If we were a congregation?

by joelbear 56 Replies latest jw friends

  • joelbear
    joelbear

    Joel -- Troubled brother who everyone is friendly to at meetings but prays doesn't get assigned to their book study or car group.

    Kent -- Elder that everyone is afraid of because he is so misunderstood.

    Tina -- Raises hand at most questions. Known for giving best wedding showers.

    Simon -- Audio Visual guy who is often caught napping when its time for the song. Is put in charge of scanning territory maps so that they can be distributed online.

    Englishman -- Lovable old elder who is suspected of breaking wind often behind the literature counter.

    Fred Hall -- Always sits in front row of kingdom hall for every meeting. Picks his nose a lot. Raises his hand a lot but seldom called on. Gets up 15 minutes into every service meeting and runs to the bathroom. Never given anything but number 2 talk usually in Annex.

    Billygoat -- Perky sister all the brothers are just crazy for. Gives best get togethers. Knows all the best break places for service.

    Mommy -- Sits in back with kids. Arranges lots of kid get togethers so if very popular with other parents.

    Maximus -- Circuit Overseer that only appears every 6 to 8 weeks.

  • Englishman
    Englishman
    Englishman -- Lovable old elder who is suspected of breaking wind often behind the literature counter.

    You've been talking to my Missus!

    PAAAAARP!

    Nostalgia isn't what it used to be....

  • battman
    battman

    I would be the wantabe brother who had his
    "privledges" stripped and deleted as a MS
    cuz my two teen aged daughters, who were
    ignored by the in group, ended up with (gasp)
    worldly friends!!

    I would be the brother who was forced out of
    his home by his super JW wife for being spirit-
    ually weak.

    I would be the brother who filed for divorce when
    my ever faithful (to FDS) wife of 30 years took a
    postion of zero comprimise, zero tolerance, zero
    forgiveness.

    I am the brother who is now labeled as "bad
    association" for seeking a divorce. hahahahaha

    I am the brother who has slipped thru the cracks
    and no one has the balls to contact.

    Sorry for the serious tone but it helps to get this
    off my chest. I love you guys and totally jealous
    of all your good humor and often find my self
    ROTFLMAO and wid tears in my eyes laughing
    so hard.

    I apprciate all the comments here and feel that my
    life has been rescued.

    Free at last, free at last, free at last.

    I even have found a girl friend!! (gasp not only is
    she worldly but an x-Morman) toooo funny,

    cheers to all,

    Battman

  • closer2fine
    closer2fine

    I could bring the snacks.

    closer

  • Ranchette
    Ranchette

    I want to work behind the literature counter as a bartender.Or is that bartendress?
    Serving up drinks and making yall happy!

    Ranchette

  • Seeker
    Seeker

    I'll play the smarmy elder who says to brothers after they have given a talk, "That was a good talk, brother. But you know the part where you quoted the Watchtower article on such-and-so? Well, the context of the quote actually makes clear that it was really talking about blah blah blah..."

  • mommy
    mommy

    Joel
    I actually was the resident nanny when I was in. All of the parents loved it especially when they had more than one rugrat to look after. Of course I have to admit to also one that elders tried not to call on. I just had these pesky little questions that they never could answer Guess that is why I am out...lol
    wendy

    Blind faith can justify anything.~Richard Dawkins

  • OUTLAW
    OUTLAW

    AS long as Ranchette is going to run the bar .I think some world class,fine cuisine is in order.And I`m not cooking a dam thing unless I have a nice kitchen and some staff!!!...OUTLAW

  • Xena
    Xena

    ooohhhh dibs on the slutty sister who wears her skirts to short and tops to low!

    lol I think I need a sheparding call REAL BAD

  • ballistic
    ballistic

    I want to be the brother with toiretts syndrome so that I can stand up during the Watchtower and shout "F*ck you Governing Body, you suck, you mother F*cking disgusting blasphemous killing sick b*stards!!!" and then sit down quietly.

    I wonder if they would still disfellowship me?

    *

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