uncomfortableness. To place myself, lovingly in the path of the person who probably is being a nuisancnce, and love them effectively, regardless. To initiate kindness and compassion for thier most difficult of moments. For some, its not that they enjoy being difficult, they're just in a particular space. My patience should turn to tollerance, and my tollerance to love and compassion.

The av is a photo of what I want my Mark VIII to resemble. It's one of Popular Hot Roddings must make overs for those who have an affinity for American Muscle Cars.

changeling

I have always put myself out there to help people, especially with emotional issues. I myelf am bipolar so I know the ups and downs of mental illness.

That being said, I'm starting to believe some people just don't want to get better. There is something in them that gains satisfaction from their condition.

Take for example Brittany Spears. She is young, physically healthy, talented (that's debateable), wealthy... She has nothing stopping her from getting the help she needs, whether her problem is mental illness, substance abuse or a combination of both.

She can't run around LA at all hours drinking an drugging, miss court madated appointments regarding custody of her kids and then out of the blue say "Boo Hoo, I can't live w/o my kids!"

You can't have it both ways. You will get my help and sympathy for your problems and issues. I will do all I can to get you the help you need. But if help is available to you and you consistently refuse it, you must be getting something out of your "suffering".

And yes, some people do like the drama.

Also,these very same people do not realize that their out of control problems have a very adverse effect on their family. They delude themselves into thinking "it's all about them", but it's not.

changeling (compasionate but realistic)

dinah

It's best to give people the benefit of the doubt as far as their motives go. Lord knows we all have problems. I could throw a whine-fest from here to the west coast. Sometimes I do!

Yes, Abandoned, kindness goes a long way, especially when it is lacking in your day to day life.

One the other hand, at what point does crying for help evolve into action? I've been pretty much sitting in my own crap whining for about 5 years. What keeps me from getting up and taking a shower, so to speak? That would be me. Sometimes we keep ourselves from making changes for several reasons. Maybe the mountain we have to climb just looks too damn big. Maybe we are afraid to see what is on the other side of the mountain. Maybe we just dont know where to begin the journey!

Whatever my reason is, I just can't see myself still sitting in this same situation mentally in another 5 years.

It has definitely been kindness from many people that kept me going. It shouldn't be under-rated. I've just had friends who refuse to give up on me. Everyone should be blessed with friends like that.

To borrow a phrase from Mr. Flipper---Peace Out.

And lotsa luv from Dinah.

dinah

changeling,

It takes somes of us a long time to face up to reality. *sigh*

When I start getting crazy, I talk to my best friend. We have long talks at least once a week. Having her makes me so thankful and also worried about folks who don't have a person they can talk to. If you are surrounded by JW's and don't agree, you can't talk to your friends! THE IRONY!!

Abandoned

I had a moment today that underscores what I'm talking about. My great-uncle (96 years old) fell down and broke his hip two days ago. So my aunt brought him to St. Mary's Hospital and on our way out of town today, my mom and I stopped in to see him.

After our visit, on the elevator ride down, I said hi to a lady in her mid to upper 50's. I then asked her, "How are you doing?"

She looked at me and a tear started running down her face. "I'm not doing good at all," she said.

I looked her in the eyes and let her feel that I cared. "Do you have anyone to talk to?" I asked her.

"Yes, I do." She nodded slightly, and stood up a little straighter.

I told her that I'd be thinking good thoughts about her, in cast that sort of stuff helps.

Now, that was just a tiny encounter and it might not seem like I did very much for her, but without spending a single penny, I let her know that someone she doesn't even know cares what happens to her.

Not only that, but I GOT to be on cloud nine the rest of the afternoon. Yeah, I'd rather err on the side of kindness any day.

dinah

Abandoned,

You probably made that woman's day just by asking.

Abandoned

Abandoned,
You probably made that woman's day just by asking.

I Know!!!!

Laugh and the world laughs with you.

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