I told my parents that do not want anything to do with JW's when I was 15, I stopped going to meeting (not that I was really going anyway), Stopped going to ASSembly, even stopped the Memorial. At first it was guilt trips, crying, the whole what did we do wrong why are you doing this. Then the threats started, I will pull you out of public school and get rid of all your worldly friends that are a bad association, then it was well if you want to act like an adult then all you get is room and one meal a day we do not support those who turn their backs on Jehovah. No problemo I had a job anyway, then it was we will beat the love of Jehovah into you, black eyes, beating with a cut fan belts, broom stick, a cresent wrench across the head, waking me up at 4am to chop wood for hours before school, after awhile I stopped hurting there was no more pain from the blood and bruises. I left home at 17 and was told never to come back. Anyone else go through this?
Underage Apostates
by Wordly Andre 13 Replies latest jw friends
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VoidEater
Geez, Andre...I'm deeply disturbed by this, and I come from a childhood of repeated rape and physical abuse...
No, I only got firm beatings with narrow, welt-raising and cutting belts (in a highly ritualized and I would say eroticized fashion) on a weekly basis for not being perfectly still and quiet throughout the meetings. I never stood up for my beliefs or acknowledged anything about myself until a decade after leaving my parents house.
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loosie
OMG (((HUGS))) to both of you and anyone else who went thru this kind of shit.
I was my mother's little minion until I turned 24 and then left the "truth" about 3 years ago
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ex-nj-jw
Not as severe as what you experienced Andre. I tried to be a good little JW around the age of 8 because I thought that would make my mom proud of me, I was always trying to prove myself to her even after I left home. I just wanted her to love me, but I soon figured out that it wasn't going to happen so by age 10 or so I started rebelling big time. I would sleep until it was time to go to the meeting or whatever JW activity was scheduled, or come home just as it was time to leave. Many of days I went just as I was, meaning in whatever clothes I had on because my parents thought this would embarrass me into being on time and "looking presentable". I didn't care, jeans were more comfortable anyway but I spent a lot of time in the back room with the elders for that.
As I got into my teens sometimes I wouldn't come home and they would leave me and I'd get a beating when they got home. Again I didn't care about missing the meetings and especially field service, hell it was worth a beating. And as you already know at age 18 I left.
I will never understand why parents think it's so important for thier children to accept whatever religion or belief as they have. I don't believe in god or organized religion, but if my kids wanted to go to church I'd take them. As a matter of fact my youngest son went throught period where he wanted to go to church with one of his friends (I think he was on the prowl for girls though) anyway, I'd drop him off and pick him up or he'd stay at his friends house. He soon tired of it and would say things like "church is ok, but I don't want to go every Sunday and stay all day". He goes once in a while when his girlfriend is singing and she wants him to hear her.
Now, if they wanted to get involved in the JW's - I'd move mountains to keep them away! But after knowing of my childhood and seeing first hand how their grandparents are I don't think there is a chance in hell of that happening.
I hope you are moving on with life, it's hard sometimes to not think about our childhood and how we really didn't have a childhood. You know JW children are not children they are little publishers, you are not allowed to be a child. That's the dangerous part, because if you don't get out young you grow up physically but not mentally or emotionally and are unable to function or find it hard to function as an adult in the real world. I don't want to generalize but I think JW's who grow up in and stay in tend to be very naive about life in general. There are exceptions of course and I do think that anyone can adjust with time. It's just a shame to learn the thing you should have learned as a teenager at age 30.
I'm so happy that I never believed and got out young. My life has not been perfect by any means and there are things I'd go back and change if I could, but I think I turned out ok despite my JW background.
for all of us that grew up JW
nj
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wanderlustguy
I have two here with me right now...they won't have any memories like yours or mine if I can help it.
Embrace the rage, that is a big step in getting past it.
WLG
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WTWizard
I bet that having this done to keep people in the Catholic church is not heard of. All I ever got for not going to church was to have to work cutting wood while they were in church. No beatings, no having to get up and cut wood early in the morning. Just while they were in church.
Yes, once I hid down cellar and locked the door to get out of going to church. I did get spanked for that, but that was for the infraction I did to take attention away from church (and for locking the door behind me and taking the key inside with me, forcing them to waste church time to get another one).
I don't think I would have made it if I had to be brought up a witless.
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Wordly Andre
My grandparents on both sides were catholic, and the most wonderful kind people you could imagine, my grandma has always showed love no matter what we do or who we are, I only have my grandma living now, when I was a kid seeing my distant NONJW family so happy and with out the burden of the whole JW thing made me wish I was born into a different family.
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Marjorie
Wow, guys...just wow...*sighs and hugs*
I have noticed in my brief life that parents are ever so quick to quote Ephesians 6: 2, 3 ("Honor your mother and father...that it may go well with you..."), but no one ever seems to read the verse immediately following: 'And you, fathers, do not be irritating (or provoking to wrath) your children'. The Bible shows that all relationships are to be founded on a equal footing of mutual love and respect. The only imbalanced relationship is that of God and Jesus toward us. Their love will always be the greater.
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jaguarbass
Sorry to here your bad wactower experience. I remember telling my mother when I was young 6th, 7th grade 12, 13 that I didnt want to go to meetings any more, I wanted to stay home and watch tv and play sports. She ran some bs past me and basically made me go. My father was not a witness but the kingdumb hall was his baby sitter at least 6 hours a week. And he never gave me any attention or spent any time with me. Because I didnt have beyond a high school education and no aspirations of doing anything except waiting for armegeddon to come in 75 my father kicked me out of the house as soon as I graduated high school. He took my bed and belongings and put them in the garbage at the side of the road and told me to get out, and never come back. Ironically, I wanted to do something with my life, go to college or trade school, but the witnoids would come into my house at my mothers bequest and tell my parents what a waste education would be in 1971 because they were counting down 4 years till the big A. So the jackasses my mother and father made me be brainwashe by, weekly bible study, convinced my parents that I should do nothing but wait till 75. My father liked the part about not spending any money or support for an education or trade for me. But the hanging around waiting part got me kicked out of the house a couple of months after I graduated high school. Then by the time I was 19 I found a witness girl and married her and tried to apply the troof and live as a good witness till 75. This was 72-75. When 76 came, I started getting sick feelings that I with my parents and wactower societies guidance had screwed up my life. I've been dealing with those feelings for the past 31 years.
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Wordly Andre
My cousin who didn't leave the JW's till much later in life actually had it worse than me, her parents were the beat the shit out of you first then ask questions later, I remember they thought she was dating a worldly boy and her mom strapped her to a tree and whipped her with a branch. Another time she was being beaten and ran away and her mom pulled her by her hair all the way down the street and back home and whipped her with a cut water hose.